A very personal blog


roight. sometimes my head ticks off with the most depressing thoughts. i feel unworthy and useless, much worse i feel like i’m better off 6 feet under. it’s so hard to fight depression once you start dwelling on it. it will really consume you. i don’t like the feeling of being depressed, it feels like there’s nothing i could ever do to fix everything and escape is the only word that makes sense.

but, i’ve found a solution already. actually, i only realized it know. the best way to fight depression is to surround yourself with people. i only feel depressed when i’m alone because my mind is free to think of anything. but when i’m with people, my family, my friends, my dormmates… no negative thoughts come to mind. not that the people around me are extremely jubilant beings, but just the mere thought of having people around you is enough reason to at least prolong your life. see?

being depressed has something to do with the feeling that all you ever did was wrong. the truth is, you’re over reacting. not everything that goes wayward is entirely your fault. there’s always someone to share the blame with, it’s just that humans don’t usually admit their wrongs that easily. it always ends up with someone pointing you out. just remember one thing, if ever you did something wrong… ALWAYS ALWAYS admit it first before someone else does. and if you’re not aware that you did and someone already accused you of the crime… hehehe… point someone else to share the blame with! i know it’s bad to point people out (yeah, really bad) but you should know it’s not entirely your fault! share the blame, lessen the burden of depression! i dunno, this might sound like a useless advice (i think it is..after all). even i don’t have enough guts to just acuse someone just so i won’t suffer alone. oh, a sadist’s way.

okokok, maybe i’m talking nonsense now. i’ll stop.


let’s move on to another topic

i feel kinda guilty that i’m not able to attend any of jami’s dance rehearsals for her debut. it’s just that on the noted dates i always find myself busy and unavailable. sorry. >____> am i still invited? ohgosh.

hey, i’m already registered! i just finished today. hehe