A very personal blog

i'm home!!!

yeeey! i’ve been waiting for this! after two weeks of not seeing my parents, i finally got the chance to go home! like crazy, man! i wasn’t able to go home last weekend because i was heavily tuanted by the amount of exams i’ll be taking that week. all in all, i endured (but not necessarily passed) a total of 9 exams in 9 days! oh, that’s nothing! a lot of people in the university suffer a worse case than that. >_> but it’s not enough to consider me lucky, heck! i barely studied in any of those freakin exams! i have a habit of studying say, 12 hours (or less) before the actual examination starts… and it’s fucking consuming me whole. i haven’t slept, i mean i haven’t had a decent sleep since God knows when! anyhow… couldn’t care less. i told you before, if it’s about my grades… just skrew off. i’m not the least bit concerned… unless it’s Hum2 because that’s art and Hist2 because world history inspire me a lot to write!! oh GEs, they’re my only hope! i suck in my prerequisite subjects! what more with the major ones!!!

oh arianne, you have to decide fast!

so… we just had our last chem32 lecture exam awhile ago… >_> you know what…

[WARNING: useless rant. stupid regrets.]

… the test was ‘relatively’ easy. by that i mean, the questions were answerable given an above average IQ, it wasn’t like the previous exam where all i ever wanted to write on the bluebook was “fuck! which hell did these stupid problems sprout from? who’s the demon responsible for this act of utter cruelty to humankind?!!???!”

mehn. the exam wasn’t as hard as before but it’s not that easy either. some questions were tolerable, some were unnerving and downright unworthy to be given even the slightest effort. blaaah. all i wanted to say is that, i could’ve answered better if i studied harder, or more specifically… EARLIER.

see? same old habit, same old regret! but i’m not really that regretful… i was more excited to go home than to bother with my grades. >_>

oh come on! and i met a new friend awhile ago in sm megamall. it’s kinda strange that i don’t mind if i talk to a stranger. >_> i mean, every relationship starts with you being stangers to each other. haller. >_> anywhow, i was waiting for the skechers street dance contest to start when this big guy just sparked off a conversation (he was also waiting for the show to start). oh, to warn you off first. this isn’t a fucking love life. >_> the man i’m talking about is working, married, and has three daughters already…. 🙂 so yeah, we had a little chat. he gave me a handful of advises… some of which i wouldn’t want to take seriously especially the, “sige, ipagpatuloy mo na yang chem.eng, maganda yan.”

no.no.no. i’m still thinking about it.
every teenager goes through this critical stage of confusion when they’re 16. it would concern either of the following: identity (i’m pretty sure of myself naman), sexuality (i consider myself a bisexual when i was in highschool. but i grew it all off. i’m straight now. like crazy, man), blah blah blah and this special thing that concerns your future and you dreams.

yeah, that’s what i’m confused about. i pretty much know myself, my likes, my talents and skills, my attitude but it still puzzles me as to why i am pursuing someting that is absolutely unlike me. >_>

dude, i don’t know what will happen next. i haven’t experienced that ‘mega’ eye-opener yet that will knock me to my senses and enlighten my mind about the reality that is ideal for me. 🙂

till then, i’ll wait.
for now, i’ll sleep.