A very personal blog

come on chancy, don't be kj. =|

-i don’t believe it. according to the news, we don’t have classes tomorrow. it’s not even raining! c’mon chancy, where’s the text brigade?!?!? i just want to make sure i have a verifiable reason to rejoice.

– i broke a test tube awhile ago during our chem40 lab. >_>

– i cursed a lot today. i was really in a foul mood. i didn’t get my preferred schedule for the practical test on saturday. i want it to be in the morning so that i can go home early but the sign-up sheet is fucking filled. shit, i want to scratch all their names off and replace it with one big arianne. wtf. i’ll be taking the test at 3-4pm. wtf. and it’s not just that… my mood wouldn’t have been this ‘bad’ if it weren’t for one undefined negative force. i don’t know. hahaha. i just don’t feel ‘good’ today. though i think i managed to put up a facade that i’m just your usual arianne.

i’m really good with keeping my troubles to myself. especially when i know the one help that i need wouldn’t come voluntarily.

because of that… here’s a little something i stole from nez

LIST 20 THINGS YOU WANT TO SAY TO CERTAIN PEOPLE BUT KNOW YOU NEVER WILL. DON’T SAY WHO THEY ARE.

1. get well soon!

2. honestly, i feel like an idiot when i’m with you. it’s because you’re TOO SMART for your own good. but you’re my closest friend in the university and i don’t want to lose you. i’d rather risk looking like a fool than never have a company like you.

3. hey. i only like you because you look like a nerd because of your glasses. when i heard you came from a freakin science highschool and aced your chemistry exams… my interest on you grew. but then just like with #2, i don’t want to risk looking like a fool anymore. one genius of a friend is enough. i could just kill myself thinking i’m the dumbest in the university.

4. hahaha. you’re my real crush. but something’s hindering me from trying to be friends with you… and it’s the same as the previous. and i think you have a crush on #3… hahahaoutch.

5. you. you. you. you. you. you. and you. (that’s 7 people) WHY DO ALL OF YOU HAVE TO BE SO SMART?!?! (or rather, why do I have to be this STUPID) that’s the main reason why i’m finding it hard to socialize. because i can’t cope with you.

with that i skip to number 12

12. i want to be your bestfriend.

13. i miss you all. i miss the crazy days. i don’t like it here. BIG TIME. they’re pressuring me! people here give me odd looks when i talk about yaoi. with you i can talk about harry-draco all day. 🙁 i miss you all

14. thanks for everything. i appreciate the times we sing japanese songs together and exchange earphones over the weekend. 🙂

15. please don’t be bitter just because we have chem32 and you don’t. dude, you don’t know what kind of hell we are going through right now. don’t wish for us to fail, please.

16. please, whatever happens to my darned academic life, continue to believe in me. maybe not with my mental capacity but with my other skills. you know i’m not inclined to this field and i am but a lost being unsure of which path to take. i’m still confused ok. please don’t think i’m wasting all of our resources learning something i won’t be enjoying in the future. i love you. very much.

17. you are pressuring me big time and it sucks because you think i’m not being pressured so you put more pressure on me. wtf!

18. don’t hate me because i’m being negligent of my duties.

19. please don’t think i’m rich. because.i.am.not.

and lastly

20. i hope we could be close friends, really. 🙂

nuff of the drama.
you see? i am this insecure of my own academic capacity! i feel like i’m always at the bottom line.

wtf.