A very personal blog

slacking off

my conscience says i shouldn’t be here sitting comfortably in an airconditioned computer hub practically wasting what’s left with my allowance. but my craves get the better of me. even though i have nothing much to do online, i’m always having this urge to surf. we have a long test in chem16 lab later at 7-9pm. sucks big time i know but our instructor assured us that it’s going to be difficult. my classmates are so easy about this thing. they even rejoiced when our teacher dismissed us around 11 when we should be doing an experiment until 1. i’m happy too, but i’m not at peace. i have this moral dillemma that has been consuming my usual optimistic self. it’s hard to keep the good endorphins working when you’re stuck in a place you’re an alien to. i’m talking about the chem16 lecture now. grr. my mind is not working well. i don’t understand anything. and i have just recently discovered that i am so easy to please. i laugh at the simplest things around, even though it’s not that funny and i’m the only one plastered with a huge grin in our group. how can it be that? does it also explain why i don’t fret much about my low grades? i’m not at all pleased. but i wasn’t born smart, i’m still in the process of learning how to be one. and this school is so tough, so fast, so inconsiderate that i couldn’t keep up. my friends are all hyped on taking chem17 this summer. hell, because i know they’ll pass chem16 with flying colors and chances are i’ll be retaking it! so much for shifting. no no no. i shouldn’t be assuming things already. haha, i should be positive. yeah right. be positive! you’re the master of the happy endorphins!!

let’s take the verse of the day for inspiration: Daniel 2:19-23
yes… He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.

ok. let’s all study!!!