A very personal blog

oh so this is how it feels

aww. first time! i’m a growing lady! i think i’m in love! but i’m still under self-denial. heck, i won’t even mention it to anyone. not to my sister, not to my friends, as in no one! not because i don’t trust them! i just want to make sure i’m telling the truth before i finally admit it. hehehe. e ano to?

i was hurt. it was the first time i felt like this. like someone’s scrunching up my heart and piercing a hole through it. it was err… yeah it was difficult but NOT to the point of me throwing myself on the bed face down and burrying my face on the pillow crying the hell out. hahaha. that’s the advanced chapter of ‘getting hurt with your imaginary lovelife’. who knows when i’ll finally get there? hahah. not now duh. not ever.

back in the dorm awhile ago after my last class i was in a state of trance. i was sort of self-analyzing. make that 30 minutes. i was trying to grasp what’s really inside my mind just to clear things out. i’ve realized a lot of things. like what friendship really is and how different it is from just getting awfully fond of someone. hmm.

hmm. i think i’m getting my second zero in chem16. we had a quiz awhile ago. and i swear i studied. i was even proud of myself when i got a couple of problems right regarding the gas laws. but just awhile ago, my mind went blank. not exactly but i guess i wasn’t given enough time to digest the problem. here’s when your prof is taking great pleasure in seeing his student’s brows knot in absolute ignorance. i was like, “oh dear, how do you get the molecular formula again?” arrgghh. ok. totally no sweat getting an egg. mehn. pray for me. we have a long test in chem16 (again) this friday. wooooot!!

hopefully tomorrow will be a great day. i only have two subjects and there’s a chance of another awkward stroll back home. ♥