A very personal blog

occupation: labandera

i want to do a lot of things today! the insanity bell rings only when i’m idle and i can’t bear to be insane for the whole summer.
you see, right now my college life is a big blur. first of all, i don’t know which university to go to. it’s not because i have a lot of choices, it’s because i don’t have any choice!! as in WALA! mom doesn’t want me to be in UST and it hurts because it’s the only school i passed.
and i won’t have a school to enter until late May.

that’s why i’m putting that in the least of my worries because it will spoil my summer.

last last afternoon i had a dream, and it really freaked me out.
i was in school, studying and it’s music pd. you know how i hate that subject right? then i said to myself, “sana buhay pa si ms. pineda”. then suddenly i felt something heavy pressing down on me. i can feel myself sinking in my bed, i tried hard to open my eyes and wake but my eyelids were too heavy. i decided to submit. i went back to my dream and saw myself heading down the stairs, then i stood in front of the organ and began to remove the cover. next thing i knew i was playing already. that’s where i felt really scared. i struggled to wake up, i can’t continue playing, i don’t even know what i’m playing. you know the feeling of struggling to get out of your dream? it’s like in your dream you suddenly realized you were just dreaming and you wanted to get out it but you can’t? mehn, that’s too freaky… i thought i was being possessed in my dream. but anyway, it’s nice to think that i can play that well even though i was just a dream.

by the way, it’s the second time i experienced a similar thing. last time what i said was, “sana mapanaginipan ko si blue”… then i felt heavy, i was sinking in my own bed… fortunately (or unfortunately) i woke up.

you see, maybe that thing only happens when you wish for something while you’re dreaming.