A very personal blog


mehn. i cried last night because i couldn’t take the painful contractions in my chest. and it’s already 1am. my sister was supposed to bring me to the hospital but i figured i wouldn’t be able to bear the long walk to the main street. i was gasping for air, i might collapse wtf. it’s like this, whenever i breath in hard, i feel this piercing sensation prick through my chest. i believe it’s a heart burn. this is not the first time it happened but heck, this was the hardest i went through for this freakin illness (or whatever it is). it lasted from 1am until NOW. but it’s more tolerable now unlike last night where it shocked the hell out of me.

and now i realize. i’ve been having assumptions on why this hellish thing happened to me. i am hyper-acidic. i just realized it now that we’re discussing pH and acid hydrolysis in class. coffee is acidic, softdrink is acidic, milk is acidic, choclolate -sadly- is acidic, tomatoes (my favorittteeee) are acidic. and i hardly drink water when i drink commercial juices. i’ve been feeding myself with too much acid, and to add to that, i have muscle pain right now… which means there’s an over-production of lactic acid within my body. and when i skip meals, i wonder what going on with my intestinal tract (which is acidic too). oh fuck it. i don’t want to carry this burden forever.

and yeah, hyper acidity causes heart burns because… err… as far as i know, the gastric acids are regurgitating and it directly affects the breastbone. i’m not explaining further. i hate myself when i talk junk like this.

wheeeew. i’m going to drink a lot of water from now on and i’m going to try an antacid. but pleaaaseee, i can cut off with sodas and teas… just don’t take coffee, chocolates and tomatoes away. >.< and oh my golly, i don't want to get an ulcer. now onto this day.
i’m so relieved that the practical test is over! yeheeey. early morning, like 5am, i woke up my sister because i promised her we’re going to play tennis. actually, she doesn’t want me to go because the heart burn is still there but… i’m the one who insisted because i want to plaaaay. and so we played from 6:30 to 8:15 after which i went back to the dorm to prepare myself for the practical test at 9am. hahahahaha.

i sucked.

i was only able to identify 2 ions out of 5. but i’m not fretting over it. our instructor also returned to us our 2nd lab and 3rd lecture exams. i failed both! no surprise. i got a 55/100 on my lecture and a freakin 46.25/100 on the lab. and by the way… only 4 people in our class passed the lab exam. hahaha. but seriously, if this were my first chemistry ever… i would’ve killed myself for sucking big time. but nooooo… i’ve been trained to face a thousand failures without getting depressed. and besides where’s the challenge when you go through things unharmed? you gotta shed blood once in a while. eheheheee.

i’m going home tomorrow night! yeheeeey!