A very personal blog

Give me a break


I’m so frkn stressed out with work I don’t even know what to do now.

By the way, I made small changes to this blog to remove clutter and hopefully speed it up. I limited the number of posts on the homepage to five (previously 13 – can you believe the omen i’ve put on this thing lol), removed the Contact page and Work with Me page, because finally i’m letting go of identifying myself as a blogger (also bec no one really visits those pages). Cos I’m not a blogger anymore. I’m just someone who blogs. Ha? Let’s pretend there’s a profound difference there somewhere. I mean I just wanna stop advertising my blogging services and just focus on writing whatnots like I used to. I so missed the days when I would just whip up the post editor and rant about nonsensical things. For a while I got conscious of putting up streamlined content for content’s sake but heck I’m the least cohesive person out there and it’s kindof a task having to narrate my day properly when it’s not even a proper day to begin with.

I’ve come to realize that the moment I start monetizing my hobbies is the moment it stops being fun. I loved writing, I’m not good at it, but when I got a writing job, I realized I didn’t want to write for a living. I loved drawing and designing, again I’m not the best I just know enough, and yes eventually it became taxing and troublesome dealing with clients and it stopped being a creative outlet for me. I sold out on the things that made me happy and got enslaved by money. And so, I’m not doing that again. But not entirely haha. Adsense works for me cos it doesn’t tell me what to do. 

Which is why I appreciate having a job that’s not aligned with my hobbies. I don’t love it, but I’m good enough at it. I won’t do it for fun, so I can take a break by doing the things I love and come back to work recharged. I care just enough to deliver what needs to be done in the most efficient way I can. It’s also mentally stimulating and financially rewarding at the same time. 

That’s said, let’s start anew. I’m back to being more personal and spontaneous so expect more entries like this where I just take a break from scripting goddamn tests and vent about how I stressed I am at work.

But wait, I just got promoted! Thank you Lord!!! My manager called me the other day to tell me the good news and the amount of increase. Finally, I’m at my dream salary range can you believe iiiiiit? Uhm, I actually do. I’ve been offered the same amount before, but I turned it down. And now it took me 3 years to earn that here hahaha. But hey, no regrets.

I wonder if it came with more perks. Like, is it just the increase? I would love to have parking privileges in our new office or maybe even some Grab allowance haha. 

I’m very happy about the promotion but I also wonder about what it entails. I don’t want more resposibilities cos I feel like I already earned this from what I’m currently doing for the company so I just wanna keep at it. I want to maintain where I am today because I feel like this is my peak and I’m already comfortable here. Pwede ba yon. Hanggang dito na lang ako kasi pagod na ko umeffort pa.

Alright gotta go.