a pretty casual question but coming from someone i admire so much i guess it kinda rattled me. oo nga naman, bakit ako nagpapastress dito (work)? why can’t i work happily?
you see, i have an unfinished task that was due yesterday but i wasn’t able to finish it because i couldn’t get some bastarded blocks of code to work, that or i didn’t know the right code to use (most probably). it was depressing, you know, not being able to beat a deadline. not being able to deliver. being judged indirectly for your lack of skills. although i admit it’s more of paranoia, the latter part, i can’t help but be reassured everyday of my shortcomings. i just have to look to my side. literally.
i just can’t go on knowing that at this point, i haven’t learned enough to say i deserve my job. maybe i just need a change of environment. or a change of seats. not again? haha kidding.