A very personal blog

haha wala lang

Was back reading my june 2010 blog posts earlier and what can I say, actually wala, I just kept on laughing at myself, at the seemingly shallow situations i was in and what I wrote about them hahahaha. Eto yung “one day I’m gonna back-read my journal and laugh at my silly writings…” days I always tell myself. There’s just so much to read duh 8 years ba naman? (okay, I’m actually proud that I’ve been blogging since 2004 waha)! Some of them I don’t even remember na, like most of my “hate” entries. I can’t figure out which person I’m referring to. Odiba, that means I’ve forgotten na! >XD I’m such a good girl!

May na-realize nga ako sa sarili ko eh, ang sama sama ko pala talaga HAHAHA. Maybe the only thing that has changed about my bad attitude is that I quit giving a lot of f*cks in my recent entries. And I mean that literally, cos you know uhm I swear a lot in my old old entries and that four letter expletive is my favorite so yeah. I feel bad if I’m making you feel stupid by having to explain that still. HAHA. Sorry.

Oh btw, terai and I just signed up for Million Volunteers Run 2013 by Red Cross Philippines. I think it’s my first time to join a fun run… for fun? Hahaha also because it’s cheap hahah online registration costs only 100 hehe >XD and yeah. Feb 10 orayt! >XD a good excuse to buy new rubber shoes HAHA
May problema ako. I feel super duper judgmental. As in! parang lahat ng taong nakaka-salubong ko iju-judge ko. HAHA but just so you know, everytime I do that, I counter myself naman and apologize to my father above and try to look on the, errr, brighter side of the person! I mean, it’s awful enough that my default judgment is set to negative, (napaka-perfect ko eh no?) so in the same minute that I do that, I repent. Hehe the only chance I get a positive value for an initial judgment is when I see someone wearing a cool bag. A bag I want to have! HAHA covetousness chuva amp.
Have you noticed? I’m not complaining a lot about work na! yeah right but that’s not because it’s becoming bearable, but because I’VE GOT NO TIME YO. HAHAHA kainis. Andali na nga nung task ko hindi ko pa maperfect… since when did CSS pose such a big problem to a programmer? Apparently when it’s your only task. >:P I feel… useless? But the appreciated kind of useless naman… labo e no, in the end… I’m useless. Huhu? No really.
I’m starting to doubt the “attitude is more important” clause at work cos no matter how cheerful and perfect your attitude towards working is, the main job still goes to the skillful nerds with no social life. Or just the skillful ones. Why? Because in reality, even though it’s not fun working with nerds who don’t give a fck, as long as the project gets done and delivered on time, you’re all safe! a positive attitude can only keep you from jumping off the rails.. and, and help you in making friends! But professional-wise?
Disclaimer though, above statements are purely fictional and exaggerated… just so you see my point. Right now I’m unsure if my attitude is still enough to keep me going. Cos you see, 8 months at work and I still feel lacking in skills. Haha >XD
I survived java… why can’t i C that? WAHAHAHA
sorry natawa ko dun.
hm wala lang, feeling ko lang kulang parin ako at hindi parin ako handa at wala parin akong alam. Pero feeling ko feeling ko lang naman yun e. cos even though I always tell myself that I can’t do it, at the end of the day magugulat na lang ako na, kaya ko pala? J