I’m in the process of summarizing my year by inspecting my monthly entries last 2011 (as if 2011 was so buried in the past bwaha) kaso tinatamad na ko, but all in all i could say it was a year full of risks! haha
God gave me so friggin much to handle this year and though it’s not over yet and half the time i thought i sucked so much, i still thank Him for the experience, for the learnings, for the tears and for that ounce of maturity i think i may have gained from all that happened.
up until now i still don’t think i deserve everything i have earned today, except for my grades (cos i know i bloody worked hard for them). i mean, all this leadership gigs just gave me stress and stress alone, NO FULFILLMENT whatsoever which is why i learned that i’m not and will never be leader material. i’m probably a better follower. yes. haaaay. it’s too disheartening that i’ve never really done anything noteworthy for the two organizations i’m “handling”. first of all, i hate planning and actually acting on them. i’d rather have someone tell me what to do cos i believe i can do better following orders than actually giving them, because my ideas suck. yes, because i don’t think at all. haha THEN! there’s my being selfish too! i’m not really that service oriented and willing to lead, i do want to help people out, even at the cost of being called a teacher’s pet or a puppet of the administration (LOL)***, but not in this kind of limelight where the expectations are suffocating BUT somehow i know this will help me build up my resume (oh there, i said it!) so yes, i’m your president because i’m that selfish. and i’m not really sorry for it. errr yeah.
i dunno what’s in store for me this term. it’s my last term and my schedule is sooooo freaking free THAT I WANT TO WORK, outside or at school, it doesn’t matter as long as i’m earning! i prefer to work at school, though i dunno if i could still get in the SA “club” or something after leaving for thesis and all. i don’t have any other backups, i want to get a job. seriously! i neeeeed money! >XO
i hope this year will be nice to me!
btw, the best thing about 2011 was that i actually got a boyfriend when i thought i’d be NBSB for life, forever dark and not beautiful enough to catch someone’s attention. i consider myself blessed that of all people who could possibly “act” on me, i got someone who could actually help fix my spiritual life. BWAHAHA some people may have blamed him though cos my grades dropped right when i was starting to put more attention into my love life like i have no right to cos i’m at the peak of chasing a latin honor (err people notice, yknow) … but i don’t blame him. i blame myself loooool.
btw again, i feel like a total girl because I’M NOW HOOKED TO GOSSIP GIRL.
the start of 2011 was all about downloading anime and k-dramas. by the end of the year i was actually into english speaking series like pretty little liars and now, GOSSIP GIRL. grabe sobrang sabog talaga ng blooming period ko. >X( if i had known about them at least 2 seasons earlier, i would’ve been uhmm more girl! err idk. hahahahaha
err ang haba haba naman nito, sige bye! >:D
*** – i simply want to be of help to everyone! to the profs, to the students… even if the most i could do is show where the clinic is or photocopy an entire book for a whole class. whatever. i enjoy menial jobs. hahaha