A very personal blog

really?

yesss. i know how to ride a bike now. including making turns! uhm, and u-turns! gawd. i like rode for 2 hours around the subdivision and ended up with sore legs and bloody ankles. i can’t get used to meeting cars on the road. i slow down and end up knocking the gutter. i think the brakes are too soft. and the the steering thing (well, it’s not a wheel) isn’t pantay. whatever. but look! my bike is awesome!!! the seat is low and it has a basket! like in korean movies! LOL thank you mommy and daddy! i thought i’m gonna miss out on this essential ability. >:D

then you know, after the two-hour mega exhausting exercise, my sister treated me to pizza, salad, pasta and ice cream. i really didn’t want to eat a lot but she was like, “salad? why are you starving yourself?”

i’m fucking not starving myself. you just eat way too much. @_@

ever since i subscribed to smartbro, i became more thrifty and frugal. cos you know, i have to pay 1K a month. i don’t want to run out of funds right when the bill has arrived. i now prefer walking than anything else cos of course, it’s a good exercise and i can save a lot. i don’t yearn for cheeseburger anymore than i used too. and i’ve kinda grown tired of chicken balls too. my recent craving would be selecta coffee crumble ice cream, but it’s easy to suppress given that it’s not cheap and translates to too much weight gain. LOL

i’ve never been this successful in guilt-tripping myself.

let’s see how far i can go with this one. 

btw, D accepted my facebook friend request. for some odd reason. i don’t think he’s someone who adds people he doesn’t know but anyway we have 32 mutual friends. it’s enough right? LOL then brian told me how he has always been with us during the previous tri’s but i never noticed cos i was sorta over-fixed at JM. arggh. why did i never notice? bri was like, ‘there were times you were sitting beside each other’ and mentally i wanted to yell at him for not even introducing me!

how could i not have noticed? what a tragedy. he’s way cuter than JM, seriously! he’s taller and HE WEARS GLASSES and he played in the varsity and uhm. nothing else. FOR NOW.
come. on.

you know me. >;)

anyway, i can’t get over it. he confirmed me. maybe he remembers me? i think? i wish? PLEASE?! fine.

oh, awhile ago kinda sucked. i couldn’t stand the silence between JM and i. he was reading and i was just sitting there, pretending to text. well, i was texting bon and dan, i told them how much i suck at THIS. nothing came from me, occasionally he’ll speak then i’ll respond but knowing myself, i couldn’t have stretched that conversation any further. i suck so much. when bon came out of the room, i excused myself and followed him. I JUST FUCKING COULDN’T STAND IT. i’m a total twerp. it’s okay if we’re three, but it’s just the two of us. i ranted about it. carl was there and he was laughing at me. i know, if i were someone else i’d laugh at myself too. a childhood crushing complex at 20? absurrrrd. i came out and he was gone. LOL

i dunno. i was talking to dan about it and he sorta made me realize MORE that i’ve wasted so many chances. i know. i never change do i? i still can’t handle myself properly with these kind of people. i do like him but i’m afraid i’ll turn out to be an extremely boring partner. i couldn’t even respond to an instant message without sounding totally uninterested. argh.

i wish he knows this side of me. you know, so that he won’t think i hate him or something.
oh right. he knows everything. he probably knows how my inner organs panic when he’s withing 10 meters.

what a provoking jerk.