A very personal blog

the petty things that make my heart lurch

// there’s a big big sale at sm megamall this weekend. >:)

it was a blessing that we haven’t received our salaries yet, or else i’ll be going home with a new bag. >:) actually i did, but it’s not for me. i bought it for terai who looked like she needed it more. yey, i was being generous. after all, what do i need a new bag for? but you know what, the feeling of rummaging the jiovanni section for cool colors was ecstatic!! i felt (yet again) like rebecca bloomwood fighting off her shopaholic urges. i didn’t have enough cash with me but i have my debit card *wink*. then i saw this big blue envelope shoulder/body bag and thought that it’s the perfect contrast for my plain white shirt and sequined jeans. i’m hardly a fashionable person. i’m not even a clothes person, i like bags, wallets and jackets more hehehehe

i was feeling the bag for like 15 minutes (that’s long you know), thinking that if i buy this, i have to loan 700 from my savings. and 700 for me is big. then the saleslady went to me to check the tag, apparently SOMEONE ELSE WAS EYEING MY BAG. i panicked, oh nooo. if i put this down even for a second, the fat mom beside me will surely snatch it and take it straight to the counter. if i buy it now i’m gonna be happy and victorious over a bunch of envy shoppers. then again, i kept on asking myself if i really need this, NOW. the obvious answer is no but i found myself repeating the question a hundred times.

after 15 minutes of trying out the bag, i surrendered the thing. i’ve finally acknowledged the fact that i don’t need it so i put it back. in 3 days it’ll back to 1400 and i wouldn’t have the slightest inkling of purchasing it. i felt sad. you know the feeling of not getting what you want when it’s only there for a limited amount of time? it’s God’s way of saying NO. but you see, i saw my sister trying out this purple bag and thought that, if it’s too bad that i’m buying something for myself, then i’d buy for my sister instead. and so i did. maaaan was it fulfilling. i insisted on buying it for her, even though she too has been repeating the mantra “do i need this?” over and over in her head and is close to enlightenment (which is no). i told her it’s a gift! >:) i was being strangely generous, i couldn’t explain why. maybe because i channeled my frustration of buying the blue bag into a charitable medium. either way, i was happy i bought it. and more so, that’s it’s 50% off. >:)

the real reason why i came to ortigas is to buy a dvd of Sungkyunkwan Scandal at st. francis, unfortunately, no one has it yet because it’s a relatively new series. the dvds are probably still in the burning process. God speed to these burners, i need a copy asap. and may the optical media board overlook their warehouse on one of their raids. Lord, please let it be available next week. please. or just give me at least 1mbps so i could watch it online. >:(

// this morning, i ate breakfast with brian at mcdonald’s. i sorely miss hanging out with my bestfriend. >:( the pancakes were good, specially the hot choco, but nothing beats the company of one of the people i missed so much. >:(

// btw, jm and i scored and unexpected 99% at lovecalculator.com

// thank you Lord for keeping my scores at school pretty good. >:)

with this, i shall sleep. it just rained so the broadband signal is probably fucked up from all the atmospheric charges the sky gave off earlier. i couldn’t stream k-dramas with this speed.

for now, fuck you Globe.