Frkn migraine

I've been having frequent headaches recently. Normally it comes a week before my period, I'll have it for one whole day and it's hell, but now I have one almost everyday, at random times, and I'm still on my period. I notice I get headaches when I get up too late, or when I'm hungry, or thirsty. So I'll eat alright, have some coffee, and it'll be gone for a while, then it'll be back. Then I'll take some mefenamic, then wait for it to take effect, but I don't think it really works. I actually have a headache right now at this moment while typing this. And it sucks. Maybe it also happens when I eat too much? Is it my glasses? Hay Lord. The location of the pain is telling of a migraine; the first one in this photo:

Besides this fucking migraine I'm also battling some work induced anxiety lol. I'm feeling overwhelmed with my first task, everything here looks super advanced like I'm not properly equipped with anything they're expecting me to do. There's a freaking huuuuuge knowledge gap I need to fill in because huhuhu everything is so advanced nga. Makes me wonder how the heck I got this job when they're looking for an expert. I was very honest with my interviews naman where I said I've never done unattended robots and have never used orchestrator, all my UiPath experience are UI based and manually triggered and now I'm realizing how so freaking basic that is.

Haaay. I wanna say this too shall pass but I know it will not pass me by idly, I have to really work on this which is freaking scary because I don't know where to start??? I do feel like I know who to go to but I don't know what to tell them or ask them or what specifically do I need from them. I feel like I need a lot of hand-holding in order to do this one job but I also feel hopeful that once I get over this first task I will be in a much better mental state hahaha. For now I've started working on the documentation, trying to piece together the actual scope of the project and the manual steps for the as-is process, just to put something out there. I wanna blame myself for being so freaking shy and procrastinating on a lot of things that require talking to people. Half the stress I'm facing right now could've been eliminated if I went ahead and talked to people to get help. But no, I'm too scared to reach out! Oh well.

Life Lately

✱ Reading 

I've been stuck on Surrounded by Idiots for months but I don't want to quit it because it feels wrong lol. You know when you get a really boring books it takes ages for you to finish and it's frustrating because you can't skip to the next one without feeling weird that you abandoned a book 46% into it? But man, I'm three books behind my goal for 2022 Goodreads Challenge and I can't lose traction just because of a boring book. There has to be a way to overcome this. Yeah, I'm skimming it. That's it. 

✱ Watching

Nothing, at last! We finally finished She-Hulk: Attorney At Law this afternoon which was a relief hahaha. To be honest I didn't like the show. I can't say anything good about it. Oh wait I think I have one, it's *spoiler alert* Hulk's son.

Ever since episode one I've prepared myself for the worst and to be fair, episode after episode it keeps getting worse. Oh my God.

So what's wrong exactly?

• The script. It's so badly written, full of preachy woke agenda that doesn't add to the plot, if there's even one.
• The comedy is so forced it's so cringe.
• Wasted characters. Tatiana for one, I had a lot of expectations. She was the antagonist I was waiting for, or Mallory even, or better yet -- Nikki. I'll find that more convincing, women encounter more bitches than sons of bitches in real life, believe me.
• Ruined characters, most of them men, of course. They reduced every male character in the show to either wimps, incels, or idiots just to elevate the women in the show. To be honest, I would give it a pass because some are new characters I'm not familiar with so you can introduce them however you want.
• But to reduce already established characters like The Hulk, Wong, and Daredevil? They were made so uncharacteristic just to prevent them from stealing the spotlight.
• Very shallow plot. Which is kinda reflective of the whole modern-day feminist movement and the real weight of their agenda. Oops.
• No character development. I think the writers wanted to show how Jen struggled between her two identities and eventually learned to embrace them both. I was waiting for that to unfold. But it wasn't shown anywhere. She just said she can be both at the end, but again, there was no proof. Much like everything she complained about being a woman on episode 1, all but an echo. She has no arc.
• As a law comedy it already failed on a legal front, and it's not funny too. Now I don't know what to call it.
• Jen kept breaking the fourth wall to remind us it's her show, which was cute at first, but eventually became pathetic. Up to the last episode she's been trying to claim the show. Which is weird because it's already named after her. It's such a weirdly insecure act for someone who is so self-assured.

I guess, in true woke fashion, the series is trying to show who the real antagonists are, which is everyone who didn't like She-Hulk haha. Wow. I must admit, they've really mastered the art of victimhood. Congrats! They made it required watching, baited everyone into the anticipated cameos, and yet they couldn't just make it into a good show? They just really want to push the agenda so they can make sexists of everyone who disagree. They knew it sucked and thought it was a gotchu moment lol.

✱ Listening

To BP Valenzuela on YouTube music. 

✱ Thinking

About what day of the week to come to work.

I'm in the office right now and I kinda like the spot where I'm in; row's end beside the window. I haven't been able to sit where I used to (which is beside my teammate) ever since I started coming in at 3pm and even though there's no shortage of seats around here, I don't like the fact that I have to worry about not knowing where to sit as soon as I get to the floor. It gives me anxiety, you know. The same dread an outcast feels coming in to a cafeteria full of people. Which is why I'm considering coming in on Mondays or Fridays instead. I'm still not sure.

Generally, I want to avoid days where I have meetings because I prefer to take them at home. And the only days I have no regular meetings are Wednesdays and Fridays. The good thing about Wednesday is that I get to see one of my teammates cos he comes in Tues-Thurs. We have a short overlap where I can ask questions and stuff and kinda just show myself, and that's good. My husband also comes to his office on Wednesdays, so we get to leave the house together. It's pretty practical for us. On the day we both work in the office I don't have to prepare dinner so we can both eat out. The only downside to coming in on Wednesdays is that a lot of people also come to work on Wednesdays, as I have observed, and obviously I want to avoid them haha. 

Let's take a look at Friday. I haven't tried coming in on a Friday. I think less people come to the office on this day so I wouldn't have to worry about looking for a seat. But also, I have no teammate to personally bother lol, aaaand I think traffic is generally bad on this day. Especially when it falls on a payday. 

So yeah, I guess Wednesday is really the obvious choice. 

✱ Smelling

My breath pollute my face mask.

✱ Wishing

For some clarity at work. I have a task now, and I don't know what to do. I'm currently in the information gathering phase, which isn't looking so good because I don't have a clear plan. What I know is that I need to make an as-is process documentation to really understand what they do, get the right access to relevant sites so I can emulate what they do, learn how automations are developed and deployed here (what I'm currently stressing about), and finally develop and deploy everything properly. I think I know what to do but I don't have a template for it.

What I want to do properly though is maintain a Confluence site for all of the details of this project. I really wanna learn how to do things here properly, but I'm not even teammates with the people who can help me from a development standpoint. And in order to move forward I have to really reach out, and I suck at reaching out because I'm not really the proactive type huhu. This stresses me out so much.

Part of me wants to delay this until my new teammate comes in so we can tread together. I blame myself for asking for work too early lol I could have just enjoyed the months until my new teammate comes haha.

✱ Wearing

Blouse, denim leggings, and sneakers.

✱ Loving

♥ That I got to roam around High Street earlier. I reached the almost far end of the strip, where Fully Booked is.
♥ Got 50 off on my coffee at CBTL too. It's not as good though, their cafe latte, I don't recommend CBTL anymore. Muji's is better, and cheaper too.
♥ Had dinner at Salad Stop, ordered Oh Crab Lah wrap. Love it!

✱ Wanting

To get our house cleaned. I have "general cleaning" scheduled every month on my calendar but sometimes I forget until it comes to a point where I couldn't walk barefoot at home anymore because it's too dusty. We've always had a dust problem at home. With the amount of construction happening around our condo, it's a must to vacuum every single day otherwise we'd be dead of allergies.

There are five parts to getting the house really clean: CR cleaning, surface cleaning, floor cleaning, decluttering, and organizing. I cannot do everything in just one session. Good thing I scheduled for a deep cleaning tomorrow, they'll take care of the first three parts. Looking forward to having the house clean again! 

✱ Needing

Uhm, to really make some good progress at work. Please pray for me! 

✱ Feeling

My head hurt. I need to go home now.

Does Your Career Leave You Feeling Dissatisfied? Read This Guide Now

 It’s far too common for people to feel dissatisfied with their career, and the effect that this can have on your day to day quality of life as well as your general mental health is astounding. Being unhappy in the workplace is an issue that needs to be addressed, as you likely spend upwards of 40 hours each week at work - this is a huge chunk of your life to lose to misery and boredom.

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Image Source - Pexels

Work From Home

One of the best ways to get rid of most of the hassle that comes with any average job is to work from home. Working from home means that you don’t have to be bothered by colleagues whom you do not get on with, nor do you need to go through the stress of having to get ready and travel to a workplace. When you choose to work from home you can expect so many benefits, and it can be a fun and relaxing experience if you take the right steps to meet your goals and stay focused. You can use the opportunity to cook yourself a fresh nutritious lunch rather than forcing yourself to eat a miserable, half-empty grocery store sandwich, and you can even choose to get dressed in your comfiest clothes rather than wearing a suit. There are so many job options that you can explore if you would like to work from home, including blogging, trading bonds, working in customer service, admin, and more.

Step Outside Your Comfort Zone 

Another effective step that you can follow if you want to gain more satisfaction from your career is to step out of your comfort zone. It's more than possible that you have become your own worst enemy in the workplace, as lots of people accidentally hold themselves back through lack of confidence amongst other reasons. Deciding to take the plunge and step outside your comfort zone will be an exciting and invigorating experience that will certainly benefit your career, so it’s a good idea to try and build up the courage to break free from the same dull cycle. If you want to change industries to work on a whole new subject, then get out there and do it! If you’ve always dreamed of heading back to school to get a degree, then get out there and graduate! Outside your comfort zone is where the magic really happens, so you certainly won’t regret diving in at the deep end when your career shoots to superstardom as a result. 

With any luck, these informative ideas will help you to achieve career satisfaction in no time at all.

Everything material is immaterial

I wanted to share a lot of things that happened in the past couple of weeks but it feels too late now like all of the emotions I have at the time have gone already so I couldn't write about it blow by blow. But let me try...

On October 1, on the way to IKEA we got into a traffic accident involving an SUV. I was merging lanes, thought it gave way, then BAAAM!! Apparently not. We were already halfway into the lane when the car behind us slowly moved forward. It scraped our car from the driver's door and went on until our sidemirror folded. Ironically, it all happened so slowly. Yep. Slowly. It looked very intentional. Only a sad asshole would assert its way in that manner. But because it happened slowly we thought maybe the driver wasn't looking, was preoccupied with other things and didn't notice the car in front has already moved forward significantly. And us on the other hand, saw it as an opportunity to merge, one that the car behind generously provided us. But nope.

I spent the week after that gathering info from our insurance provider and demanding payment from the driver. We exchanged fb's and I asked for a very conservative 2.5k to cover the participation fee from our insurance provider. In which she responded, "what about my damage?". Wow, she clearly has one on the head. Lol at the audacity of this kid. I told her her damage is her fault. And it is. I shouldn't even care that she's wearing a mourning pin, is on the way to a funeral, when she carelessly inflicted damage on our vehicle. But that glaring black square on her white shirt was the first thing I noticed and admittedly when I saw that I didn't know what to do next. I offered my condolences but that's not really why my mind blanked out. I don't know. I was just shocked. And in my state of shock and confusion I forgot to get her number, the offending vehicle's plate, and its OR/CR. The only essential thing I got is a copy of her driver's license. The plate number we recovered through our dashcam. Damn.

Thankfully she was responsive on fb, but not at the rate I prefer considering the urgency at which I want to get over this with. She paid up, eventually, and all is good. But not after threatening her that it's either 2.5k or the insurance company will run after her for the full cost of repairs, and we'll have to put this on blotter so it will show up in her records. Considering her age which I got from her driver's license, if she starts looking for a job she won't get a police clearance. That should make for an easy choice.

Only God knows how the hell she didn't notice a car halfway merged in front of her. We weren't even cutting, if we were then the impact would be fast. She had all the time to slow down and pull to a stop and she didn't. Seems like she wasn't looking at all. Hay. I could only hope she learns from this. I mean, if you're not in the right headspace, being in mourning and shit, you shouldn't be driving. Don't be a danger to the people around you right?? Urgh.

After the incident we tried to salvage whatever good is left of our day by still going to IKEA to do what I had planned to do: buy some home decor and eat meatballs. I was only able to do the former because the line at the Swedish Restaurant was ridiculously long. I was happy with my purchase though. I got three Knoppangs and a Fejka. Still doesn't compensate for getting into a traffic accident. Urgh. Plus IKEA on a payday weekend is such a bad idea. It was so crowded and chaotic.

I still drove on the way home despite my trauma from the incident. I've always hated the route going to and from MOA. It always gets crazy the moment you enter EDSA extension. All types of vehicles are in one crazy riot: trucks, jeeps, buses, motorcycles, trykes, private cars, even pedicabs can you believe it argh.

On the way home we stopped by Poco Deli to get a late lunch when I realized my wedding ring is missing. Wow. That is strike two for the fucking first of October. Obviously I felt even more down. Could the other driver have taken it? Was there some hocus focus that happened earlier? Is her mourning pin fake? Lol

When we got home I just cried at my husband complaining about how bad this day was. He hugged me and comforted me all night. We were together the whole day but he wasn't as fazed as I was. He says today was a very interesting day and brought up very convincing points as he was consoling me:

1. Don't worry about the car because we've been meaning to have our bumper fixed anyway so let's just consider this incident as a final reminder to get the bumper fixed haha
2. Don't worry about the ring because we could have his melted and turned into two rings, we've been meaning to have his resized anyway cos it's gone loose now
3. You got your IKEA haul and we had a good lunch at Poco Deli, and we got to buy legit Vienna sausage lol

That was very enlightening for me. You know, that whole night I was just so disheartened all I did was come to my husband to cry and get a hug. It is very comforting getting a warm hug from someone you love. He made me realize that everything I worry about is material, and ultimately immaterial. Every dejected thing about this day shall pass. 

And it did.

It's been three weeks since the incident and everything's been sorted out. Actually, the next few days already felt like retribution. Like I mentioned above, the driver paid up. And aside from that, when I called insurance turns out we didn't have to pay for anything. It's our first claim for the policy period so participation fee is waived. The entire claiming process was also a breeze. We just had to bring the car to the auto shop for assessment and pay for notary of affidavit. We didn't even have to write the affidavit, they took care of everything. Yeah, including making up a story, if you get what I mean. Since we're not going after the offending driver anymore we had to file for self-damage claim. The owner and one of his guys was bouncing off ideas on what to put on the details of the affidavit, and in end we settled for a story which they assured us would get past through insurance. They told us not to worry, cos they know them all too well. This story works so let's stick with it. 

Guys. That experience was interesting, to say the least. We just met a Saul Goodman. And despite putting our integrity in question, we felt super relieved after. So this is how this works huh? This is how the world works?

Two weeks later we brought the car back so they can start with repairs. Here's to hoping they do a good job with it!

Finally, to put an end to all the stress I sustained from that unfortunate first of October, miraculously, my wedding ring turned up. Turns out I dropped it at Poco Deli! I never considered looking there because it was where I realized I lost it so naturally I would retrace my steps, Poco Deli not being in that trail. And by God, I wouldn't have asked there if the guard at Unimart hadn't told me to try checking with Poco Deli first while the admin officer is on break. I didn't really have any hope left in me that day, so whatever, even though I was convinced it isn't the place to look for, I have nothing to lose anyway so might as well. And then can you believe it, when I approached the counter and asked the crew if they found a ring when we dined here last Saturday, they heaved a confirmative "aaah", and lo and beaaahld, they actually have my ring! Oh my God! I was in such a good mood we had celebratory sushi at Dough and Grocer. Their assorted Aburi Oshi oshi is delicious!

I can't believe it. Everything was solved within the week. First we learned we didn't have to pay anything for participation and repairs, then the driver who hit us paid up, and finally I found my ring. I'm still reeling from how things turned around that quick, putting all my worries and tears in vain.

Thank God for my husband, he's been a great refuge in that trying week. He kept me sane. Even though we already both know what to do, which is to get the car fixed and accept that I lost my wedding ring, I was too focused on the process, anticipating the worst, that I lose sight of the goal. My husband, on the other hand knows that what we want to happen will eventually happen so why worry? 

Yeah I get his point, I just don't know if I'm capable of that haha.

Ahh, thank you Lord. ♥

If you've reached the end of this post, wow, thank you for enduring my rambling!!!

This week

Starting the weekend on a thankful note!

✱ It's our fifth year anniversary yesterday!

Welcomed it with buffalo wings and cheese tart! Will celebrate more (expensively lol) over the weekend hehe ♥

✱ I got my backpay this week! 💸

And it took less than a month wow. Usually backpays take three months minimum and an enraged follow up with HR lol. But yeah, thanks White & Case! You the best!

So where did my money go?

✓ Most of it went to replenishing our emergency funds and paying our insurance policies

✓ I was also able to fully pay my iphone omg can you imagine the bragging rights haha 

✓ Booked a staycation for our anniv ♥

✓ Bought new bed sheets (long overdue) and a taller shoe cabinet

✓ The rest I spent on Shopee on random stuff like a karaoke mic hihi, a tripod, collagen drink, an ipad case, some stickers, leather tape, etc. You know, stuff that's been sitting in my cart for ages. Then I went ahead and added some more bwahaha. We just can't leave our carts empty right?

✓ Oh yeah I saved some too haha. That's me pretending to be a responsible adult. 

I'm so excited to receive the items I checked out but I'm also worried they'll arrive over the weekend when we're not here! Our reception doesn't hold items anymore and charges 50/day for items unclaimed within 24 hours so that sucks.

✱ Completed mandatory trainings

I've completed all the mandatory trainings assigned to me during onboarding, so now I'm left with nothing to do. Again. Still don't have my admin account, let alone admin rights so I can at least begin installing stuff. Oh well. Every time I raise it to my teammates they're pretty lax about it and tell me it's fine, enjoy it while you can haha. Guess I'll do just that. 

✱ Decluttered a bunch of stuff

Feels great to free the house of clutter every once in a while. I gave away a lot of things, and it felt so good cos I get to reclaim a little bit of space in the house, you know so I could put in more things bwahaha.

✱ My knees are recovering yey

Same old injury that keeps plaguing me every now and then. I thought I've overcome the fear of straining my knees during badminton but seems like I need to condition myself more. I wear knee support on both of my knees now lol. This one doesn't seem so bad though, unlike before where I had to use crutches. The moment my knee clicked in pain, I sat down, put ointment, and did a couple of knee circles. Thank God it's not too bad and I'm still able to walk properly though I had to sleep with my leg raised on a pillow because the swelling is painful. I wasn't able to come to work Tuesday as scheduled because I couldn't walk around with a painful knee, much more ride an angkas. Thankfully, the following days are much better.

Hoping for a great weekend! ♥

What sucks

✱ Sucks that Kindle Cloud Reader doesn't permit reading of sideloaded books. Though who am I to complain haha. Maybe when I get super rich I wouldn't mind buying books directly from Amazon because what's wasting ~500 pesos on a potentially bad book right? I can just earn it lol. But right now, despite the little bit of hassle and the risk of getting badly digitized copies, I still prefer downloading through Z-lib. If Kinde Unlimited was truly unlimited I would have subscribed to it instead of downloading books one by one, but I know KU doesn't carry the same variety Kindle has so nevermind, plus at the rate at which I'm reading, I feel like paying $10 a month would be a waste. Although wait, if I average at least one book a month that would make the subscription fee worth it right? Considering a book is also around $10. Hmmm. Nope.

✱ I checked my Adsense earnings and found that my web and channel earnings have been segregated already which sucks cos it's gonna take longer to reach the withdrawal threshold now that they're split into separate accounts with separate thresholds. My web earnings is only around $10 and my Youtube is at $110, I wish I could combine them so I could reach threshold faster but oh well. My web earnings is probably gonna take another decade to reach threshold and youtube, uhm, if I get a steady amount of views despite my lack of new review content lately, maybe two years hahahuhu. Totally not looking forward to this anymore lol.

✱ Last week we went to Megamall to look for a monitor cos I just returned the ones I'm using back to White & Case. Thought I could buy them out, turns out they're not yet for lease return. And here I am excitedly looking for something exactly like what the office had provided me only to realize they were hella expensive lol. I thought monitors are cheap, like 3k cheap. Anyway. The one I used to work on is a Dell U2419H which is super great it's got like 5 USB ports, HDMI, DP, and can be mounted with a VESA plate. It's been the perfect monitor for my current setup where I alternate between my work laptop and personal computer everyday. Work laptop to HDMI, and my personal laptop to the DP. Which is why it's extremely important for me to get HDMI and DP, not HDMI and VGA like what most monitors have.

I tried to look for something similar online but couldn't find anything brand new. Added a bunch of models to my Shopee and Lazada cart hoping SM Cyberzone would have something on-hand that doesn't cost too much, unfortunately there were none that fit my specs requirements moreso my budget lol. I thought I'd get a good deal since it's 9.9 haha in the end I checked-out a BenQ (bengk? ben-q? hahaha) monitor from Lazada for a little over 6k (after promos and discounts) that checked all the boxes except for having USB ports for charging. So now I'm patiently waiting for it to get delivered. Last I checked it's been picked up already. I can't wait argh.

✱ My stomach has been hurting for two days now I don't know why. Last thing I ate before this was Behrouz' Chicken Biryani, and that was really good so if I may have caught something from that, well, no regrets lol. It's weird cos my tummy hurts but I don't feel like pooping haha it's uncomfortable but it doesn't hurt so much, maybe a 5/10. It sucks cos the pain level doesn't merit a sick leave, but the discomfort makes me want to just lie down the whole day. Hay.

✱ I smell like siomai

✱ Looks like my manager isn't coming in to the office today. Maybe I can squeeze in some reading time to get back on track with Surrounded by Idiots. I'm so close to not finishing it as it's not as interesting as I thought it would be. It's merely an elaboration of the four temperaments; sanguine, choleric, melancholic, phlegmatic, color coded into red, yellow, blue, and green respectively so it's easier to remember and attribute to people. So far it's been okay. Nothing mind-blowing. All I know is I'm most likely a combination of green and blue. Usually quiet, reserved, agreeable to a fault, with lots of inner turmoil lol. That's me pretty much. Still, I wanna get over this quickly so I can jump in to a novel. I need a story. This book is boring.

✱ My other blog, www.surfandperf.com is blocked in this machine (my work laptop) for being "suspicious" and I don't know why. I've already enabled https but it's still the same so I have no idea what's wrong. I may have to look at the add-ons and the bunch of js gibberish and remove anything remotely suspicious. Usually it's the outdated link references, but I wonder why even my empty blogs are restricted argh. I'm bummed because that's where all of my work notes are, in article format so it would suck big time to be denied access to it. Would be awkward to request for my own blog to be unblocked here haha. On the plus side, this one is accessible so I'm okay. At least I have an outlet.

✱ Hope I don't forget to bring home the samosas I kept in the ref earlier. Got them from Assad Mini Mart, just right behind the office. I would love to look around more inside but I couldn't risk smelling like masala when I get back to the office. The store smells very strongly of Indian spices and while that's heavenly for me, it may not be the case to the people around me haha. Sucks.

✱ I wonder when they'll credit my first paycheck. Is it on the day itself or a bit advanced? lol. Been refreshing the banking app ad nauseum and it's only the 13th hahaha. Well, it's already the 13th! Super spoiled at White & Case where they'd credit our paychecks at least two days early, sometimes even a week before, for unknown reasons. And on the rare times it falls on the dot, we all lose our minds haha.

One to ten

13:15

It's day 5 in my new job. I've met some of my teammates, attended some meetings, and submitted everything that's required of me hoping I didn't miss anything. I'm not doing much yet. Understandably. 

I'm the only one present in this lane (so far). One of my teammates is sick, the other is remote, and my manager only comes in once a week. I'm trying to make myself as comfortable as possible given the seat sharing policy in this office. It's hard. Not having a place of your own lol. Although our team has a designated area and I've been sticking around in this cube for the past few days, it's not like I own it and can personalize it according to my very specific workstation preferences haha. I couldn't even adjust the monitors because who knows if I still have this desk tomorrow? I was advised to get a locker so I did. Unfortunately it sits on a different floor because there are no vacant ones on this level.
 

17:49

I wanted to setup my new locker immediately so I walked to MC Depot earlier this afternoon to buy a padlock. Maps says it's only a 550m walk from here; mostly flat. Of course it didn't mention the numerous stoplights I have to wait for and the scorching midday BGC heat that threaten to burn through my darkest sins. It was so fucking hot. And I only walked for ten minutes! Maps says eight, but given my short legs therefore small strides, ten's about fair. 

Approaching the depot felt like nearing an oasis. I'm almost there, almost half the battle. It should be cold there. I stepped into the warehouse and thanked God for the shade. But where's the cold. Fucking hell. There's no airconditioning in this place. Fucking hell. Might as well get over this as quickly as possible. I was sweating profusely the whole time I was picking a lock (pun intended) and lining up at cashier. Thankfully there's an industrial fan by the counter that brought temporary relief to this agonizing quest. I thought MC Depot caters to a certain demographic, being at BGC lol, but it doesn't even have airconditioning. How anti-rich.

Should've bought a hanky. Beats me why I have to do this so early in my shift (see title). Should've done it now, in the afternoon, as the sun sets, where I wouldn't melt into a puddle of tinted sunscreen.

Well at least it's done now and I don't have to carry my headset, mouse, mechanical keyboard, and tumbler from now on every time I come to the office. Yey.

I wonder if I can go about my entire shift not talking to anyone. I have a seatmate now. The area is starting to fill up with people.

I'm worried about my backpay. I haven't received news on whether I can buy out the two monitors I was supposed to return on my last day. Our local IT says there's a high chance I can buy it out, but I haven't heard anything. If it can be bought out I should have received a salary deduction form already. Otherwise, they would've told me to return it. The longer this goes unsettled the longer it will take for my clearance to get routed to completion. Argh. And we're stinking poor already. 

I should get a banh mi. And Vietnamese coffee. Hope they accept card cos I'm so fucking poor right now.

19:03

They don't.

My laptop spacebar is doing an annoying squeaking sound. I kept my mechanical keyboard in favor of a more silent option because uhm I feel like my pretentious typing is gonna tick some people off. Who's this newbie who doesn't even have anything on her plate yet and yet types like she's resolving a P1 incident lol.

I badly want to go on an Ikea shopping spree. The mobile app is buggy and I can't add items to the cart. Somehow it gets deleted so it's no use using it as a wishlist of some sort. I want a taller shoe cabinet, frames, a fake plant, an uplighter, and a storage box. Also some meatballs.

Update on my monitors. I have to return them to the office. Damn. Here I thought I could buy them out. They were very good monitors. VESA compliant, has HDMI, DisplayPort, and tons of USB ports for charging. I'm looking online for similar monitors and they're so damn expensive. Should I bite into this second hand Dell monitor that's exactly what I need? It sells for only 5k but is probably hit and miss with the quality. Most reviews are good but I don't wanna risk ending up with a spotty screen as I'm gonna use it as my main monitor.

19:57

I just checked out a VESA mount and a laptop stand. 

20:31

I really don't know what to do. I think I could work from home tomorrow if none of my teammates are coming in to the office. At least I could get up early and try to go to Megamall to probably buy a new monitor. Now I'm excited. 

I shouldn't have completed the mandatory training yesterday. I should've chopped the modules to bits so I'm not left with absolutely nothing to do on a day where there are a lot of people around me (who are probably wondering if I'm an equal opportunity hire on account of my inability to speak [and socialize]). It's hard to pretend you're doing something productive. I've scrolled through the code of conduct, re-read the welcome email a hundred times, but I really can't do much without admin access. Once I get my admin access I can pretend to look busy again installing stuff and reading Confluence articles. 

21:15

Wow I think I can survive an entire shift without talking to anyone woah. You can tell by the length of this brain dump how badly this asocial animal needs an outlet. It's not like I didn't utter a single word in the past eight hours. I did talk, you know, to the guards. And the staff at Family Mart and Banh Mi Kitchen where I bought dinner. That counts as social interaction right? I'm not totally mute the entire day.

Clock is ticking and I can't fucking wait to get home and pack up my two monitors and drive them back to my old office. My old office. My beloved old office. Hay. Did I make the right choice moving here? 

We'll see on the payslip haha. But for now, let me regret leaving my beautiful motorized standing desk at White & Case. I miss my old office.

21:54

I've brought some of my stuff to my locker and also took a walk outside around the building. Just to pass time. And yet here I am still waiting to clock out. Just a few minutes more before I punch out of our timetracker that, according to my manager, nobody really checks cos we're on an honesty system around here. Still, I have to show some integrity right? At least on my first six months, kidding. Haha.

22:05

Hallelujah I'm going home!