fallacy

aaaaahhh ok.


sometimes people let suffering penetrate their lives because it's the only thing that keeps them company when no one else is there. they blindly and desperately grasp anything within reach, and hold on, like their lives depend on it...even though it is painful, even if they know it will kill them in the process. after all, that's all they've got. to suffer is the easiest option, the nearest hole they could hide into. and even if it gives them a false sense of hope, they will let it pass because those who say 'let go and move on' are only there to tell them what to do, but not stay until the pain is gone.


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that's unfair though. because the hole who got yourself into, can fit only one person. and we're here outside, waiting for you to crawl out on your own. now i'm on the 2nd person POV. haha really, now.

currently at mcdo, global city waiting for daddy. yeheeey! i finally have Art of Motion! >:D >:D and because the battery's dying, magbabasa na lang ako ng libro. hehe >:P bye for now.

i thought i was on hiatus?

well, scratch that! i have never been successful in any of my hiatus attempts. HAHA ang arte arte naman. o yan i'm back after a miserable two days. the reason why i went on a (fail) hiatus, is too personal, too sensitive and is something i'm trying to avoid talking about especially here! i've never opened this up to anyone (well, like... just one person pa lang haha) and i want to keep it that way because every time i talk about it, i become over emotional and end up crying. so sorry to those who were asking. aaah siguro after a few years (or months) i'll post something about it.

i'm glad it's friday cos i can finally sleep without having to worry about anything for the next day. you know what, because of that frakking 'personal' issue, i crammed studying all of my exams. concentration fail! the filitwo exam was hard! but i studied naman... err kinda. my thursday exams were probably the best cos they were all easy! the dastrc exam was super ayos, i finished earliest cos i need to study for the next exam pa. luckily, we got a leakage. call us evil, but that's how it goes in college. i was so relieved when we were given a copy of the exact questions present in the rizal exam. whew!

however, the exams awhile ago didn't go too well. i think i'm gonna fail the eng3 midterm exams. crap. and the 4thglan exam was crazy. so much for 20 pesos worth of handouts, none of the answers were there! the programming part was easy though.

awhile ago at work i was sooooo sleepy i kept on going in and out of the bathroom just to catch sleep! then when i get back to typing, my head isn't working. there was a time when i almost started dreaming and when i woke up i've typed in a lot of gibberish already. i remember the word, 'shower'. wow, i wonder if i'll be able to type my dreams unconsciously when i get extremely sleepy while blogging. hahaha

you know what sucks? i was 93% done on a 64MB file i was downloading awhile ago then i got disconnected! and there's just no frakking way to resume broken downloads without getting it corrupted. i was downloading Andy McKee's album Art of Motion cos he's such an awesome fingerstyle guitarist. i'm in love with Rylynn! i get the same feeling with Yiruma's River Flows in You. nakakaiyak naman eh.

minsan ang sarap umiyak e no? T___T;

brb

HIATUS

who knows. :|

@_@

AYOKO NAAAAAA!!! >:((((((((((((((((((((((

ideal guy! :D

i found this in my private journal... dated august 2009

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What is your ideal guy?

Because you said ideal, I won’t hold back. I want a guy who has at least an above average IQ but is not a genius. I want smart kids with social lives! Wahahaha. Well, actually I just want someone whom I can talk to with sense especially about life hahaha. Physically, I want a good looking guy. Someone way taller than I am, but it doesn’t really matter cos I don’t always give justice to that certain preference. Someone who engages in at least one physical sport, except sumo wrestling. Someone who appreciates classical music and piano concertos. Hahaha Someone who plays an instrument other than the guitar cos it’s too generic. Piano? Violin? Sax? Hohoho  Someone mature. Someone who doesn’t nag whether I’ve eaten already, surely I’m responsible enough not to starve myself. Someone whom I can trust. Someone whom I can bring to Church every Sunday. A believer of tithing. Someone who accepts my short nails and my nailbiting habit. Someone who accepts my ugly feet and my small hands. Someone who criticizes my writing, my singing and my drawing. Someone honest. Someone who isn’t putting up with me just to earn my favor. Someone who tolerates my mood swings (I hardly have mood swings anyway). Someone whom I can talk to about weird stuff, about my weird dreams and my novel ideas. Someone who reads books. Someone who appreciates art. Someone who tolerates my extreme indulgence in colored pens and ballpens. Someone who understands how I spend with gadgets and art materials. Someone who appreciates my wardrobe. Someone who doesn’t care if I’ve worn the same pants for 2 or 3 consecutive days already. Someone who understands that I like expensive coffee. Someone who likes coffee. Someone whom I can go backpacking around the world with. Someone who eats vegetables and burong mustasa. Someone who accepts that I’m at my ugliest when I’ve just woken up in the morning.


Demanding! But really, I don’t buy the opposites attract thing, I want someone close to my kind. Actually, just someone whom I can talk to about anything is cool. 

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and after 6 months, the specs still hold true.

ready :)

ah, now i know why i'm afraid. because i don't know what it is. it's the fear of the unknown that keeps me from exploring further. and now, now that i finally know how it feels and what it means, i can finally say i'm ready! yehey! i'm ready to take risks! :) but for now i'll just keep on waiting. :)

this afternoon, i cried. again, for the 6th time, for the same reason. it sure feels liberating the more i get used to it, you know, crying it all out, looking like a complete waste in front of my cheeseburger... and my friend. so tomorrow, i promise not to cry again for the same reason. the more i think about it, the more i feel hopeless.

i feel fake acting normal when i'm burdened like this. what can i do? i've never encountered this before. >:\

don't ask why nga pala. cos i won't tell. hohoho

and so i'll wait. :)

hahaha oks!

ready to take risks.