the clouds have left

you know awhile ago, i guess it was already breaking dawn, i went to our rooftop and sat on the garden chair to read. i'm halfway through Almost Heaven though i still am not hooked enough like i was with Whitney My Love. i looked up and just marveled on the vast expanse of dispersed cotton on a blue canvas. then i saw Fantasia hovering above me, her face without any detail, her arms streched to her sides, her bottom part misting like a ghost. i stared at it for awhile, anxious that i couldn't get our banig which is ideal for activities such as this because my parents are sleeping on it in the confines of their room (i was like, err, have you ever heard of a bed?). when i got a handful of shots registered in my brain, i leveled my head down to resume reading.

you know i'm talking about clouds.

then the sky turned bluish-pink. Fantasia has gone, moved a great deal to my west, her enchanting form morphing into an indistinguishable cotton mess. i have the wind to blame for that. the sky is a sweet marshmallow, slowly darkening into an orange expanse. the sun finally set, though the roofdeck isn't facing that way, i got it covered from the window on the opposite side.

then it was time to leave.

my bookmark barely left a few pages, but i was glad i got to go cloud gazing. at that time, my head is filled with various thoughts. they're really bothersome, but at least i get to set my mind on it, even for a while.

i was actually looking for a place to read, but the sky took most of my attention instead.

my darkest days

literally. hehehe
thanks kim! hihihi, this was taken during one of my swimming days at the university pool. kim took shots of me while swimming because she needed a moving subject for one of her homeworks. yey! i'm glad to finally see them. though there's really no guarantee that i'm the one in those pics, haha, why don't you see how dark those arms are and tell if it's not me. bwahehehe

aw. thanks so much kimmy. T___T; those are my first pictures taken using an slr camera. hehehehe ♥

discovery suites :)

i wasn't planning on staying for the night but since nobody's going home, i was convinced to stay, without any change of clothes and stuff. hahaha, but i got by! WE got by! :)

it was soooo fun! XP i thought they're staying at shang but they moved to discovery so i followed them there. hahaha, i seriously think we could all live together. for good. hahahahaha

we bought chips, canned goods, bread, pancit canton, iced tea and lots of vodka cruiser. we cooked, we watched, we drank, and got ourselves wasted. i only got myself a little bit wasted! but i know someone who uhh, wasted herself completely *winks*. it's a brilliant thing we caught it on video *winkwink* now all we have to is wait till it gets to youtube *winkwinkwink*

haaaaay. i had fun! yeah, thanks so much for the experience KA! and to my beloved friends whom i spent the glorious night with (ka,nez,michi,karlita,larz,carla)...i love you!

and to my dear dear friends who weren't there (hannah,jami,martha,ding,lau,kim)... you missed a LOOOOOTTTT! haahahahaha XD

hehe, sa uulitin. :D

hallejuaaaah...?

i'm so happy right now and nothing, NOTHING, can ruin my mood (valid only this day). i'll see to it that i'll be extra cheerful with life, particularly today. :)

i got 19 units at last!!! and i got chem32! although i'm still not sure what to feel towards taking that blasted subject this sem, it makes good sense to take it as challenge. i'm excited and scared at the same time. :)

and later, after doing the things i ought to do first, i'll be hanging out with my friends at edsa shang. well, i missed them and i had to convince my mom -biiiig time- to let me go because i have *sniff* colds and it might rain hard. i have money problems but i'm not really worried on spending too much, i can always have fun with them without minding the budget constraint because admit it or not, gimmick days sorely depends on the money. hahaha but that's not in my case, hardly ever.

news!news! i accepted another offer to beta my fic, hopefully it'll come out nicely because i haven't heard from the one i talked to last time to beta my work. and i don't wanna bother her anymore because i think she's already forgotten about it. last time she said she's already done and she's just searching for the file in her hdisk (but quite honestly i think she lost it). she should be gravely responsible for abandoning that work. hmm...

more so...

i feel rather odd. giddy, over something uncertain. i don't knoooow, i hardly swoon over edward cullen these days so why the fluttery feeling? i feel like i have a crush on someone I CAN'T PIN POINT EXACTLY, this is funny.

soulmate search part II

i was in 2nd year highschool when i first bought the silly superstition about the vox beetle counting. do you remember that? you count 50 beetle cars and you take note the color of the 50th car you find. then whoever asks you about the time wearing the same color is your 'soulmate', per se.

during the first time i did it, the 50th car i saw is color blue and is parked in front of a bungalow somewhere in BF subdivision. i was walking to my friend's house that day. and you know, days after... someone did ask me about the time. and it also happened that this person is wearing blue. can you believe it? it was pretty weird, blue shirt, blue shorts and freakin blue slippers. how could it get anymore credible than that?

it could've been good, already. problem is, that person is a GIRL. whaaaattt?!?!? and we're not really close, though i call her by her nickname because that's how she introduced herself to me. we were schoolmates and she's a batch older than i am. wtf, really. it's silly on my part to expect meeting my soulmate in the most uncompromising environment. in an exclusive catholic school. and with that, i discarded the thought to oblivion, also trying to calm myself because i'm getting paranoid about it. i shouldn't have counted 50 fckn volkswagen beetles like it's the key to my nonexistent love life. i am not a lesbian, huhuhuhuhu.

LOL those were the days, aye? i was so scared of considering the gruesome possibities that i may actually be more attracted to girls than guys, sht that is so abnormal. but honestly, friends, during those years, i really preferred girls. i can still remember my stupid obsession over shane mccrutcheon of 'the L word'. haha, minus points! good thing i went to college. it's all about straightening my hormones, yeah.

but whoever said that your soulmate has to be part of the opposite sex? it's not like you're destined to marry each other. yuck. it's a shame i only realized that now.

and so, i vowed one day to repeat the process. and i did. and earlier this day when we're driving to batangas, i saw the 50th car -- according to my mental tally-sheet which could still prove to be unreliable because when i saw car #51, then #52, 53 and 54.. my brain went berserk!! is my counting right? didn't i miss a number or something? what if car #50 should really be car #51 or #49 [basing on the possible errors i may have committed in counting]

I WOn'T BE ABLE TO FIND MY SOULMAAAATE! why are there so many effin beetles in the philippines?!?! why didn't i just close my eyes and ignore the streets when we've ran past the 50th car?!?! dmmtdmtt

:)even so, i won't reveal the color (or colors, HOMG!) yet hahaha. let 'fate' conspire, or whatever it is that needs to. :D hehehe

oh, i don't even have a watch yet hahaha

PS. i know this (my bragging about looking for a soulmate) is utterly ridiculous. i, myself think so. haha, but because it could prove to be fun and is one heck of a stupid story (which i'm good at narrating), it's always worth a cover.

dear Lord.

still no progress with my systemone account. i'm still 1 unit below the normal student load. and i still have 2 pending subjects on waitlist and i'm #1 on both of them?!?! how come nobody cancels his slot yet?!? fckdmmt! i need I.T. yaaah. that frkn information technology shiz. i need it to get at least 17 units. i'm not counting on the other subject anymore, which is chem32, because i doubt anyone would cancel his slot there. >___>; well if all else fails, then i have to prerog!!! i don't even know how to, dmmt, i have to pay another trip to elbi just for that. >___>;; at least my sister's with me, she has to prerog on a thesis subject even though she already has 18 units. hohoho


heeey, is it just me or i'm actually receiving committee updates from the org? if i'm not mistaken, because their msgs aren't really personalized, i'm part of the financial committee. hay. not that i don't want to. i'm guess i'm too lazy for its demands, however, i remember during our reporting period that i always wanted to be part of the fincom, and now that i'm one... should i feel giddy? >__>;; haha, i don't know. fine, i'm fincom. time to pay my fees. hohoho

honestly though. and i'm sorry if one of my orgmates gets to read this one. now that kat's going on LOA, i don't think i could face the org with much enthusiasm (not that i'm showing enough enthusiasm before). she's like, my best friend, my ever companion. i can't do without her. i don't really have a lot of close friends. canyoubelieveit?!? i'm getting beneath the social ladder with i'm with the org. i'm not very friendly, really. and i hate it that i became batch leader because generally i hate responsibilities that involves working around with people i'm not close to. hahaha, i feel so alien. anyway. i'll just do my part. to hell with my insecurities. just don't don't take away my weekends pretty please!

pretty dull

i'm bored. though i finally have a list of things to do (fix my bed, wash the dishes, cook dinner etc), i'm not in the least bit enthused. our maid just left, she wasn't even here for a month and she left already! how.dare.her.

lol. i'm not even angry, if that's how i should feel. i'm more bored than angry to bother about it. or maybe i should bother myself with it to alleviate the boredom.
sheeesh. i hope my uncle fetches in a new maid before the end of the day. haha, ang spoiled. but really, when i washed the dishes awhile ago i realized how messy she truly is. i can even clean better, though i won't hold it as an enough ground to quit hiring maids. haha sure, there were times i think i scared her (and she told me so). but that's all unintentional, i was just joking hahaha. i'm really nice to her. wtdfck. lol, that's not the ultimate reason why she left naman eh so i don't care. haha. yeah, i don't care. diba, i could just write a single sentence saying our maid left pero i went as far as lengthening it to a paragraph or so. hahahaha.

i wish i could go outside and chill but i don't have money. i want to go to shang tomorrow with my friends but i don't have money haha and who's gonna take care of the house? not that it needs some taking care of but whatebburr.

my sister's kinda mad at me for being the next bride. ohyesiknowwhy, she envies me for 'stealing' her crush. like i care? can't you see, he's probably more than 10 years our senior. though i doubt i looked 10 years younger than he is. wouldn'tgiveadamnreally.

i hate looking older than i actually am. here are some of the instances i ultimately abhor.

• 1st year higschool - i was 11 by then, and my friend's little brother thought i'm already in COLLEGE


• 1st year college - i was 16! i'm batch 2006 but people never believe i am, the oldest people mistake me for is batch 2004. whatanunforgivablecomment.


• just this summer (still in college)- oh remember the PM classes? my only classmate thought i'm already in my 20's when i'm barely 18. whatcanido? he's 28!


• oh i get this every time - i look older than my sister. but it's okay cos i also act older (and i'm taller too haha), so that's a little compensation. i've come to accept this perception already because, heck, this is something i must live with everyday.

hehehe. XP
I WANNA GO TO SHAAAAANNNNGGGGG WITH MY FRIENDS!!!!