oh my blog

hahaha. hello anime!
i'm enjoying reading slam dunk and prince of tennis doujins! yehey. haha. i miss Senru! wahahaha. oh my, i wish i were back in highschool where i can openly converse with my friends about my new found obsession. back then it wouldn't sound so taboo to talk about bishounens and senru and yaoi... but now.... only this blog understands.

dear blog. (wtf? i'm now talking to my blog) i'm so grateful you came into my life. you're the reason why i could keep a lot of things untold. you contain a lot of things i prefer unheard. you've been tolerant to my pointless ramblings and childish tantrums. you've been with me through thick and thin. you never leave me. you're always there. ready to listen. you know all my crushes even though i keep them in *tooots* and ____ most of the time. there's a time i had to put you down but i realized i can't just leave these scornful things unpublished. you're my portal to a different world. you opened me to the world of html. because i don't want to see you in your default state, i was pushed to create a unique layout just for you. it takes me hours just to adorn you with the best i could manage. and look, all your previous clothes were dumped on the rummage sale for other people to use. see for yourself how you've grown and how i've grown as well.

awwww. i'm just so proud that i'm still actively blogging for 3 years! 3 years of pure indistinguishable gibberish!! cheeeerrrs to us mr. blog (now he's a MR)

^_______________________,^;;

hotaru no mori!

*sniff* *sniff* what a sad love story. i totally love it.

download it here
the title is Hotaru No Mori under One Shots and Extras.
mehn. i'm so inspired to turn it into a harryXdraco! yeah.

ah. that's a manga/comics. hehe. i suggest you don't download anything else aside from that because as far as i'm concerned, everything else is a slash/boyxboy/yaoi thing so i'm afraid you'll freak out. haha. unless, like me, you favor slash. haha.

hotaru no mori is a hetero paired manga. haha. weee. it's rare that i liked hetero paired comics. waheehehee.

now i'm reading a doujin of 'tennis no ohjisama'. wahahahaaaa.

stalking your crush on the net

to tell you honestly, i've been in this nasty business for about some time now especially when i heard of some google search options you could do to narrow down your research.

you probably know this already. heh.

if you want to get more information about your crush, aside from asking people (and asking him personally as well)... it's also nice to know what the world wide web says about him. if your crush doesn't have a public blog (like mine), has his friendster account set to private (like mine), and doesn't usually go around the net (like mine. lol), you have to rely on other sources. like his friends. BUT if you don't want to talk his friends into giving you infos about him because... hello? it's too obvious, you can stalk them as well. and because you're too shy to hide behind the lampost and secretly take notes about them while they eat... well, you've got the ever reliable internet to depend on.

bwahahaha. i'm so pathetic for even sharing this to you!
so first of all you have to know your crush's name. what a loser if you only know his first name. you should now his 2nd name (if there's any) and most importantly his surname. hahaha. so, like me, if you want to stay safe and learn more about him in a discreet manner that only you and the 'history' of your internet explorer browser knows... here's how.

pagsisisihan ko ba 'to?

ah basta eto lang yon: in Google, enclose your search string with quotations to get more specific search feeds. for example, "ryan agoncillo" ♥ google will only show you links that mention those words. yeah. cool, huh. try vanity searching to see how many websites actually contain your name on it.

problema na nga lang kung
a) maraming kapangalan ang crush nyo eg. Juan Dela Cruz, mga Santos, Dizon... blah
-if this happens, try his nick+surname.
b) or... super walang alam ang web tungkol sa kanya. whaaaat?

hahaha. the point is, even though your crush doesn't own anything publicly displayed on the web for you to marvel on, there're always websites that will somehow (one way or another) mention him. LIKE HIS FRIEND'S BLOG. CLASS SITES. FORUMS. (i found them all. hooraaah.)

believe me. actually, right now i'm looking at some of his highschool-mates blogs.

mehn. would you believe meeeeee???? i'm this desperate to know hiiimmmm? but all we share are stolen stares and innocent glances that only I acknowledge as signs of something 'good' brewing. girls are normally like that - a casual glance is a largely ambiguous term. he knows i exist because he thinks i have a crush on him. which is true, everybody (almost) does anyway. and it makes me jealous thinking that he's only interested (not even) in me because i'm one of those junk of bitches who fell for him.

lol. i'm so interested with him.

ps: i'm just lucky that he has a unique nickname. made my research easier. lol

yeah right

waw! uno ako sa PE1. hello? wala namang nakakatres dun eh! if i know lahat naman kami di bababa sa dos. haha. magkaganunman. hah! at least may uno! perstaym! kahit na hindi counted sa grades. hahahaha. sayang naman. sana kasi binibilang ang PE1... may lecture din naman yun eh. grrrrr.... minsan lang ako maka-uno yung hindi pa counted. edi sana kahit pano tataas GWA ko. huhuhuhuhuhu. anubanamanyan.

uh! hindi nakuha ni july class card ko sa math! dapat talaga personally. sayang. nevermind na nga. di ko na makukuha yon kahit kailaaaaaaaan. ayoko na bumalik sa elbi! i'm not interested with my math grades. >.< i'm (still) worried with chem! woooot! sana pumasa. walang kamatayang kahihiyan ang haharapin ko kung sakaling mag-repeat ako! oh shame.

shame.

shane. awww... shaaaaaannnneeee!!!! shaaaannneee (on me)!!!!!

hahaha weird. uuuuuyyy, ngayon lang ulit ako nag taglish. haha. mas ok to. mas weird. i mean, i know my english is somewhat weird... pero ewan. hahaha. ganun. wala ako natutunan sa eng1, maliban sa...

a) wag magpabuntis habang nasa kolehiyo
b) wag mag bartender kasi pang pokpok un (wtf talaga!)
c) always cut your yellow paper with scissors. wag dilaan at punitin. sinko yun.

eto ang pinakaproductive na natutunan ko sa eng1.

..kung pano gumamit ng post office.

as in yun old school way of delivering mails. ang kyut tingnan ng envelope na may stamps. weeeeeeee....

eng1 has never been of great help to me. hahaha.. sa totoo lang. sobrang dumbfounded ako sa finals hindi nya tinuro yung sentence compression. good thing, a good classmate sort of lectured us before the finals toook place. ayon. bullseye! yun na yun ang test na binigay.

hay ewan.

warning

for the good of this blog and your viewing pleasure as well, please don't open this blogsite in firefox or any other browser except for Internet Explorer 7. i'm afraid it'll look trashed and messy and skrewed and ugly and...etc. i'll fix it later when i finally have a firefox. for the meantime...

haha. new layout. i like the header! wee.. i think it's cute. ahahaha. i'm not really good in photoshop. and just like before i coded this thing using notepad. anyhow. i'll probably do some changes with the position and stuff to make it look a bit more presentable in other browsers. there's really something retarded with the way i work with css. grrr.

finally. we have unlimited internet access! yeah. it's not dsl, as much as i'd love to, but a cheaper and slower version that charges only 400 a month for a maximum of 48kbps. i can bear with that. it's not like i'm not used to it anyway. =)

yey. i'm finally going to watch 300! next week, wednesday, sm north, with mika! hoooooooorah.

conformity is bitch

i want to change this layout.

finally done with the finals. what a relief. the chem16 finals was... err... like what i said in math, it was so-so. steady lang. i think it was easier. 210 points. before passing my paper i tabulated all the correct answers that i'm confident i got right and it reached beyond passing score. i was glad. really glad but after the test when i inquired it with my friends, we all have different answers. what the hell? i don't know what's right and wrong anymore. either way, it wouldn't kill to repeat.

what an irony. among all the subjects i took since i was a kid, chem16 is the only subject i learned the most from. yes, i love what i have learned and what a shame that from all the things i learned and could be boastful of, there's a big chance i'd end up repeating the blasted subject. what a big loser. i thought i was smart enough, but i guess i slacked-off too much. wait. scratch that. i didn't slack-off! i poured my every braincell into understanding the concepts that goes along with chem but why are my efforts - the sleepless nights, the nervous breakdowns and this forming mental illness - still inversely proportional to my grades?

mehn. it's too early to say things like that. but either way, pass or fail... i'm not going to lose it. i'm fine with repeating actually. but i'm better off taking 17 this summer. duh.

this day:

before going home as usual i dropped by SM megamall. i left my backpack in the package counter and headed to St. Francis Square. it was a damn long walk, every now and then i stop on my tracks to see if i can jaywalk along the barred aisles because the heat is killing me, much more, the heat is like supplying me with extra melanin. i don't need that! i'm dark enough. no, i'm too dark already. but my conscience prevailed, i mean, my ego (in psych terms the ego is the executive and chief mediator of the personality. the most rational part of our beings) took charge. and so i walked the extra mile to reach my destination. but before that, i saw Chateau 1771. it reminded me of our prosec field trip and the yummy chicken fillet. which led to me realizing that the Podium is just... there.

i entered podium and instantly got bored. much more, i felt like a 3rd class citizen living in a classic Philippine shanty. is there anything i'm holding now that would make me feel like an upperclass socialite? ah. i have my earphones stuck in my ears, they're white so it looks like i have an ipod when in fact i have a smaller, cheaper thing. i easily dismissed the thought and tried to look around in hopes of finding something worthwhile. nothing (aside from starbucks).

i hate myself when i go to places like podium or rockwell (or anywhere expensive). it makes me feel inferior about myself. everywhere i look, i see high profile people (or so i thought). it makes me wish for a lot of things like, i wish i were whiter, i wish i have smooth legs and shaved eyebrows, i wish i have that bag you're holding now instead of this cheap bag with the words 'accident and health' written in big boldfaced letters. i wish i look like a rich teenager. i'm becoming a social climber. that's why i avoid those places unless i'm wearing my best and my wallet is stuffed with lotsa moolahs. T_T; i'm incredibly pathetic i want to kill myself.

my self esteem is way below the average.
and because i hate what i'm thinking and feeling at that time, i decided to indulge on coffee. where else? i bought a venti mocha frappe. it's big and expensive and it gives you instant status hike. admit it, starbucks has become a status symbol. even if you're wearing your worst, as long as you're sipping through that trademark green straw, you're away from the people's negative prejudgment. but in my case, you can't just take away coffee from my lifestyle so please understand that i drink because i crave.

i'm totally hating my attitude.
which is why after getting my order, i headed directly to St. Francis square to buy dvd's. The L Word is everywhere and they have until season 4!! but i held back, thinking that i'm being selfish and evil if buy it because... hello? i can't just invite my parents to watch lesbian porn! and i don't like watching alone so i figured i just have to buy 300. at least i could watch it with my dad. =) good girl.

then i went back to megamall. i bought some vanity stuff, mostly whitening goods, because unlike other people who want to get tan this summer, i want to get fairer. just fairer. not really that white. hahaha. i'm so vain. hahaha.

ps: i saw raymart santiago in the podium awhile ago. starstrucked? not even. if it were ryan agoncillo, i'll instantly dismiss the fact that i look like a 3rd class thingy and get a picture with him... using my sucker of a cam phone that takes a century to load. XP

1 down, 2 to go!

at last! done with the math17 finals!! my golly, if they only have exemptions then i wouldn't have faced the dread of sitting on a chair and sweating hard for 2 freakin hours! i believe i lost more braincells than i could have earned by thinking a lot. grrr...

hmm. the test was err.. so-so. steady lang. i mean, i'm a big idiot for not studying earlier. our prof gave our 5th unit exam as a TAKE HOME and mehn, that take home exam took the whole of my weekend. i wasn't able to rationalize well by then that's why i didn't notice that i didn't have enough time to study my notebook cover to cover. our exam started at 2pm and i was only able to study by 12:30! oh well, at least i got some problems right. i also guessed a lot during the multiple choice. hehe. bahala na.

ok. tomorrow is the end of all my miserieeeeessss! 10am to 12noon i'll be having my eng1 finals. i'll study later. then at 4-6pm....

*insert annoying drumroll here*

chem16!!!! (same thing, study later. you know me)

*insert loud boo's - much better, throw tin cans, crumpled papers, rotten tomatoes and please include your chemistry notebooks and your reduction-potential tables as well*

after dealing with those stupid required final exams, i can now do my philo paper due on wednesday. i should've done it over the weekend but i forgot to bring my philosophical analysis book and the guidelines for making the paper at home. what an idiot.

oh well. after wednesday... i'm all free! yes, as in i don't have to do anything else, no more forced studying and all those junk. but on the dull side...
i can't leave til friday afternoon because our math prof required us to get our standings on that day. grrr. boooooooo.

and on the day before that, our PE1 class cards are out as well. hm, i'll just have someone get it for me.

my head really hurts, i need some.... ice cream.