// this day was pretty tiring! church then lunch then circle with my cousins to celebrate my tita's birthday! yeyyyy! haha lots of kainan and harutan specially with angel, ang nagdadalagang echoserang froglet

// my kyot kyot pamangkins >X3

// daddy will be leaving for thailand on wednesday and he'll stay there for a week so i'm pretty much daddyless for awhile huhu. >:'3

// i'm so excited for tuesday, and as usual, friday!

// Lord Lord Lord, let this week be a good one. >XD Amen yeyy

ambagal ng oras grarrr

I don't understand most of the things they make me do here, but I'm hopeful that one day I'll get used to it all and uhm, yeah, learn everyting. They're right, the deadly jitters will soon fade away, but in my case, not completely. HAHA I'm like still in the process of discovering my worth as a "programmer". Most of the time, I think about quitting and studying multimedia/graphic arts instead ...and it doesn't sound so bad! in fact it excites me. Maybe it's the thought of studying something you know you'll actually like and improve a hell lot on that makes me so enthusiastic about it.

Maybe one day, when I've gathered enough guts and money to pursue that which I love, I'll venture into the arts department wholly. When I was in LB, it took me 3 years to realize I didn't like chemical engineering so at that time, everything else sounded better. Which is probably why I decided to take computer science. First it's not chem. eng, and next... well IT'S NOT CHEM ENG!!! haha Besides two of my housemates were CS studs so that probably influenced me. And yknow that time, I was like at a phase where I thought chem. eng was the worst (and hardest) course ever so anything which is not it, is probably tolerable. Even agriculture and veterinary medicine sounded better and more likeable to me.

long story short, it took me a looooooot of freaking time (and money) to realize what my real strengths are, and up to now, i'm not doing anything about it.

Time seems to be running so slow. I want to go home badly. Like BADLY. The weather is freaking bad outside, and we were just notified that we could leave early cos of the weather (undertime) but of course that's bawas sweldo so, really, no thanks. >:S I'll be in until 6pm cos I was late! Freaking rain…

Looord Looord antagal talaga ng oras. huhuhu ayoko po magcode. err. >:S

drama

and i thought eventually i'd get used to myself mentally whining about resigning everyday,but it seems like the dread is back on the loop. what i want others to understand is that i'm a fkn clean slate, employee with absolutely no knowledge on the prerequisites of her job. student who probably didn't learn anything substantial from school. i don't C, i don't Java, i don't UNIX, i don't Perl. i'm trying to learn all those while struggling to keep my self-esteem intact.

every day i wonder what kind of sorcery happened that they hired me. my exam was a flop, seriously. i drew a non-standard flowchart for a problem that requires java codes. and i only finished 1 problem out of the required 3 in a pool of 7. no, i don't probably need more pep talking. i'm well aware that i'm not cut out for this job, for this world, for this company. it was probably a mistake they hired me, and i'm suffocating from the pressure i inflicted on myself.

chos!

that was a note i created two days ago, supposed to send it to this blog but thought it could well sit for awhile (until now shempre). haha

right now, i'm tying to renew my hopes that everything will be better eventually. why, i'm a freaking worrywart. and i get easily discouraged. >:P uhm, my boss kinda helped lessen my worries though, and jeanne too. oh and also trish as she quoted a very inspiring conversation she had with the HR.

haha

really now

huh anlabo. last month, i took the exam at accenture for ASE and FAILED. yeah, i blogged about it. i waited extra hours for the result and when my patience gave in, i decided to just leave and wait for their confirmation through email. it arrived that same day, and it says 'we regret to inform you blah blah blah...'

but just now, i received a text message from them, telling me to pass a copy of my TOR and updated resume tomorrow b/w 10-4pm. ikindof can't understand what's happening kasi uhm. i dunno, mejo confused pa ko sa smart eh. hehe yes this is a more convenient opportunity, i just don't know what to do. hay.

we'll see.
naguluhan tuloy ako lalo.

goodbye wave, goodbye w510

in an attempt to finally pay off all my debts (all meaning the grad fee i borrowed from the fund), i had to sell my phone and digicam. it cost more than i needed to be debt free but the remaining money i shall use to purchase a new and better phone! i'm eyeing on the samsung galaxy y duos because from now on i have to maintain two lines (sun and smart, for personal and corporate use respectively). >XD

i'll be digicamless for a while until i have saved enough money for a kodak easyshare m200. specs say it's smaller and more compact, cheaper and blah. also, it's kodak and even though i think the brand's quite dying already, i have so much regard for kodak cams because it takes quality pictures. yeah. seriously. no annoying pixels. >XD

hmm on another thought, i haven't told my parents i sold those two gadgets. well, i have every command of the wave cos i bought it from my salary as a student assistant. but the digicam, hmm, well mom paid it through credit card and i paid her monthly for it, but err. hope that counts.

i'm excited to go home and clear aaaaaaall my frakking debts! i'm also excited to see if i'll be able to access this desktop remotely from home.

lesson learned this morning, i'll never ever take the bus to work ever and ever again. even if i think it's still very early to be caught in traffic, eventually the streets will be flooded and i'll regret i ever took the cool and tempting bus to Ayala, exchanging coolness and comfort for tardiness. >:'( in short, i was late (again!), 46 minutes to exact! well yeah, we have semi-flexi time here but it's not cool for a probationary employee to be changing work scheds every now and then. >XS

stand by till 6:30! >XD

blogging from work

for the short (who knows) meantime that my computer doesn't have internet access yet. i may blog though my email account from time to time. LOL
and this is just a test to see if it works. >:)


-------------------------------------
Arianne Grace C. Birog (Yan)
IT - Operation Support Systems
Smart Communications, Inc.
0918-6727-627

This communication is intended solely for the use of the addressee and authorized recipients. It may contain confidential or legally privileged information and is subject to the conditions in http://smart.com.ph/corporate/disclaimer.

lugmok!

here we go again. like usual, i'm a total odd ball at meetings, i couldn't keep up with the terms and the entire thing just blew my head off! i understood a bit (like 1/10 of the entire agenda) about the whole project but i can't imagine how to execute that. codes yknow. java know. i die nao. when i came back to my desk i was so lugmok, actually thinking of resigning and calling pointwest if we can still discuss about their job offer after i declined a month ago. i mean, i was thinking maybe they also have a +2k basic pay increase for high flyers (urgh. yeah roight), that would really mean a lot. it's like, 2 days of actual work at smart and here i am thinking i'm better off locked for 3 years at pointwest. hahaha >XS i totally missed the importance of what pointwest said where it doesn't matter if you don't know anything because they will provide you with complete training. training, yeah. that's what i'm kindof looking for. i miss the classroom. hayy.

anyway. a bit of pep talk with my colleagues jeanne and janine, and i kindof felt a little better. though you know, who knows.