trust God

have faith! >:'(

the punishment

i feel like dying of depression. ang sakit, ang sakit sa dibdib. one of the best things i've ever wanted for myself is to graduate with (the highest) honors. emphasis on "the highest". if i'm not on the top, parang err dibale na wag na lang. i won't get any bragging rights for only being 2nd or 3rd best. but oh well. tadhana nga naman. mukang hindi yata para sakin ang karangalang iyon. i'm not getting a laude. i want to cry. soooo bad. it feels like everything i've worked so hard for has been burnt to the bones. parang, teka lang. panira kasi UPLB. sobrang paniraaaa. then again, sinong sumira? k fine! ako na! grrrr napaka-stupid ko naman para i-assume na they wouldn't include my UPLB grades in my GWA (well that's what some prof told me kasi so ako naman tong si confirm!), para san nga naman ang credit evaluation diba.

maybe i need some time, space, coffee and a punching bag to get over this super emotional downturn. yung totoo, excited ako umakyat sa stage eh. sobra. kaso. hay. and alam nyo yun, sobrang ang daming nag-eexpect, pati ako ang laki ng expectations ko pero. ugh. wala eh. wala talaga eh. 

ngayon lang naman ako naging kampante eh. kasi isa na lang kelangan kong pagpaguran pero kahit na ibuhos ko pa 100% ko dito sa huling laban na to, talo na ko to begin with. i wish i had known earlier! whew. hay Lord. buti na lang bibigyan mo ko ng pera bukas.

and i'm not expecting anyone to fully understand how hard it is for me to accept this "failure". maliban na lang kung kasing ambisyosa ko kayo. hay blog. i need to learn how to be thankful for whatever i've achieved so far. i may not have reached my goal but i've left enough foot prints to prove how far i've gone.

to-do to-dohan list na sa isip ko'y di maalis

Dean's List Awarding

• food stubs
• list
• post
• seat plan
• program
• canteen
• certificates
• frames/paper
• invitation
• sir john
• technical
• laptop/projector
• national anthem
• invocation
• bg sounds

Yearbook

• post 1,500
• post dates to remember
• update letter (add faculty pics)
• letter from icon adviser
• letter for ads
• letter for messages from dept heads, dean, pres
• rex pub update

ICON

• election

THESIS

• thesis

So much to do, so little coffee!

proud daughter! >XD

here at makati shang for mommy's awarding, it's a yearly thing the whole family is always looking forward to! free hotel accommodation and best of all, complimentary buffet breakfast! that means free EAT ALL YOU CAN at HEAT! i don't even know how cool that restaurant is, but since it's inside a 5 star hotel, maybe it's some kind of a Spiral at Sofitel. lol who cares, i can't wait to eat! Hihihi

i'm so lucky that we get to experience such things! this is luxury night and i want to enjoy it but terai is down with mommy where the party is and i want to swim and eat and blaaaah but i figured, i could just enjoy the night by... watching Gossip Girl S02 or by doing thesis *chokes*

uggh, nevermind! GG time! >XD

sample profile page for the yearbook

>XD i'm kinda proud of this!

that is a sample profile page i created last night so we could show our batchmates something to look forward to for the yearbook during the grad briefing awhile ago! i'm pretty pleased with the feedback, all of them seem so supportive! i hope they'll be able to extend their support financially as well! hahaha

errrr

// not a finger put on thesis today. i suddenly got carried away (yet again and again) photoshopping announcements, scrolling through 9gag*, and just yearbooking instead of thesising (not that there's any cool progress with either but errrr). i'm totally missing out on the more important things to do.... like take a bath?

// wow. longest time i spent in the basement this week haha. >:|

* - i know some people feel bitter that 9gag is becoming mainstream JUST because they feel like they were the first ones to discover it. oh well you were the ones who shared 9gag to us so don't fret like we've just robbed you of the charter status. if anything, just look for a potentially better 9gag, be a loser and keep it yourself.

// i feel so FREAKING LAX! what the hell are we gonna show mam garcia this saturday? for the nth time, i'm not doing anything. lol

// i feel so freaking irresponsible lately, academics wise. before, i keep on pushing myself to do my best but now i just want to PASS thesis and focus on the yearbook. yeah right. and start earning and buy a kickass laptop hehe

// for now i have to, uhm, i dunno. start thesis maybe? haha

blood gone

yesterday, i donated 350 ml of blood for a church activity. looks like i've gone a bit too unhealthy since the last time i donated (early 2011, feb or april). my blood was too viscous (or malapot basta yun) that it took so long to fill the bag, there were times it stopped flowing cos it already clotted. so yeah, look at the bruises. i was freaking worried (deep inside), about the state of my blood. and also about the fact that i kindof donated useless blood. which is why i'll do my best to go back to the 2 liters of water/day habit that i lost after 2 weeks of herbal medication (and after snyder's jalapeno went off the shelves of rustans). haaay what can i do, i can't stop stuffing on junk food! huhu >XO

yearbook yearbook yearbook. what i need is an assurance that 100 people will pay. i really want to push through this, more than the happiness it would bring me to do the layout hahaha, it's one thing to prove the higher batches that we're not like them. we're not just gonna bend to an administration that cuts you off when you start talking money. i've been bottling up my grievances about stuff at school because it's rude to just rant and rave publicly, specially that i'm expected to act nice and agreeable ALL THE TIME. >:| haaaay

for the record, my sister's yearbook (CEM  Batch 2009) has only around 150 pages and more or less 120 pages of those are profiles of graduates from their college. that's UPLB, home of the not so rich kids, and they were able to pay off for the yearbook. if only people would realize that this is not a useless cause. it's a freakin memorabilia of your college lives! come on, if i could only reach through the parents to give their kids money for the yearbook haha.