the plunge

everything from here on is downhill! i knew it would eat me alive, the amount of load i so boastfully accepted. see now? nasa huli talaga ang pagsisisi. let's just hope i don't get myself into a mess with the higher-ups with the remaining months i have to endure at school. stop me, Lord. stop me. i'm always complaining! but fuck the system. really, fuck the system. it's probably only because i'm at the bottom that i get to point my finger at people and blame them for my demise. i know i have no one else to blame but myself... for getting entangled in so many things at once: icon, cbs, studies, love... it screwed me. and it screwed me real good. not to mention that i probably didn't even act like a decent president. hi pride.

but come on, i totally have no idea how to cheer myself up. i've been awfully depressed since i saw my grades and every day, it gets worse. i dun even know why. it just gets worse! too much nega vibes. and it doesn't help that i'm back to 0 hours with my OJT since i quit fandom hahaha. anyhow. i've shelled out so much money just applying for jobs. i just want to get somewhere near and with allowance LOL.

oh btw. when i posted this, "it's easy to fall in love when you have nothing to lose" on fb, i didn't mean it the romantic way. i meant it the other way around. it's hard for me to decide on this because so much will be affected. which is why i envy those who could love with no limits. but i wonder about the kind of lives they live and kindof concluded that, oh that explains it. kindof but not quite. hehe

hey. i told myself not to engage in trouble because this year is so crucial for me but awhile ago i was so freaking enraged. i almost cried. seriously. why? they suddenly abolished SPECIAL CLASSES and replaced it with something exponentially more expensive. immediately and without prior notice at that. i dunno. i bet the heads weren't even briefed properly about it. on what grounds is it legal to implement a policy amendment IMMEDIATELY like, after a trimester? can't it wait a schoolyear? where were the announcements? sorry but this is bullcrap. i am so affected, even if i'm least likely to suffer about this. thing is, loads of hopeful graduates will not be able to march this coming may just because they cannot afford to enroll in a class that requires them to pay 15 times more. someone shed some light on this issue. pero wait, trabaho ko yata to e.

sana man lang may student dialogue or student representation na nagaganap every time may iaammend silang major policy sa palakaran ng administrasyon. eto nanaman ako. puro reklamo sa blog. yoko mabadshot sa taas eh, may mga pangarap pa ko. >:|

ate lisa's wedding

Congrats to ate lisa and kuya christian! >:D the family's getting bigger, i can't believe we were just kids pestering our uncles for mint bills before. now everyone has grown up and is leaving singlehood one by one! >XD i almost cried at the ceremony. almost but not quite! ate lisa was sooooo stunning, so is kuya christian! hahaha i just realized how beautiful weddings are! the ceremony, the people, THE FOOD bwahahaha. everything is symbolic of love! sarap mabuhay pag may minamahal! >:D


anyway! this morning was stressful to the bones. there were so many things i forgot to do and delegate. then we lost our thesis stuff which basically contains our GRADESSS. then yesterday i lost my purse! there're 2 usbs there, 900 cash and my samsung earphones my goodness. and recently i just keep on forgetting important stuff. and i know it has something to do with my health deteriorating! sleeping late robs my brain of neurons i need to function rationally and intelligently.

hahaha Lord, i dunno if you're cool that i believe in karma or that universal balance of good and evil junk hahahaha. i think not?! hahaha but i can't help thinking if this is what it takes to have a love life! HAHAHAHA over e diba?! if this much bad is happening to me, THEN, i might be holding something really great right now that i'm being allowed to experience misfortunes like this hahahahahaha. you know, the universe demands balance! can't be unceasingly happy!

thank you Lord because i found two incredibly important things today! jec's nyan cat drawing and my samsung usb cord! >XO i've been looking for the drawing all over the place (or my room) since last month pa nga eh, flipping pages of the heaps of books and notebooks in my shelf in case i inserted it somewhere cos i remember i was actually hiding it cos daddy might barge into the room and boom! hahaha then i recalled that i brought it with me to iloilo and baaaam, i found it on the suitcase i used then! >:D then yknow i was decluttering my room and saw on the floor, a familiar sight... my samsung usb cord!!!! >XD whattttaaa blessing! HAHAHA and here i go again, thinking about the things i may have done right during the day enough for me find two lost things at once. HAHAHA wrong thinking, you think? haha

the only good deed i remember doing was when i accompanied an umbrella-less woman to her office at ortigas while crossing to robinsons yesterday cos the rain was pretty mad that night. and that's like a daily kebs deed duuuh cos everyone would do the same thing. anyhow. robinsons galeria is not cool, for the reason that i lost my purse there diba hahahaha and i'm never a fan of gale cos transportation to fairview is hellish! terai and i had to walk all the friggin way to megamall just to catch a decent bus without engaging in a stampede. haaay. mega's still the beeest!

i'm excited to go back to UP again just to food trip! >XO hope it doesn't rain on monday!!! choco-banana shake i miiiiisss you already!!!

ah! i'm worried cos recently i've been losing craploads of money and btw, smartbro just billed me for the month! how do i cope? i'm jobless for the entire year with no sidelines! unless they decide to still hire me after OJT but then i kinda want to rest the entire year off eh? but hello money! don't fly awaaaayyy.

oraaayt i'm sleepy! goood night fellas! >:D

coming sooooon! >8D

chococat!!!

i'm gonna search sanrio all over for this BWAHAHAHA. it took me an hour to decide! hello kitty ba o keroppi or chococat but i picked him for the following reasons; it's cute! and it's black so it won't look obviously dirty over time hahahaha and mommy said i have to replace my bed mates already and donate my other stuffed toys. either that or she's throwing them away. huhu. this is all peachy's fault, she introduced me to sanrio! black cats are lucky pa nga daw eh. shemay na-excite ako hihihihi >XD goodbye baks!

so pwede na ko siguro mag-aral no? bwaha

BTW, blogger changed their interface! it's neater and very much like the Preview (Dense) theme from GMail. Obviously Google's aiming for 1 minimalist look haha and it's pretty cool! >:D

bakit ganon.

i feel like my mental capacity is deteriorating graaaavely over time, or most specially this trimester. sobrang. sabog. e. and for the nth time, i failed to remove the to-do curse from this blog. i was only able to accomplish 1 out of the many tasks i wrote previously. HAHA yoko na tuloy! look it's almost 1am and i haven't started anything! okay okay. eto na po.

me mga bagay na ano e. ewan parang di ako palagay. bakit ganun. hahaha. dami iniisip. paranoid kasi. dibale. disappointments are part of growing up. bat ganoooon!!! arg. kkkkkkk.

where's the rush?

i still believe this blog is a bit cursed such that if i put a to-do list here, chances are none of them are getting done anytime soon HAHA. but in an effort to fight the, uhm, curse...

1. study for profeth

gather notes from people who has them and engage in a serious power memory session later

2. study for opesys

survey people on what they think is the real COVERAGE for the exam tomorrow. no one knows legit shizzzz

3. write 3 reaction papers

one about the socncul field trip

one about contraceptives

one about The Net starring Sandra bullock, which i am yet to research on

4. pray that this crushing (not the happy crush) feeling will end like, NOW NA! arghhhh what. insecurity kills! assurance is all we need! but.

5. write an intent letter for my last assignment as a student assistant. >XO

okay! time to //study

Circle of Lights!

// i don't remember when this was but it's one of my favorite nights! >:D the entire family went to qc memorial circle to, ano ba, exercise? more like food trip! grabeeee the fountain and monument lights were so awesome, even my low def phone cam was able to capture it decently. that's how awesome it is. we haven't been to Circle for a looong time so it was surprising how it has changed so much and became more beautiful! yehey! and grabe the food, they're everywhere! terai and i totally marveled at it! ice cream! corn! isaw! lugaw! buko juice! it's a really super duper quality cheap place!

// random plug: Papa John's will open on SM Fairview on August 31, 2011! YEHEY for a more accessible Pizza Margarita!!! >XD

// by the way! i haven't been able to blog so much because uhm, nahihiya ako! WAHAHAHAHA for the past few days or weeks i only wanted to blog about one thing (plus a few street shots) but i can't. anyway. i'm in love! yun lang! and i'm happy! who's not when they are? it's cool when it's two-way! thank you Lord!

// so far, with the way school is going, i have to double my effort on accounting and thesis! fuuuudge. tsk. whew. >XO

// wow. ever since this semester started, i have lagged way toooo far behind my reading list that i'm actually considering (YET AGAIN) selling my books! i probably have like 10+ pending books to read and more than a hundred newsletters stacked in my inbox. my Paulo Coelho and Bo Sanchez labels on gmail are filled with unread mails when before, as soon as i receive em, i read em and file em! ugh. it sucks cos i know i'm not the most organized person and then suddenly i accept jobs like wonder woman.

// my anime watch list hasn't grown since vampire knight cos i'm out of good hetero recommendations! hahaha

// sometimes i wonder if i have to limit my happiness cos it may turn into bad karma in a snap and put me in sorrow next! Lord, wag naman! >XO

// next problem, OJT! where to work? who to work with? i so badly want to work someplace i'll ACTUALLY LEARN and at the same time be with my friends! options Lord!

// another problem, and it's the biggest. i'll be jobless for the entire year starting second tri!!! >XO which means i'm out of funds to pay the internet bill! >XO work work, i need to freaking wooooork! >XO

scholastic wreck

wow i'm in such a pit. whoever among my multipolar consciences told me it's okay to handle this much load could die now. and i'm serious. i'm flunking like crazy. here's how and imma break it down per subject

philhis - i could probably get a fairly high grade in this but definitely not a 4.00. too much memorization involved and my last quiz sucked, plus my attendance has already been tarnished with tardiness! argh. imma teacher's pet here but i don't think it's gonna pay off. too strict.

socncul - my quizzes sucked but i managed to get exempted from the finals which is a good thing. but my freakin quizzes are a wreck. i'm also looking forward to my being a teacher's pet to pay off, hopefully!

acctg1b - this is totally hopeless. my quizzes and exams are all faring below 90 in average. iyak nako.

english4 - i'll do whatever it takes to ace this one. this isn't a very problematic subject but it's something i have to focus dead on into so as to make sure it'll help raise my average at least! huhu

arintel - no problem. except for this ultra chever expert system we're asked to create as a project. freakin clueless!

opesys - the project!!! c++ what?! 

thesis1 - biggest hurdle of all hurdles in a track field. i'm preparing my eyes for saturday cos i know (as usual!!!) i'm gonna cry!!!! bwahahaha

profeth - no problem? maintain!

HAHAHAHAHA so after all, i'm exaggerating. but you see, in thesis1 and accounting, FOR SURE, i wouldn't get anything higher than 3. so Lord, let it be 2.75 at least. please? and socncul too, no greater than an already disappointing 3.25, promise.

i swear i'm going to cry if i lose my full scholarship. and i'm gonna lock myself in my room and avoid my friends and everyone. i'm gonna live like a hermit and leave everything behind. imma leave ICON, CBS, FCLC and SAship. and. just. die.

weh joke lang. arte arte kasi e no. me pa blog blog pa, pwede naman kasi gawin yung project muna diba? HAHAHAHA

wanna bet pakbet? it's joketime bwahahahaha.

hindi ako si darna.