what's wrong. idealists. the visionaries of a false future. i don't get them sometimes. i hate people who plan too much and screw up and forget everything. times are tough, you can never be sure of what's gonna happen, except death and tribulation. you have to be practical. you have to see what's ahead with eagle eyes, not with starry logic and clouded vision. i'm kindofa realist so i don't buy future plans too much, unless you talk about insurance and financial investments. whatever happens, happens. it's talkshiz when it screws off so it's hard to put your hopes up too much. i just don't understand what kind of faith they have or how their mind works. haha i need to be explained to. lol
Archives
Monday, July 25, 2011
fudgery (aka kaartehan)
i don't know what's worse, posting crap about someone in blind items publicly, or telling crap about someone specifically behind their backs (or behind them, depends if you think behind their backs is actually their front). hmm. when it all comes down to it, every one's a bitch when they're angry. and well, for the lack of real friends or for the love of words, my anger is often vented into cyberspace; in my blog, in my tweets, in my statuses. and now that they don't seem to be doing me any good, i'm becoming desperate for another outlet. i look back to the old people in my life and hesitate because they've all distanced away from me, either that or i've become too wary that they might be too busy to hear me out or something. ang pathetic e no. my friends would totally hate me for this fudgery.
it's unfair to call myself alone. i know there are people out there who are willing to listen to me but well, the choice is not theirs. i can't just pick any friend to confide with. my world has gotten smaller. every little thing i do gets noticed. i am subject to every scrutinizing pair of eyes. the pressure is freaking me out. this isn't another crap load of assumptions i made to put the spotlight on myself. i could totally break anytime. and people would think i'm still being self-centered.
it sucks cos i have to limit myself to this blog. i've probably become too self reliant to ever consider other people's help. i never thought people would hate me for this. seriously. fuuudge. here i was breaking out of mediocrity and people think i'm being too big. the trust i was so hopeful of digging out fell 6 more feet under. this is hopeless. i feel annoyed. and betrayed for the nth freaking time.
and i'm afraid that one day you'll discover all this shit and leave. it's takes a heart to accept things which cannot be changed, no matter how good the intentions are.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
watda.
wrong move. super wrong move. perhaps you didn't realize the danger of what you just showed me. seriously, i'm not one to talk cos i'm not one to know in the first place. but. argh. been in tears for a while now. can't handle the truth, apparently. can't trust anyone. period. and i guess no one can convince me out of this, not even you.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Day 30 - Your Highs and Lows of this Month
July high - WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
July low - i can't seem to run out of things to do and think about. >XO
natapos din. half-assedly but the what the heck. >:)
this has been a very interesting month for me so far. except for thesis. which is the least bit interesting. >:|
July low - i can't seem to run out of things to do and think about. >XO
natapos din. half-assedly but the what the heck. >:)
this has been a very interesting month for me so far. except for thesis. which is the least bit interesting. >:|
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Day 29 - Goals for the next 30 days
My ultimate goal is to do well in ICON week and give just requital to my grades who just took a nosedive to hell.
sometimes i wonder if all of this happened because of too much curiosity and crap. sometimes i regret ever screwing with the timing, the plans and everything. Lord, what do you say in all of this? cos seriously, it's taking up a lot of my brain. >XO i don't usually worry about things like this because the lack of formality gives me literally no reason to assume further, and besides, they say i'm kinda dense and won't take an action for a hint. it was cool until 20 years later.
another thing.
i'm sleepy and i'm having a hard time accepting that there is in fact loads of work for me to do. tons of photoshopping and reading and writing and reviewing. blah.
sometimes i wonder if all of this happened because of too much curiosity and crap. sometimes i regret ever screwing with the timing, the plans and everything. Lord, what do you say in all of this? cos seriously, it's taking up a lot of my brain. >XO i don't usually worry about things like this because the lack of formality gives me literally no reason to assume further, and besides, they say i'm kinda dense and won't take an action for a hint. it was cool until 20 years later.
another thing.
i'm sleepy and i'm having a hard time accepting that there is in fact loads of work for me to do. tons of photoshopping and reading and writing and reviewing. blah.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Day 28 - Something that you miss
afternoon naps. definitely.
who would've thought i'd get some sensible input from one of the most unlikely guys ever. seriously! he's turning into one of my closest and it's a crazy big breather. thank you Lord.
who would've thought i'd get some sensible input from one of the most unlikely guys ever. seriously! he's turning into one of my closest and it's a crazy big breather. thank you Lord.
Love versus In Love
i've read this before but failed to note it. now i'm reposting it from tumblr because this is exactly how i see it.
“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”
Louis de Bernières (Captain Corelli’s Mandolin)
and yet most people think they're in it for the long haul without realizing they're still in the superficial "in love" stage. anyway, enonaman. osabagay mags-subside naman talaga sya eventually as the relationship progresses, and that's where you have to decide whether you're truly in it for the endless lug. paka old fashioned e no, parang walang patutunguhan yung mga ganitong pananaw. pero totoo yan a!
“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”
Louis de Bernières (Captain Corelli’s Mandolin)
and yet most people think they're in it for the long haul without realizing they're still in the superficial "in love" stage. anyway, enonaman. osabagay mags-subside naman talaga sya eventually as the relationship progresses, and that's where you have to decide whether you're truly in it for the endless lug. paka old fashioned e no, parang walang patutunguhan yung mga ganitong pananaw. pero totoo yan a!