jam legeeeeennnddd >XD

it's the perfect distraction, probably the devil's advocate for making sure i do nothing productive at all. i'm jammin in the insane level and still honing ma skills so i can be legendareh in no time! bwahaha! i'm pretty caffeinated right now, plus i got around 4 hours of siesta awhile ago so i'm alive as heaven! >XD

this gotta stop but i don't want to! i only have one thing lined up today, and that's to do some kickin subnettin. then i hafta cook somethin up to make this project look believable like crazy. ugh. i dunno. times are getting harder. i'm supposed to be payin the bills today but i'm broke as hell and i only have enough to pay for 1 statement. and i have 2. so uhm. hmm.

donate? >XD
or just gimme a job! not online tho. >:(


my mom and i quarreled over my summer working plans. i have it! i have my resume (in mind hehe)! and i'm pretty impressed at it! one year and i've earned so much to brag about. i'm about to distribute it to uhm, places where i can get a decent summer day job but she doesn't want me. says i'm wasting my youth tryna earn money like i have no parents who can support me.

truth is, it's not about bein an adult and all. i'm just too materialistic, earth-bound, and prideful and i dun wanna bother my parents with things i don't need (in a parents' perspective), say a laptop, a decent cellphone, a mp3 player, a set of sharpies, kurecolor, flats etc etc etc. so i figured i have to earn money for these luhoSSSS. >:)

naaah, they just want me to go to driving school. haha haynako kung alam nyo na lang kung gano ko kagusto matuto magdrive pero natatakot ako kasi nerbyosa nga ako. nasstress ako pag me biglang sumusulpot na kung ano, like speeding cars, honking buses, and motorcycles, EVEN WHEN I'M NOT THE ONE DRIVING. gives me heeeelll yeah.

ok back to jam legend! >XD

mango float!

for future reference cos i keep on forgetting the proportions! >:D

a tray is usually equal to *properly chilled(2 packs of nestle all purpose cream + 1 can of daisy condensed milk) + 1 pack of graham crackers.

* - freezer for an hour! >:D
otherwise, uhm... plus 1 cream plus 0.5 condensed.

okokokokokokokok
noted!

bloody crap

do you know how hard it is for me to write an article? first of all, it's not like blogging where i can spontaneously dump ideas and not give a crap. i have to research, sit down for hours, get a point and mind map. i also can't write without a dictionary software and internet. writing is sooo damn hard and time consuming for me, and i wanna know how it goes to other people. how fast can you write? say, 500 words about hair loss solutions? how fast can you paraphrase? lol i feel so inferior in this field. i mean, ever since they learned i can write... they gave me a load of things to write about. argh e wala lang, just ranting! writing is extreme mental labor for me and i don't think i can ever get used to it. but did you know that i wanted to become a writer before? i also wanted to be a broadcast journalist! a news anchor! a voice actor! ok, enough about my frustrations.

me narealize ako, my forte is in the arts (for once i'll try sounding all confident about this) but because i'm not pursuing it, it becomes a frustration. you don't want your forte to become a frustration just because you're academically constraint. but that's what's happening eh so for now i'll enjoy this frustration. someday i'll work on it haha.

but for now, RESEARCH MOWDDD.

kelangan lang talaga maging understanding para maiwasan ang pagiging judgmental. minsan gusto kong mag AB psychology eh para mas marationalize ko tong mga ganitong bagay kaso naisip ko, mas maganda yung ikaw mismo ang nakakabatid ng mga bagay bagay without theory. hehe masaya sya. >:D hohoho

madami pang kelangan ayusin but at least we're inching closer it. >:)

this is getting frustrating

so i was doing my rounds at the lab and i came into a bit (kindof but not really haha) of realization.... that the most important thing i learned from resigning from the library is to NEVER BRING YOUR PROBLEMS TO PEOPLE YOU KNOW COULD NOT HELP.

if you have a problem and you want it solved, talk to the people who could help you. specially to the person involved, or just the nearest person you could afford to get involved. sometimes people say they only want someone to listen to them, but come on. that's IMPOSSIBLE. i mean, yeah people will listen but at the back of their heads they'll have their own say about it, so at least get ready for some unsolicited input, which can't be helped. and you gotta be thankful for this, cos at least you know your friend's doin some brainwork analyzing your crap.

those who listen will either


a) agree to you, to how grave your situation is, how you're such a victim in all of it, how you don't deserve that kinda crap, blah blah blah that's the easiest way to deal with ranting/sharing friends. AGREE TO EVERYTHING THEY SAY. or better yet, add up to it, if only to make your friend feel better! share your own experiences about it! they need to let it out after all, and it's a flattering thing to be the "chosen" one, yafeel trustworthy with that ayt? that's one, make your friend feel he made the right choice of coming to you for a breather.

but yknow, if you agree to much nothing will get solved. for example (and from personal experience too! bwaha), you hate a person and you share it to your friends and you find other people who hate the same person... what happens is that you form an anti-*insert name here* fan base and you bash the person every time you meet. eventually you feel good hating the person. do not share your problems for personal gratification.

b) agree then advise. just take note once you've given advice, give your entire thinking into it and show how you came to that advice, pull out an entire manuscript of your perfectly impartial psychoanalysis to back yourself up, cos once you lay it down, YOU'RE INVOLVED.

most of the time people prefer the a) way. nobody wants uncalled-for comments, if you see the person is still hot off the grill, a) is the best way. you don't wanna mess with the temper, specially if you gonna advice something that will make your friend seem at fault too. yknow. problematic people are the protagonists. YOU HAVE TO HELP THEM. they have to emerge the winner.

i know how frustrating it is not to be able to let out your problems. BUT if you think it's just gonna get messier, then by all means, keep the rant to yourself, to your blog, to your art, to your music... unless you want it fixed.

//end rant (uhh yes that's my rant)

ay ewan. nakaka-frustrate lang! parang kanina i was crying at school kasi badtrip na badtrip ako tapos i saw a friend sa labas tas gusto ko lang tumabi at umiyak kaso sabi ko, may klase pa ko, chaka ano naman sasabihin ko? wala naman akong masasabing maganda. chaka me solusyon naman na. so ayon nag-CR na lang ako at nagpatuyo ng mata. kainisssssss. >:\

PS: siguro God is watching over me. on the last two times i tried to smoke, burilyaso lagi. nung una, muntik mahuli ni bossing. tapos awhile ago, nakasabay ko maglakad si Diane! Diane! holy Diane! i mean, that's someone from our bible study group. >:\ argh. the cigs were ardy in my pocket yknow.

too much bullshit

to what lengths do you have to tell people how terribly you hate someone? does it have to reach 10 people? 20? the whole world? where is the sensitivity? where is the hope for reconciliation? when everyday you involve people who aren't supposed to know in the first place?


you don't do that to friends. you just don't. at least if you want to keep the friendship. if.

now everyday we're faking it. everyday we're troubled. everyday we don't know what to do. who to tell things to. who to trust and who to hang out with. everyday we start over. same lies, same crap.

this friendship is getting worse by the minute.

and seriously, it's hard to just talk to anyone about it because everyone's freakin biased, polluted, untrustworthy. and people just end up agreeing to it. NO ONE WANTS TO HELP. everyone wants to get back at someone. people listen because it's a certified "scoop". the crap gets thicker and thicker.


bat di na lang kasi ayusin?
puro na lang paninira.

EDITED TO ADD: and it's not about who's at fault here. it's not about who started doing shit and whatnot. not because you didn't do anything, means you shouldn't do anything. i mean, everybody does nothing and still gets hated. if you really want to work things out, you'll humble yourself and talk it over. personally.

Breakfast @ Spiral

complimentary breakfast for two at Spiral Restaurant, Sofitel last Saturday. shared this eat all you can buffet with terai HAHA because mommy and daddy are on a "healthy" diet. bwahaha i traded my morning class for this but it's all worth it. the food mehn! >:D

thank you mommy for bringing us here again, and for granting us compli breakfasts every year for like 10 years already hehe! i love you and congrats for being, finaaalleeeeh, a lifetime MDRT member! >XD you worked hard for it and you deserve it! yehey!

so what's cool with this is that on top of the breakfast, we get a free hotel accommodation. that means free pool, sauna, jacuzzi, gym, (shampooconditionersabonshowergeltootbrushtootpastepencilstationerysewingkit), AND CABLED TV. bwahahaha

on the food. yak ang arte! rume-review! e kasi i remember 3 years ago, lumamon ako dito! pero ngayon parang hindi ko na trip lahat! dati kaya one plate per cuisine! e ilang stations yon, mga more than 5 hahahaha ngayon, uhm, lugi akoooo!!!! ang naenjoy ko lang ay etong platong ito chaka yung coco crunch. ewan ko ba! gutom naman ako! >:\

platong ito

plate 1 of 4 ni terai

sooo ipinuslit ko na lang sina mommy ng isang platong mixed pastries HAHA i dunno if we're allowed to bring food upstairs but based on their 360 degrees camerasss, i figured it would be an embarrassing thing to be caught doing it so we looked for a "well-positioned" table and bagged the entire plate of breadssss. i mean, ang squatter ba? but daddy brought me muffins before when he ate at Spiral! >:D feeling ko ok lang naman.

noightmeyer

terai was reading her horoscope and it was bad. she was in her room, and i was there doing some ironing. she looked desperate and frustrated and was in the verge of violently throwing things out of anger. then she calls out to the freakin newspaper... something like "what do i have to do to blah blah blah?!?!??!!!" then there's a freakin voice who responded, "do you really want to know?" in a deep manly voice i could assume was the devil. then it whispered something to terai, something like "SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR MOM AND KILL YOURSELF".

and then terai was freaking heading to mommy and i was like alarmed and crying like crazy so i raced to mommy as well haha parang, "MAAAAAA!!!!" sabay iyak! then idk what happened next basta next thing i know i was chasing terai upstairs and was still crying like baboy cos i freakin don't want her to kill her freaking self, then she went to her room and i was like "NOOOOOOOOOO!!! *don't lock the doooooor*"

well, she didn't. and i was like "HUHUHU TERAI PAGUSAPAN NATIN TOOOOO"
then i woke up sniffing and crying. alam nyo yung mega iyak with matching sinok pa. nakakainissss. kaparanoid lang eh so i texted terai. e wala lang.

okasi diba ansarap syumesta ng hindi nagdadasal. >:\