killing me softly

will donate blood later!

hey i dreamt about jc and jen. in my dream, jc has already graduated and became a science teacher. i was chatting with him and jen got mad. argh nagselos daw. so they kinda left me. we were at sm megamall cinema section, about to donate books. ayon. i brought a lot of books with me and i have to register them one by one, book by book, including the ISBN's what the heeeell hassle. anyway, they have this automated book registering machine, and there i was... about to donate a pile of pocket books. >:O

wala lang. i dunno. significance please?

i'm back to xp pro sp2 bangketa version. i was finally able to install SQL Server 2005... thanks to the hotfix! but there's still a bug, i realized that if i installed it using a password protected administrator account, every time i log in the BSOD will appear and the PC will restart. anyhow, when it did and i was taken back to the login screen, i logged on to my sister's account (admin, no password) and got in. then i was able to use the software with ease and blah. so i kindof thought that if i disable the password, i'll be able to log in on my account without the friggin bitch screen of doom.

and it worked.
so. what was this problem all about? at first i was confident it was sortofa setup issue, after all the hotfix worked like magic. but still, you know, i got a BSOD on a password protected admin account. so what gives?

k.whatev! at least it doesn't reboot ad infinitum! and i can use XP!
fine.fine. gotta get ready to lose half a litter of blood!

yey! >XD LOL
why am i excited to donate blood.

5 minutes

1. walking to her with open arms
2. a year of longing etched in a half smile
3. her heart leapt as he inched closer
4. she ran to his embrace and cried
5. failing to contain her happiness
6. head buried in his chest, she drowned in his scent
7. nostalgia
8. he hugged her tighter
9. took her hand for a kiss
10. but she pulled away

the memory is too vivid. the emotion too strong. i have no idea why she pulled back. i'm sure she wanted that
kiss. he was about to give it to her. i don't understand.
why i'm holding back too much. >:\

if i must consult with sir Sigmund, i would've gotten an interpretation about my frustrations. and i must admit, i'm a slave for my dreams.

there's another one. i play as a mistress of this rich old dirty man who's you know, dirty. i stole something from him and hid it in my orange backpack. next thing i know, he's checking on em, so i put it in another bag. i put the unidentified stolen item on Chamel's backpack, and asked her to leave immediately. rich DOM noticed i was doing something fishy and walked to us. we panicked so we both ran away! haha

anurawyown?

e kasi, bata ♥

eeeehh, pagbigyan!

utter negligence >:[

i dunno how i'm going to pull this off. i have 3 quizzes tomorrow and i only got, like, 6-- hours to study for all of them. anyway, that's not gonna stop me from blogging. see i kindof brought back Live Junk out of the grave cos i don't feel tikwasin anymore LOL and people actually read it as tikwa-sin which means to trip something over... kindof. haha that's not the operational meaning of the title so to hell with it. >:\

hmm. i had a quick power nap awhile ago and woke up friggin alarmed cos is already dark and i still have to study tons of junk. i walked groggily to the counter downstairs to have some coffee but the box is freakin empty. nakaka-stress sobra. where's coffee when you need it? it's a staple for me so i can't run out of it.

my favorites:
3. jimm's 7-in-1 instant coffee. pinaka accessible. hindi matapang pero malakas. >:D
2. pior (previously gano coffee). we order this from our neighbor and i like it better than jimm's. >:) matapang. malakas. masaya! >:D >:D >:D
1. organo mocha. direct sales, hirap orderin. >:| parang pior. parang langit. abot langit din ang presyo amp. haha

ayoko ng:
any variant of nescafe 3-in-1. kadiri yung pait nya, parang gamot yak. errr

sige po Lord, mag-aaral na po ako. good morning! >:D

WOW. there exists a Philippine Memory Team????

i wanted to be part of any Philippine team but thought that my athletic skills are below average. i can swim but i can't race LOL and although our PE teacher encouraged us (me and my group cos we won in our mini compet) to train for varsity 10 lbs ago, i discarded the thought because i thought they only accept fast swimmers. and i was never one. i totally missed the 'training' part. which i sorely regret. i could've been faster. i could've been part of a team! i've always wanted to be part of a team. >___<; that's my super frustration in life.

however, this Philippine Memory Team intrigued me to the core. i've always known about the detrimental effects of ageing with an inactive mind ie. dying of alzheimer's, which is why i try to read as much as i could to prevent thy precious neurons from hibernating, or worse, deteriorating (cos i read somewhere that neurons cannot be replenished. and it fucking scared me). it's the least i can do to make my brain work. recently i haven't been engaging myself in any proactive mental activities aside from school (which bores me sometimes) so i'm pretty much, errr, bored. mentally. if you exclude the amount of brain i use for cyber-stalking my crushes and voodoo cursing their bitches (mentally)... yeah, my mind is somewhat unoccupied.

i want to be mentally active. i really do. ever since i learned about this visualization-association and phonetics techniques, memorization doesn't scare me as much. i want to learn moooorrreee!

are there FREE workshops on this?!?!?

so you know, i kinda researched on the team and found myself subscribing to this world memory competition thingy. when i got the confirmation email, i swear i felt dejavu-ed! i've dreamt about this email, about this world memory thing.... so i thought, how nice. i'm destined to find this website after all.

which sort of solidifies my err theory that those dreams you've forgotten upon waking up are most likely to take place. because that's what usually happens to me. i remember the dream when it's taking place, or have already taken place (but never beforehand. woa. imagine that). hence the feeling of dejavu (ie. me saying, "hey i've dreamt about this!"). sticking with this notion means my nightmares aren't going to happen, as well as those too-good-to-be-true (ie. me flying on a broomstick) stuff like JM finally confessing his love for me (which isn't a dream but rather an illusion LOL) simply because I REMEMBER.

note to self (and to anyone interested): Brain Games!

no. i'm just being polite.

don't get me wrong.
don't take it seriously.
i'm never one to shut someone out completely unless i was severely harmed. emotionally hohoho. mentally pala hehehe. as long as i can handle it, okay lang. hihihi

eh you know what. that way i feel wit JM right now is exactly how i felt about him a year ago. the same intense crushing feeling argh. and it's more difficult now cos we're actually friends, unlike before where i just stare at him from afar and still get frozen. nakaka-taranta kasi yung pasulpot sulpot lang. he approached me twice this day, about work naman, pero haller after he left the first time... i looked like kyoko doing comic reliefs. it was funny, tas bumalik pa! i swear ikamamatay ko pag nakita nya kong nagf-flail like a fangirl. oh God, no. @_@ the second time he came, mega tense nanaman. work naman kasi kaya okay lang, at least me nasabi naman ako pero deym there was a point na mejo na-utal ako parang tanga lang. sana hindi obvious.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORDDDDDD. the shame! @_@ ano ba to? sobra na yata ako sa kakaghost?
you know what, yesterday i don't know what's wrong but pasmado kamay ko so every time i touch a PC i get grounded. as in, lahat ng PCng hinawakan ko may arayyyy fucktor. e haller i'm on the hardware level so i can't afford to be Volta. ayan hassle tuloy i had to use my hanky to hold the hard disk. bwiset, ultimo hard disk na hindi nakasaksak, na ground ako?!

sabagay. doorknob nga nagground ako e.
kay JM nga nagground ako e, ampotek. Lord, alam mo yung as much as possible iniiwasan ko sya kasi... ano... hindi kaya ng aking sistema ang kanyang presensya. ay hindi ko pala sya iniiwasan, pero hindi ko sya hinahanap at hindi ko sya gusto kasama. oyun nga. eeehhh????!

why do i hate you so friggin much?

i thought i had freed myself from my 4th Zahir but i guess i haven't? i'm still way too cruelly creative in planning your bitches death (or despair, whichever works). I'm sinning because of you.

And i ghosted the wrong disk again. argh.