no. i'm just being polite.

don't get me wrong.
don't take it seriously.
i'm never one to shut someone out completely unless i was severely harmed. emotionally hohoho. mentally pala hehehe. as long as i can handle it, okay lang. hihihi

eh you know what. that way i feel wit JM right now is exactly how i felt about him a year ago. the same intense crushing feeling argh. and it's more difficult now cos we're actually friends, unlike before where i just stare at him from afar and still get frozen. nakaka-taranta kasi yung pasulpot sulpot lang. he approached me twice this day, about work naman, pero haller after he left the first time... i looked like kyoko doing comic reliefs. it was funny, tas bumalik pa! i swear ikamamatay ko pag nakita nya kong nagf-flail like a fangirl. oh God, no. @_@ the second time he came, mega tense nanaman. work naman kasi kaya okay lang, at least me nasabi naman ako pero deym there was a point na mejo na-utal ako parang tanga lang. sana hindi obvious.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORDDDDDD. the shame! @_@ ano ba to? sobra na yata ako sa kakaghost?
you know what, yesterday i don't know what's wrong but pasmado kamay ko so every time i touch a PC i get grounded. as in, lahat ng PCng hinawakan ko may arayyyy fucktor. e haller i'm on the hardware level so i can't afford to be Volta. ayan hassle tuloy i had to use my hanky to hold the hard disk. bwiset, ultimo hard disk na hindi nakasaksak, na ground ako?!

sabagay. doorknob nga nagground ako e.
kay JM nga nagground ako e, ampotek. Lord, alam mo yung as much as possible iniiwasan ko sya kasi... ano... hindi kaya ng aking sistema ang kanyang presensya. ay hindi ko pala sya iniiwasan, pero hindi ko sya hinahanap at hindi ko sya gusto kasama. oyun nga. eeehhh????!

why do i hate you so friggin much?

i thought i had freed myself from my 4th Zahir but i guess i haven't? i'm still way too cruelly creative in planning your bitches death (or despair, whichever works). I'm sinning because of you.

And i ghosted the wrong disk again. argh.

last night (or this morning before i woke up), i dreamt about JM!

BWAHAHAHA here's what i remember:
i was heading to LB for something.
i commented on Jerson about something, he smiled and sort of posed. for one, he has one of the best smiles among my guy friends.
Jam sent me a note about something, then Mac sent me another note. i forgot. org issues i guess?
then i was with JM (naka-cap and uniform)! >:) outside Jollibee Philcoa blah blah blah, i think we're supposed to eat eh but someone called me so i told him to wait. i left, tapos hindi ko na maalala. argh.

-_-; so much for a "date" OTL
yan tuloy, kanina pa yun nasa Jollibee! waley na! waley na talaga! baka iba na kasabay nya kumain! baka si **g*** na!!! LOL k.whatev?

this has been going on for too long na. 1 year na kaya. puro jejemon kasi mga bago e argh.

yesterday, i lost my purse. e wala, andun lang naman pamasahe/pang-tithes/allowance ko. nyek. sabi ko, Lord bat ang aga naman ng karma ko? hindi ko pa naman inaangkin yung usb na naiwan sa lab eh, inuwi ko lang, tas sinave-an ng stuff for my next class. ibabalik ko rin naman pag me nagclaim. di ko nga nireformat eh. why the bad karma?

then i realized, aaah, baka naman this is God telling me that the USB is mine, after all... i've paid for it na! HAHAHA lol joke.

this is my karma for being TEMPTED alone. temptation pa lang me karma na. ikaw ba naman kasi, isang 8gigs, isang 4gigs. SAN KA PA?!

akin na nga to!

privacy ekek

HAHAHA in relation to my "theory" that google could actually be an emerging antichrist, i suddenly became wary of the amount of information about me present in the web. they could use it for something like an operation neopersecution when the "time" comes. hehe. i did some pretty silly vanity search and found out that any one who could use google can come to my place and burn it (not a suggestion).

anyhow. i couldn't possibly minimize my presence in the web. it's pretty much like my 3rd home or something, assuming that i consider school my 2nd urgh. my only personal and public account is my blog, which i realized, contains damn too much cyber-criminal-friendly information (not a suggestion). all my other public accounts are either under aliases or considered 'safe' (uber understatement of the day) so i guess that leaves me with just one domain to purge. my blog.

wait a minute. my silbi naman tong blog na to...

case 1: doctor wanted to know when i started having terrible chest pain. because i remember complaining about it in my blog, i looked it up and found out the exact date, time, and even the circumstance i.e. every cold season and after swimming.

case 2: the company doesn't have any record of me accomplishing their training seminar week. i looked into my blog and found out: the week date, time, trainers, venue, co-trainee (with pic), activities, plus photographs from the art exhibit we passed by on the mall the same week, also sent them links and stuff. i don't think it's enough proof. but i never want to repeat that week again. -__-; i'm quite worried though, cos the link i sent them contains a short stalking feed about one of their trainers. kasi crush ko e. nye

eh. yoko na. antok na ko. aral mode.

hm

i came in their room and she was eyeing me with such familiarity. i could only guess it came from knowing either of the two:

1. that i am his professor's daughter
2. i was her schoolmate

i think i can be friends with her. BWAHAHAHAHA

it doesn't go away that easily

bittorent says my Skip Beat download has to wait 2 weeks++ to get finished. i said, as soon as it's done, i'll revert to win xp sp2 and try to get some hotfixes for my friggin SQL installation. para lang di masayang yung 68.5% progress ko. HAHAHA now, i'm hesitating on going back. i think, vista fucking starter will do FOR NOW cos i still have tons of programming software to install in the future and i don't want to meet thy BSOD every time i'm trying to be a good student. i dunno but i'm thinking it has something to do with my OS being non-legit hahaha

when i get my own laptop i want it to be XP. darn you microsoft for not realizing that vista is actually a DOWNGRADE of it. i dunno about 7 but the UI is too spiffy... i think it looks dumb. hehe anyway, i just need a windows something that doesn't eat too much RAM. -__-;

Rec me good anime's please. except bleach, naruto and one piece cos they always keep me hanging and they never get finished. and i hate waiting so, yon. >:)

i want another job. seriously. if i get a part time job outside which pays better i'll quit my school job. >:| i feel guilty that my friends who are more 'financially underprivileged' aren't given spots as student assistants, last time i checked it's a financial support program. honestly, i think they need it more. but. but. eeeehhh >:(

--------------

you're a sensitive topic. i can't believe i can't just talk about you without worrying how others would feel. as your best friend, i feel bad that i'm restraining myself like this. all because i never wanted anyone to get the wrong idea. our groups are getting smaller and one day we'll all be absorbed in a single circle. i can't afford to be an outcast just because of an unresolved past. nyek nyek nyeeeeekk.


oryt. time to do some homework... for my dad's class tomorrow. hahaha

coincidence

isang araw nakita ko me naka-vandal sa chair na '*firstname lastname* ♥ JM'

sabi ko shet, dami kong kaagaw sayo bwiset. di ko mabasa yung surname pero malinaw yung firstname. sabi ko, hahanapin ko tong gurlash na to. kinabukasan, pagbukas ko ng FB may friend request ako galing kay firstname! hindi ko nga nabasa yung lastname sa chair so hindi ko maconfirm kung sya nga si gurlash. pero basing on the common letters and our 17 mutual friends, sya nga. sya nga si gurlash. sya nga, yung dapat na hahanapin ko pero naunahan ako. yung dapat ii-istalk ko pero kusang nagprisenta ng impormasyon. psychic! tingnan mo nga naman ang pagkakataon.

kagabi, lumong lumo ako kakaiyak dito sa pelikulang ito: A Little Thing Called Love (2010). Thai movie yan, divided into 8 parts sa youtube. please watch para masaya.

spoiler? hindi naman.

tuwang tuwa ako sa movie na yan kasi parang nakita ko sarili ko dun sa bida... nung simula. HAHA kasi sya yung panget na na-inlove sa isang heart throb. sobrang laughtrip. nakakatanga, me mga eksenang "shet parang ako lang to ah O_o". pero sabi ko nga, sa simula lang ako relate na relate at tawang tawa. kasi eventually, nagbloom yung girl at in the end naging sila. inuulit ko, sa simula lang ako nakarelate.