anak ng tokwa

iniisip ko kung anong klaseng kabutihan ang nagawa ko para biyayaan ako ni Lord ng full scholarship ngayong taon. iniisip ko rin kung alin sa mga kamalasan ng nakaraang taon ang nagbigay sakin ng ganito kagandang karma. iniisip ko na baka kapalit ng namamayagpag kong pagaaral ay ang sumpang hindi na magkaroon ng buhay pagibig.

nagiisip ako ng iba pang paraan para kumita. 12 hours lang ang pwede kong itrabaho sa school ngayon dahil madami akong kinuhang subjects. hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pang magsulat ng mga artikulo. simula noong sinimulan ko to, araw araw akong puyat. at hindi ko feel na kumikita talaga ko. >:|

tulog na lang ang pahinga ko. at minsan naguiguilty pa kong matulog dahil wala nanaman akong nagawa magdamag kundi mag internet at manood ng anime. wala akong ibang 'break' kundi ang maginternet, tapos sa tuwing ginagawa ko pa yon feeling ko nagkakasala ako dahil imbes na gamitin ko ang oras ko para manaliksik tungkol dun sa dapat kong isulat, ay nakikichika lang ako sa FB. 

feeling ko hindi ko naman dinedeprive ang sarili ko. nakakakain pa naman ako ng tama. nakakapagisip ng tama (sa classroom). masaya naman ako. pero parang may kulang talaga. >:|

argh

may mga bagay na dapat tinutulog na lang e. pero eto hindi e. i'm now 2,000 words behind schedule. i just downed my favorite upper but i decided to sleep na lang, kasi kahit gising na gising ako ngayon... ramdam ko yung pagod. argh.

>_<;

classified information

i got two screenshots to prove that you're paranoid and concerned at the same time. two screenshots and a comment to prove she's pissed. and one recent activity to prove that i'm involved. i even stressed all the date stamps to further my claim. there's an entire wall of hints at your disposal, and you're playing it just like how you did before.. or just like how you always do. how come you never change. i'm curious about how she feels, what you tell her, and what she tells the other girl.

go ahead and cross the line, i'll lower it so you won't trip. >:)

meanwhile. i'll continue playing dense, until you straighten it out. 

anyway. oryt, i have an entire discussion thread about this in my inbox... and my friend, whom i conveniently labeled as my opportunity-segregator, has advised me to quit, and look somewhere else. somewhere else, meaning you-know-who. of all people. argh. like i'm not looking at him enough? apparently what she thinks i don't see is that there's something more about him:

- coming to me every time i'm alone then leaving when someone else comes (duh?)

- making me jealous, right when he knows i have a crush on him. argh?

- doing all the approaching. it's 95% him, which could be roughly broken down to 30% work-related and 65% whatnots. i never go to him unless my work requires me to, which is the remaining 5%.

- texting a conv starter, which i successfully ignored by being asleep. i woke up regretful. for one: hindi sya palatext. he doesn't even know unli! T____T; argh

- and more.

of course, i know all about those! i'm on fantasy mode every time my crush is near, every little thing he does in real life has an exaggerated translation equivalent to something like 'he likes me back'... which could easily be an understatement if it were only real (keyword: if). 

i could only think it's his way of wanting to make sure if his knowledge about me is true. but i'm not one to give motives, let alone recognize one. i'm curious on the type of assurance he got with my reactions. LOL so i think this is going nowhere.

but it's something else... when somebody thinks there's something else. >:P

oh wow

//i made it. i finally made it to the full scholar category of the dean's list! 100% tuition fee discount yay! my parents will be happy! @_@ Lord, this is an awesome start. 2011, i'll make you mine. >;) kaya naman tume-22 units ako ngayon! goood luck!

//i got my new schedule and i'm taking one of my dad's class. this is ridiculous, but it can't be avoided. he's the only one handling that particular subject and it's a major one too so i can't let it pass. besides, even if i did, who knows if he won't be teaching it next tri? >:| grrrr this will be a very awkward tri.

hohoho?

i feel like i'm back in highschool, flailing over anime! >XD you have to blame usui takumi of kaichou wa maid-sama. >XD >XD >XD he's too perfect. argh. i wish i could marry someone like him. ♥ ♥ ♥

anyway. i keep on procrastinating on this writing assignment and it sucks cos i don't feel alarmed at all. every time i think that the topic is too easy, i pass it for another day. and another, and another... till i find myself way behind schedule and mentally drafting  an "excuse" letter for my boss. >XD argh. apparently, ang hirap pala nya.

anyway, here's a list of stuff i have to download soon... when there's enough space. >:'(

1. gakuen heaven - downloading
2. kimi ni todoke
3. junjou romantica season 3? 2?
4. skip beat

rec me? best genre combo would be shoujo-highschool-comedy-slapstick-romance haha meron pa ba? aside from: special a, toradora, kaichou wa maid-sama, bokura ga ita and lovely complex.... cos i've ardy watched them. hehe! i can root for shounen ai too! waahh rec me pleaaaase!!! cos i need to preoccupy myself (like i'm not already haha) until chuck season 4 breaks out in pirated dvds. >XD >XD >XD

argh.
i.should.start.working.argh.i.know.argh.-_-;

kaichou wa maid-sama!

*insert fangirl squeal* USUI TAKUMI *insert fangirl squeal* 

seriously. it's because of these seemingly perfect alternate universes that i lost faith with the male sector of the human race. haay anime. when will it ever get real. >XD

year starter

Learnings from 2010
1. you can't trust even your closest friends.
2. love (or something like it) ruins friendships. other friendships.
3. to earn everyone's favor you must tolerate their vanity
4. i can never have enough money. argh
5. first love never dies. argh
6. too much knowledge kills faith
7. next to a dead man, lost trust is the hardest (if not impossible) to revive.
8. there are no stupid questions, only stupid answers. but really, even if i tried, stupid questions and smart answers just don't mix. -_-;

there's more but i would sound like a totally ungrateful jerk if i continue. if in case, i hurt anyone in this list, just tell me and i'll clarify (but most probably lie) so i guess it's better not to ask.

Now, for the blessings. 2010 wasn't entirely bad so i'm still thankful because...
1. i got a job. somehow
2. i maintained my scholarship
3. i have friends who make me laugh everyday
4. i have BTS
4. my family is still intact

and so on.

Resolutions (because it's just a matter of rewriting the old stuff)
1. quit nail biting - to be completely honest i know i'll never overcome this bad habit. yuh but it's always worth resolving so wth
2. quit procrastinating - arguably the most common item in everyone's list. and yet.
3. read more books - though i doubt i'll ever have time for this. >:|
4. save more money - duh
5. work harder - so i could #4
6. try to lose weight - it's the universal frustration. and you just have to agree.

a typical list.
now i have something to copy-paste every year haha