not enough gratitude

i was wondering on what could have been if none of it happened. i would probably have a new best friend. then i would have someone to talk to right now. then i wouldn't have to rely on this blog for a decent outlet. but it did. i consider it a loss, but that's life. you lose some, you gain some. but sometimes you just lose some, and nothing follows.

i'm probably writing this for the total lack of inspiration on hair loss (current writing assignment), and also for the total lack of people i can talk to... who are sensible enough to consider my post-teenage rants as, uhm, a natural process. hahaha

i may have told this a lot times, and every time i do, i feel guilty, but for the nth time... i miss the people in LB. and you know why i feel guilty about mentioning this.

this stage in my life is so different. i want to think it's part of the whole welcome-to-the-20's process. i'm supposed to be more mature. but i find myself doubting more, trusting less, and working more autonomously. i'm afraid i'm turning into an independent wreck.

PS: oh i know why i'm suddenly all emo and feeling friendless. this track is to be blamed: Time and Space by The Accidental. it reminds of me chuck, sitting pathetically with a bowl of cheese balls, making a waste of his life because of a wrong decision.

btw, chuck made me cry a lot earlier. AGAIN. season 3 is so emotional, i'm running out of tissue. or maybe i'm the emotional one. but still, i've never cried this much in the previous seasons. >:'(

I NEED MORE SPACE.

i've maxed out this pc already. no enough space to store mp3s!!! so now, i need these

1. 1 terabyte external hard drive. i found one at ebay for 4,000 (seagate). but that's gonna have to wait. HAHAHA i'll have you. soon. i said, TERABYTE. TERABYTE. nakakakilig shetttt

2. 8 gigs microSD card. i've used up the 4gigs, and it sucks that i have to delete a few albums just to make way for a new one, namely... CHUCK SEASON 3 UNOFFICIAL MUSIC COLLECTION BWAHAHAHAAAAA!!! so the 8 will be for my phone and the 4 will be for school. i just bought a microSD reader for it, and i'm excited to cover it with my pink snoopy scotch tape. it will be my soon-to-be official usb. until it gets lost, again. huhuhu

yeah. it's not easy to be in this business, you always need space.

HEYHEYHEY, so diba nga i was so pissed off that my sister won't take a butt cheek off in an effort to lose weight. we even had a quarrel last night because of it. but now that we're ok and she wants to make it up to me, i had one (secret) condition: SUN!!! BWAHAHAHA so while she was sleeping, i stole her phone, killed her globe, gave her a sun, and told all her friends about it. poor terai doesn't have a clue. i even logged in on her facebook and walled about her number change.

BWAHAHAHA i'm such an imposing sister. didn't even give her a choice. hohoho. PERO OKAY LANG YAN, I'M SURE SHE'LL FORGIVE ME. diba terai? >:)

PS: i just called her, and she's so.... MAD. @_@;

PS2: she's not mad anymore! BWAHAHAAAAA

bwahehehehe

tomorrow (plus the next 29 days) will be yet another research writing period for me. >8) 

this day: spent the whole day at church, christmas party kasi ng homebuilder's ministry (parang couples for christ.  for my parents ha). oyon. daming pagkain yesss. kaya naman,

earlier this night, i bought maggie. maggie. the one eunice and mc recommended pampapayat. i thought it was yet another slimming tae (pun intended). pero capsule pala shet natakot naman akow. who knows. who knows. let's see after ten days. 

bakit ganon. ako ang taong dalawa ang trabaho pero walang panregalo. >:\

PS: super thanks to jec dahil sa kanyang napakaasayang christmas gift! >8D 2006 FIFA WORLD CUP LANYARD, GERMANY BLACK!!!! >8D >8D >8D >8D dahil dyan, i can totally let go of this grudge. solomotssss!!! 

it's pretty rare having people respond to my wishlists. HERE. dalawa palang silang ganon. >:D >:D >:D >:D

PS2: pagod na ko. pagod na ko sa kakasaway sa kapatid ko sa kanyang walang humpay na pagkain. ayoko na. nakakbwiset na. bahala na sya! hindi ba nya naisip na ayaw ko syang magkasakit? hindi na nga covered ng healthcard yung asthma nya tas kain pa ng kain! nakakaubos ng pera magkasakit! grrrrr binilhan ko pa naman sya ng sun sim. konek?

PS3: didn't meet with my bestfriend today. ibbgay ko na sana yung gift ko, at ibabalik na sana nya yung chuck ko. kaso nga, christmas party. dahilan ko lang yata yon. tinatamad tlga ko e. for sure yun din. ewan ko ba, wala ng anticipation. ayoko lang tlga siguro ng mga plano. lalo na pag ako yung naginitiate kasi, tatamarin tlga ako. ok pa yung biglang hatak e. parang dati. pero ngayon, walang ng ganon. kung gusto mgkita, kelangan pinaplano. hassle pare. wish you were here. 

asdklcjqnhbvadgnh

i'm done with the project, but gmail is such a bitch it won't let me attach. now i'm tryna sort this out before i totally waste my deadline. i sent my employer a copy-pasted version, but of course i still have to work on the attachment. this can't go for long. asd;kNLFMDS ' it says, shockwave flash is being unresponsive. unresponsive my ass.

mr employer is asking if i want more assignments, i do. but NOW i'll extend the contract period. i just deprived myself 10 days of decent sleep because of my silly 20-articles-in-10-days challenge. considering that it was our finals week when i accepted it, i just realized that it's suicide. asdlvj fsn;mlan;khw'

let's see, so in the past 10 days. i've written at least 7,000 words divided into 20 articles. that's so much torture. but i guess, i just have to manage my time and try to write during the daylight so it doesn't feel like i'm doing the graveyard shift. THE PROBLEM IS, i like to sleep when the sun is up, and work when it's down. but you know, SCHOOL.

adfchjbn;m. now that vacation has started (kind of, just one more exam tomorrow), maybe i can write more?

challenge accepted.

here's my next project.
40 articles, 30 days. sounds better. >:)

at least i have job.

Wishlist: Pilot G-Tec-C4 Set, Paulo Coelho: The Complete Collection

Muticolored Pilot G-Tech Set! THE AWESOMENESSSSS. saw this at Tumblr and got excited to have my own, though i could only imagine the price. individually this costs around 70/pen x 10 (minus the "wholesale" discount) would probably run from 600-700. Earlier i asked NBS about this and they said it's not available. they only have the 3 basic colors for it. no other colors. >8((( ARGGGGHHH then again, looking at my ever growing virgin pen sets, this would be yet another impulsive decision. hmm

also earlier at NBS, i saw this paperback collection of Paulo Coelho books!!!! lo and behold, it only costs 2,399! now that's cheap!!! considering that divided by 12, each book would roughly amount to just 200. JUST 200. a paulo coelho book for 200 is crazy. i wanted to buy it, though i already have 2 of them and have read 6. pero i forgot everything so. I SO FUCKIN WANNA BUY THIS. @_@

Paulo Coelho: The Complete Collection includes
The Pilgrimage
The Alchemist
Brida
The Valkyries
By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept
The Fifth Mountain
Veronika Decides Die
The Devil and Miss Prym
Eleven Minutes
The Zahir
Witch of Portobello
The Winner Stands Alone

BTW: this is probably just a Novels set since Warrior of Life (which is a manual) and Like the Flowing River (a collection of thoughts and reflections) aren't included. BUT STILL ♥

PLEASE ♥

before i forget

i just had one of the scariest dreams. @_@; i slept at around 1 or 2-ish this morning... i dreamt that i was in my room, with some people i haven't seen in a long time. people i was never really close to... nicollete and bebs (hs classmates), and christian (college major crush #2 hehe). we were having fun. i guess there were cards involved ewan. then we were laughing so hard that nicollete has to grab our hands for support. she was holding my hand on her left, and bebs' on her right. laughing, she turned to me and said "may manggugulat sayo."

ay pota. hinigpitan ko kapit ko sa kanya. sa sobrang kaba ko naging nightmare na sya. nakapikit na lang ako, anticipating the gulat factor. habang lalong humihigpit, lalo akong kinahabahan. then that's when i tried to wake up kasi hindi na kinaya ng nerves ko. mega stress level. the fear of the unknown talaga o.

minsan natatakot na rin akong matulog pag gabi kasi ayoko ng nightmares. kaya mas feel ko matulog pag maliwanag pa. at least pag nagkanightmare ka, gigising ka tapos maliwanag. then the nightmare ends. kesa naman nagising ka tas madilim. kalurkey. utang na loob. magisa lang ako sa kwarto. at queen ang kama ko. ampota. i should stop scaring myself. e kasi naman, PRAAAY.

i looooove kurt hugo schneider! and even though i have this drumming suspicion that he's gay... along with his bestfriend sam tsui.... i fucking don't care. their talent is what counts. >:D

oryt. 3 and 3/4 articles to go. >8\

what to do when you're sick and beating a deadline

here are a couple of things i need to accomplish before the sun rises.

1. at least 2 articles
- was supposed to do this yesterday but my alarm clock failed me again. you see, i slept for 12 hours. >8D but it's fine, it's the best gift i could probably give myself these days. last friday night i toiled over our digicir project (which paid off) and did 4 articles. @_@; the next day i got sick. here's when you start to regret taking jobs that aren't well compensating, all for the sake of earning paying the internet bills and buying meds for my stupid allergies.

2. study for our algorithm final exams.
- asdackdv vaakbnhsd

3. my cousin's homework
- which was passed onto me because they don't have the necessary technology for it (ie. internet and printer)

now. it's 11, and we just bought a healthy supply of my favorite coffee. >:)

glasses on.
good morning everyone! >:D >:D >:D