on wired and wireless internet connection

testing the strength of smart bro and globe tattoo here in my room. apparently, this place is not good for broadband internet connections. i don't know if it's because we have 4 levels altogether or the walls here are too thick the signals can't pass through (huh?). it's really the house e. smart is pretty strong here in terms of cellphone signal but the broadband is damn weak i couldn't even load speedtest.net

on the other hand, globe is such a pain when i'm inside the house. signal is decent ONLY at the 2nd and 3rd floor. it's weak at the 1st floor and dead on the basement and that's where the office is. bwiset. anyhooow, broadband? so far it's better than smartbro... JUST IN THIS ROOM. i'm not saying globe tattoo broadband is better than smartbro, cos reallyyy when it comes to wireless connections, it all depends on the LOCATION.

i still want DSL but if i can manage with globe tattoo, hmm ok lang din. >:)

kkkk, marathon time! >:D TAE KYUUUNG!!!

MOAR!!!

oh right. so i've finally decided on something. i'm transferring to a different department, that is if i get allowed to, otherwise i'm filing for resignation. i don't wanna make it look like i'm having such a hard time at the library, cos the truth is (and as i've mentioned countless times) the work is bearable. i'm an easily bored person and i enjoy being busy, what i can't handle is the way she dumps work on us like we're part of the *geek alert* transport layer of an OSI reference model with a dysfunctional (or worse, nonexisent) flow control [1]. plus the fact that the dusty shelves are aggravating my allergies. well, i can even accept her delegating patterns as long as i'm given enough space and peace of mind to focus on it. which hardly ever happens.

i don't know. i wanna take charge of this in the most diplomatic way possible. help me Lord.

kkk, fine fine fine. i have a political map to do for my friend. a quiz to review on, aaaaand A DVD OF HE'S BEAUTIFUL SA WAAAKAS

oh and finally, i'm gonna try bon's 15-in-1 barako coffee. LOL

my day has just begun. >:)

[1] - in networking there's a concept called flow control which regulates the amount of data flow from the server to the client or from the sender to receiver. say for example the sender trasmits packets of data too fast and many for the client to handle; with flow control, the receiver won't be accomodating these data streams simultaneously (lest it might overclock/hang/freeze/dieeee), instead it deals with them one by one, each with a prompt confirming the reception of the said data.

this can be observed when transferring files from one device to another. unless the receipient specifies automatic reception, the data will not be delivered until the receiver acknowledges the sender.

i hope you get it. i did my best. OTL

still a crab

but i'm out of the hole-full of crabs for now. i'm wandering on the shore with my co-crabs. we're getting along well, that is, you know, until we get into another hole. haha


see what i mean? i thought i was the only one bickering about our job but looks like i have the entire pack with me. i tried to be good, i mean, i tried to look at the bright side, i tried to convince myself that i'm only feeling this way because i haven't been performing well. but hmmm, there's really something wrong with her. that i've realized after hearing my colleagues sentiments. we all feel the same.

now i feel normal.

yeah. that's all i needed, people to assure me that i'm not the only one undergoing such an emotional torment. here's what i heard lately, she wants to replace ALL of us. you know if that happens, the only words i could tell her is "GOOD LUCK". in a cheerful manner of course. and that's the most polite thing i could say. i tried to imagine it but even in my most cheerful tone, the sarcasm overflows. couldn't get rid of it, apparently.

my only concern is that, getting fired on your first ever job doesn't sound good. and it doesn't matter whether it's your fault or not for landing a job with a boss who has a fancy for changing employees every three months (she changes maids every 2 months). keynote is: i'm getting fired. it's a relief and a worry at the same time. of course, the relief goes to finally breaking free of her. and the worry goes to looking for a next job, or a next department... depending on how the HR weighs our termination. she's not ignorant of what's happening below her anyway, and i'm counting on that. >:)

why am i so apprehensive about this impending doom?

i'm such a crab

and this crab needs a break. from work. from school. from the people around me.

i'm not growing.

and everyday i abhor the growing amount of distrust i feel towards the people close to me. minsan i want to quit the friendship because i'm not comfortable with their attitudes anymore. i don't understand if i'm the one lacking, or they all seem too immature. 

not enough sense. not enough tact. not enough respect. too much pride on my part.

i wanna be on my own. would it be so bad to ask for new friends without looking like i abandoned my own pack? ang sama ng dating pero nakakasawa na. seriouuuussss. ang sama sama ko pero, sa totoo lang, i'm fine with just two of them. and they're not the two people you're thinking about, maybe one of them is, but not the other. 


waaah. sorry. >:((((

isa lang naman talaga gusto ko e, a pint of selecta coffee crumble ice cream. yun lang. >:''((((( chaka DVD ng "he's beautiful." hay

nothing like ant bites, backstabs, and a low quiz to ruin my day. 

dramaramarama

i told my parents i was resigning and they both beamed up. finally i can visit the hospital to get my ever so aggravating allergies checked. finally i can enroll at driving school. finally i can get an appointment at DFA. finally i can accept freelance projects. finally i can swim everyday. finally.

it seems like i was robbed of the time i need for myself ever since i started juggling work and school together. honestly, it wasn't a hard job, my studies were consistently okay, and my job wasn't a hindrance to it. maybe i was too engrossed with earning money. it was quite addictive. when i got my first salary i couldn't wait for the next one. being idle and cashless has grown into a fear which caused me to hold on to anything that sustains me monetarily. which, right now, is my job as a student assistant at the college library.

i love being around books. i enjoy shelving them in order. i enjoy troubleshooting with network problems. i enjoy being of assistance to people who're looking for books. i love my co-SA's (WAHAHA). i don't mind carrying heavy objects. but i hate my boss.

anyhow, i'm pretty sure she doesn't want me there anymore either. and i don't want to give her the satisfaction of firing me before i can even file my resignation. but wait. i'm not sure yet. if i lose this job i'm gonna be broke for months indefinitely until i get a new (and hopefully better) job. and i hate being broke for a long time. 

i'm not sure where this entry is leading to. i want to buy a dvd of He's Beautiful and run a marathon with a pint of selecta coffee crumble ice cream. i want to subscribe to DSL to be able to stream anime/tv series/movies.

Dear Lord. i want to meet my soulmate now. soulmate po a, hindi boyprend. >:| nakakaiyak walang mapagbuhusan. and it's not like i'll easily open up just because someone's willing to listen. truth is, there are people who are always willing to listen to me. but either they're too far away, they wouldn't understand, or i don't trust them enough. SUPER SORRY. haynako ayokong mag-emoemohan by saying i'm so fucking aloooone. kasi feeling ko i'm being unfair to my friends who are always there. masakit kaya yon. to be regarded as someone distant right when you're so near. ewan. 

wala akong mapagkatiwalaan dito.


but the good thing is, i laugh every day. it's a blessing that i'm always laughing, i wasn't like this at LB. e kasi naman dito, there's always something to laugh about. WAHAHAHA sarreh.


i can't stop being mean. i'll try to contain it, promiiiiise. >:)

supercaffeinated yeah

i'm excited to FORCE my friends to buy our fund-raising shirt, which is the one i designed. LOL. i finally convinced meg to sell the damned thing for profit and of course, for artist exposure KUNO. bwahahaha i know it's a really cool shirt, i'm proud of it. and it's gonna bring the org some cash so i'm entitled to act like a stage artist (pun intended) for it. oh shirt, i'm so proud of yaaaaaah, you go shirt! >:)

i'm jimm's slave tonight. yessssss. but why? two weeks of school and i'm already drugging myself? too early! you wanna know why? 4 major major things:

1) tarp design - i slacked off on this job for months and tonight is payback time. it sucks cos i don't even have time to bring the softcopy to the tarp printer, i'm not even sure if they're open on weekends, or if they're still open for business by now LOL last time i checked, they have no clients. oh Lord, i need em this weekend specially this superfriendly rate of 20 per square feet. >:(

2) seminar invitations - this should be a piece of cake if i weren't such a loser at putting 'inviting' words together.

3) seminar certificates - i've done this before so... ok. DONE!!! >:D >:D >:D

4.) digicir quiz! yes i'm so serious with my studies i'm putting this off for the next 5 hours. yehey

library this morning was, believe it or not, fine. even though i have to multitask every 5 minutes, at least i didn't get called for something i've done wrong, AGAIN. hahaha

since i have no majorcrush, well i have 2 minorcrushes but they're so minor, KAYA NAMAN: i'm back to flailing over korean boyssss!

TAE KYUNG!!! grabe lang yung kilig ko kanina, sooo highschoool!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ WAAAAHH!!!!

in fairness

my boss didn't flare at me this morning. so i was in a good mood the entire day. believe me, the moment i saw her head poking up behind her monitor at the back first thing in the morning, my whole body was filled with dread. whenever she calls me, my head screams, "what the hell have i done agaaaaiin?!?!?!" and whether or not she's calling me for good or otherwise, the feeling remains dreadful. this is so unhealthy, i'm like triggering the production of toxins in my body by harnessing bad stress! this could render me sick, anytime.

i wanna be stressed for GOOD. here's my favorite type of stress, getting frozen when my majorcrush is within 5 yards. or twelve. INCHES. WAHAHAHA that's pooooositive stress! something i don't mind getting everyday cos it's healthy. oo sabi sa radyo. but apparently, i'm majorcrushless!!! >:( and what's taking up most of my mind right now is prospecting for a future job, in case i get fired... which is very likely, with the way i've become the apple of eye lately. haysows. if this morning was good, which is weird, then for sure tomorrow will be bad.

i'm not being negative, i'm just lowering my expectations to a harmless level. preparing for the worse of things to come. being realistic. yun. wahehehe

i wanna watch He's Beautiful WAAAAAAHHH >8D >8D >8D