hahaha

why do i feel like we're growing closer everyday... or at least, every time we see each other? haha. hahaha. WAHAHAHAHAHAHA wooooh grabe. library work is becoming tedious, i just don't run out of things to do. she makes me type stuff, i'm not even halfway and she asks me to do another, i pause to finish something and she reminds me to do the other thing first. what do you want me to do exactly maaaam??? anyway, hindi naman ako nagrereklamo. yun nga lang, ang gulo nya mag-utos!

darnnnniiit, i hate losing RFs. it fckn drives me crazy. you see, we're collecting students' IDs and RFs for barcoding... and sometimes in the process of having a RF signed, it gets lost, and it's stressful when we can't give it back to the students cos it's fckn missing. that's 250 pesos per reprint. haaaay buhay. i'm on duty tomorrow morning and I MUST (hopefully) accomplish these 2 things: edit 763 accession numbers at the OPAC + request papers.

seriously, i just want to put stickers on books. >:(

his poem. honestly, i've read it a couple of times already waaaay back even before he asked me to read it. he seems proud of his work but honestly, i don't get it. O_O; and i don't know how to tell it to him. the structure is messy, and i don't see the underlying theme. i'm sorry but, i'm a reader and i know when a poem is deep. his isn't, it's just... a plethora of words. oh my God, i'm so sorry. i'm sure he's gonna ask me if i read it, lol anong sasabihin ko? nice one? naaah, i'll just go tell him hindi ko nagets! na nalunod ako? no really, it's magulo. hahaha sorry na? i'm not a poet but i know grammar... at least. @_@; sorry.

they want me to run for position. and they're wooing me like i'm their only hope. i don't think so! for one thing,  i don't like the party? not really, i just don't appreciate their platforms, and if i run for them it means i have to stand by something i'm faithless on. i cannot defend them that way. do i want to run? NO. i actually thought about it, i'm not going to win anyway so there's nothing to lose, i can just run to show erni support but that's so against my principles (i kinda have that too, apparently haha). i'm only running when i'm ready to serve. i ain't doing anything for the wrong reasons.

thing is, erni has plans for me and he said he wants to work with me. you know what caught me? he said, if i'm going to design a shirt for the org, i'll get an incentive per tshirt sold. that's really cool, but honestly that'll sound better if they'll take me as an independent artist and not as an officer, cos then it'll sound selfish of me. parang, why not do it for the org na lang? in short, why not do it for free? odba, therefore, kung usapang pera din lang naman... i don't need to be an officer to market my skills. hahaha

so yeah, i'm not running. hehehe

bagong buuuuuhaaaay

wala wala wala wala wala wala wala wala wala na talagaaaaaaa. kaya don't flatter yourself at wag ka na rin umasa dahil hindi kita hihintayin. alang alang na rin sa... hindi ko pa alam, sa iba siguro, o sa sarili ko, o dun sa isa pang inaasahan kong malabo 2hrs away from here. ewan. basta hindi na ikaw. >:) wala muna sa ngayon. ay ang boring. sige, maghahanap ako. hahaha

ang aga ko natapos! i finished terai's charge slips na sa wakas!
matutulog na ko yey! >:)

i love calculus.
eeeew, pero seryoso. ♥

guilty

@_@ sige kakalimutan ko na lang. i never imagined it would come to a point na hindi ko maappreciate to be called that way. e dati tuwang tuwa ako sa ganon. feel na feel ko! ngayon, it doesn't sound endearing anymore, it sounds like a boundary pa tuloy. like, i'm calling you this to remind you who you are and where you should be. dyan ka lang. ok? OKAY PO.

###1: ever since may nagsabi sakin, lagi na kong guilty. guilty na hindi na tayo tulad ng dati. na hindi na kita malapitan ng maayos. na badtrip ako sayo lagi kasi nakakairita kasi ugali mo. pero siguro kung hindi ko nalaman close parin tayo no? matotolerate parin kita diba? ngayon awkward na pag tayo lang. hmp. anyway. that's a lost friendship. ikaw rin, di mo na ko kaya asarin.

###2: nag-guilty ako cos i don't give you the treatment you deserve. nadadala rin ako sa sabi ng iba. pero seriously, there's just one thing i hate about you. flirt ka. and that's just one side of you, i know kaya nga bati parin tayo. hindi naman ako judgmental e. you're a good friend naman eh. iritable lang talaga ko sa mga malalandi. haha sorry. pero di kita pinaplastik kasi masaya ka naman minsan HAHAHA sorry kanina ayaw ka namin ipagtabuyan pero irita pa kasi si friendship sayo, chka bonding day daw namin. chka hindi ko talaga mapatawad yung reaksyon mo nung nakita mo si paolo. like, AMPOTA SARAP SABUNUTAN NITONG BABAENG TO kahit walang akong karapatan dun sa lalaki nairita ko. no wonder. nooooo wonder.

###3: gusto ko rin ng someone. someone else.

###4: walang biro, i feel dumber this term. parang the 1 week i was gone from school robbed me a lot of my grades. nakakalungkot.

###5: ayoko na sa lib. joke lang. ang hirap kasi bantayan nung mga ginagawa namin e, buti kung araw araw akong duty e hindi naman... ang hirap makisunod. rrrrrrr

###6: pang-nrmf yung PE uniform ko nakakahiya every wednesdays. grrrrr chaka anobayan, ano bang alam ko sa sports? nilampaso ako ni mommy b kanina. HAHAHA chka seerrrr, ano yung ping pong?! ngayon lang ako naka-experience non amp wala ngang marunong magscore samin eeeehh ang bobo tlga ng PE na to.

ay bwiset

natatanga na ko sa lib. 

hello endorphins

i don't remember why this day feels happy, but it does so thank you Lord! >:D BWAHAHAHAHA i must've eaten too much banana over the time i was sick, and wait, i ate banana for lunch too. that must've been the cause why i'm not snotty over the irritating humidity.

first day of school and work... for me, at least. school was fine, work was... err, fine, same old tedious typing job and a shocking amount of freshmen in the lib. it was the first time i saw the library that full. yeah, the school population most probably grew by more or less 40%. that's a lot man. and they all want aircon. that's a freaking loooot. oh yes, shocking news, i thought i'm gonna be reunited with my old SA friends me-an and christy but no, they're all gone. no news whether they transferred to the basic ed. or quit working or whatever, i miss them. and i'm going to find out soon what happened. haaay.

so yeah, new people to work with. i only started february this year and now i'm like a senior employee already cos i'm the only one left to teach them. but they're a fun bunch i guess! BWAHAHA and JM said he's going to work at the library too but i'm not crossing my fingers on it cos mam michelle said she stopped accepting applicants already sayang tuloy. now that my feelings have faded away, to me he seems like a normal friend already, someone i can talk to casually na. actually level up nga e diba pero no special feelings. haha ganon talaga. di ko na sya crush gusto ko lang pagusapan hahaha

on the other hand, hindi ko parin nakikita si TL... well, i haven't started looking actually.

osya sige, my sister is sick! grabe, last week, terai was already sick but she got well naman, tapos daddy followed, then me, then mommy... then now it's back to terai! why is my entire family getting sick! we're out of flu shot maybe nakow this is baaaad. at dahil dyan, i'm doing 5 days worth of work for her. eto na, metrobank charge slips be kind at wag kayo magulo kasi magulo rin utak ko sa sobrang alinsangan ng panahon baka punitin ko kayo lahat!

oks time to work.

discharged

gone for a week cos i got sick and was confined. i knew it, may is not my month. i got a bad foot sprain at the start of the month and a gastrochorvaloo infection right when school just started which cost me a week of absence and 20hours worth of salary. grrr...

monday: woke up 3am to throw up.. from then on, i throw up at least every hour, then i shit. skipped school, rushed to the ER where they gave me this medicine that i didn't appreciate because it kept me from throwing up, but the nausea was always there so that sucked big time. =___=;

tuesday-thursday: high fever days. my throat swelled because of literally throwing up the entire monday. my head hurt like crazy and i felt like i did a thousand sit-ups also because of throwing up. no appetite. went back to the hospital and got admitted. the injectable antibiotic they gave me fucking hurts when it runs through my veins, nakakaiyak. haaaaaaay =__=;

ayon, tapos yesterday... got discharged AT LAST. dyusko sobrang boring sa ospital. =___=;

i was in a ward of 5 patients, tapos the cubicle in front of me has an old lady who died at around 2am last saturday morning. haaaay depressing. my mom woke up and cried, naalala namin pareho si mamay. >:( she came and prayed over tapos had a little chit chat... ayon. ok naman.

PS: my previous entry. haynako. that's what's you call a post-scheduler disaster. nahiya tuloy ako. kaya pala di ko maalala. tsk. kainis.

emo emohan

hala. ang sakit! bumabalik amp! @_@
ganon talaga diba. you can't love without looking like a fool. and even if the last thing you wanna do is to save your pride from all the hurt, hindi mo parin maiiwasan mag mukang tanga. i promised myself na last na talaga to! isang bagay na lang kelangan ko sa kanya then tapos na!!! teka, pano ba mag-move on e wala naman akong inamin? wala naman akong sinabi? wala rin akong pinaramdam? kung tutuusin, nag-iilusyon lang ako. feeling rejected pero technically hindi naman, pero sabi ng instinct ko, oo marereject ka rin kaya wag mo na sabihin. sa kanya na rin naman galing na hindi posible yun at hindi mangyayari yun. so parang ganun na rin yun diba? odiba, wala pa kong sinasabi tinuldukan na!

anyway, ako rin naman e. feeling ko ako yung unang nagpahiwatig na ayoko ng ganon. takot ako sa mga ganyan.  henako. i never realized i'll end up eating my own words by falling in love with the same person i shared my insecurities with.

nakakadiri ang ka-emohan nitong entry na to. haha

btw, i wrote this may 1, 2010. but i'm publishing it... tska na! hahaha

i believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder. and when it does, dun ko siguro malalaman kung love nga ba to or kaartehan lang dala ng super friendship at closeness natin. diba? e pano kung love nga? edi ok lang, at least naramdaman ko naman na magka-first love. LOL.

chaka wait. sabi nga nila...

first love never dies, but true love can bury it alive.
amen!