everything worth waiting is worth having

but sometimes, it's also worth leaving. people say, whenever you think of giving up, think of the reason/s why you're still holding on. then again, that's only one side of the coin, why not also think of the reason/s why you thought of giving up? surely, it's big enough to consider since it was able to shake your resolve. >:P

// i kinda want to sleep early because i want to do a lot tomorrow, like go to the gym! people say i'm getting fatter @_@ that's what i need summer for!

// fortunately, i didn't see JM this day. maybe God is hiding him from me because i already got too much yesterday. and besides! how will i greet him if we see each other by? HE-HE-HELLOOOO? i spent the rest of my break at the canteen because i knew he'll be at the library at that time, reading the newspaper. not that i'm trying to avoid him, i just don't know how to react... naturally.

// i figured this will be much easier if none of my friends knew. e i want to share my happiness e! bakit ba?!

sige, goooood night! >:D

>8D

bwahahaha! headache still isn't gone but i'm very very happy because of 2 things! (then later on i'll tell you the sad bits)

#1) i was depressed the whole night yesterday because i couldn't find my drawing notebook in my bag. that notebook contains 4 of my most precious artworks, 2 of which are unscanned and LOOOOT of doodles that contains heavy cheesyness and mild swearing. something i wouldn't want others to read. anyway, i found it at the library. it seemed that i left it when i was on duty. yey! >8D that alone made my day. >8D

#2) when i first saw it, i knew i was attracted to it and i mentally vowed to get it someday. well, today is that day. my sister bought me another drawing journal! BWAHAHAHA i'm never gonna run out of paper to draw on! plus it's more compact since it's smaller. it's also bloody red so i'm loving every part of it. i don't think it's cheap though. it's worth 248, kinda like a moleskine with the garter but at least, it's not moleskine. you see, my 2009 moleskine planner is a big failure! i sorta promised to write on every page, every day but i wasn't able to do so hahaha dahil dyan, i don't believe in daily planners anymore. monthly, sure! since all i have to do is put X marks every day. no effort. di ko alam kung ano ggawin ko sa moleskin na yon. pamigay ko na lang kaya? sayang ba? hmm...

yun lang. masaya na ko!

>:)))))
haaay dyusko, ang kulit ni blandy. ayoko pa naman ng hinuhuli kasi hindi ako makatakas. !@#$%^&*()

one day, nasa lib ako katabi ko si chamel. tapos biglang pumasok si JM at umupo two tables away from us, pero kaharap ko. O_O; hindi ko mapigilan ngumiti. at dahil muka na kong tanga, nakababa na nga yung ulo ko sa lamesa e... umalis ako sa lib. hindi ko kaya. nakangiti na ko forever. haaay majorcrush. naalala ko, gantong ganto rin ako kay leopardo. at least friends kami! wahaha!

craving for: regular pearl milk tea with extra pearls from zagu, beef chowfan sa chowking at siomai from master siomai. gutom na kooooo.

pahinging ketchup pleaase?? @___@;

there is so much i wish you knew but i will never tell you

// something i hate about myself... i hardly make things happen. so i'm not the right person to talk to if you want something planned out like an outing or any event. i'm too lazy for that. and unless i'm working on a deadline of for money, i keep on forgetting things.

// favors are piling up on my desk, projects, homeworks and stuff i'm not being compensated for. and i fucking hate it that they just throw it at me like i'm a fucking homework generator. i was looking forward to reading Dear John tonight and sleeping early, but i get it that i'm not getting any of those today. grrrrr

i wish i were less lenient.

// she got it all wrong. she insists there's something but i bet my entire life there isn't. it saddens me because no matter how it looks alright on the surface, deep down it really isn't. two good things doesn't always remain good when put together.

summer. i want summer to happen already because i wanna get rid of these feelings so bad. >:(
it's going to be detrimental to my sense of focus. Lord, it's too early. can't it be after two years? here you are, giving me a chance, but you know i can't take it. thank you for my first heartbreak. T__T;

summer, please!!!!

ha?

how do you get over the pain of a first love?
the weight of rejection, the unsolicited tears
how do you cope with a withering heart?
a plague that builds a tower of fears

sister on call

the moment i read her text message i knew something was wrong, so i called her immediately and wasn't surprised to hear her crying on the other line. for a minute i told her to hush and wait for me at the gym. i rushed, yes, but i wasn't worried because i knew her problem was the same old problem she rants and raves about every single day. work.

i arrived at the gym after around 20 minutes, and i found her seated on the floor, locked in a cubicle at the CR. she spent the entire time waiting for me in that small cramped space, crying helplessly like a kid. i don't mean to sound indifferent, but seeing her in that state didn't make me feel sympathetic or anything. i just wanted to take her home, asap.

so i gathered her up, and forced her to tidy herself up before talking to me. she looked freaking wasted, her hair in disarray and her eyes swollen. i can't stand being with her in that state. i tell her to shut up every time she tries to speak while dressing up. i understand her anxiousness to vent her anger (i knew she was angry, she has always been), but first things first, i need her to change her clothes. i'm not being strict, it helps... you know, looking decent even when you're angry, feeling clean and all. it's one thing to make yourself look like your anger isn't consuming you. and besides, the gym is closing so she has to pack up already.

then i listen. again, i listen to everything. the saaaaame old things. her work. her position. the customers. the rude senior citizens. the metrobank cardholders. the apathetic service crews. she has a tendency to talk really harsh about them, like she wants them all dead, and it makes my heart feel heavy, like i'm one big shock absorber. i let her rant for more than an hour, while walking, while eating, while commuting home. it's her way of letting things out. so i let her be. after aaaaall the talking, she asked me, "anong gagawin ko?" 




sometimes i wonder, if someday i'll meet someone whom i can call and be there for me in an instant... like, personally! then again, da hu? and in the first place, i'm not someone who likes calling people up to be with me. i don't want to be such a hassle to my friends. i've kinda learned to solve things on my own, so i only kinda need my friends to listen when i want to share something personal, but that hardly ever happens either. most of the time kasi, i just blog about it. well, if i'm in a super problematic situation, i turn to the nearest person who could help me. natural lang naman diba?


some things i've learned about myself: i'm not needy, i'm independent, and i'm more concerned with taking care of the people i love, than being taken care of. my golly, that sounded selfless of me, but i'm really more selfish than that. uhhh, i think that's what you get when you're forced to act like the older sister. and about taking care than being taken care of.... actually, i do want to be taken care of din! i want to feel that somehow, someone aside from my family is concerned about me. kaso minsan i feel like i always end up more concerned with the person who's concerned about me. chaka ako rin naman, i hate looking like a damsel in distress or an idiot who always needs helping.

haaaay terai, kung di lang kita mahal.

osige na, this is getting long.

BWAHAHAHAHA i bought 9 news pens! hohohoho, bumili ulit ako nung isang set ng Love Pet gel pens e kasi di ko mapigilan, tapos SOOOOON! may bibilihin akong pang-drawing notebook! ung pageone na red kasi parang moleskine >:D >:D >:D excited ako!

btw, fulfilled ako kanina because i ate wasabi popcorn at tatlong isaw. >8D chka pearl milk tea with extra pearls sa zagu. chka siomai. yehey >:D

right-brained or left-brained? brain dominance test >:D

here's a really cool brain dominance test i saw earlier at plaridel's blog! >:D all you have to do is look at the image above and tell whether the girl is turning clockwise or counter-clockwise. i'm not sure if blogger supports .gif, but i do hope the image is moving >:]

if it's not moving, just refer to this entry: http://plaridel.wordpress.com/2009/02/15/right-brain-vs-left-brain/

if you see it moving clockwise, you're right-brained; otherwise, left. 

anyways. i've taken brain dominance tests before and i'm always right-brained. they say right-brained people are more intuitive than analytical. left-brained people however, speaks otherwise. right-brained people are more logical and organized and so on... the list goes on... maybe you can check this out: http://painting.about.com/library/blpaint/blrightbraintable.htm

but you see, even though for the most part i think i'm more right-brained, i'd like to think that i'm also left-brained at times. see, i can make the image move from clockwise to counter-clockwise and vice versa which is the funnest thing i've learned today! and also something i think i could benefit from! >:D

it was hard trying to switch brain-sides at first! when i first saw the picture, it's definitely clockwise. i even thought the image is just a joke until i asked my dad and got an opposite answer. then i read the comments and discovered that it's possible to make the girl turn the other way around. so i tried staring at a different part of the screen, with the image still on view and imagined it moving counter-clockwise. i was also drawing counter-clockwise circles with my finger to help me out. and it freaking did. the image turned counter-clockwise as my mind ordered. and when it did, it doesn't change! it took me another minute to switch my brain-side and see the girl turning clockwise as it is orginally (i mean, when i first saw it. it may vary)

and noooow, the more i try switching it. the faster the switch becomes! LOL and if that is of any significance, maybe while studying, i'll look at this image and switch to left-brain. if i need my creative juices flowing, i'll switch to right-brain. it could help. haha! but i'm still more right-brained, because i always switch to it unconsciously... a couple of minutes ago i left the picture moving counter-clockwise... i just went to the bathroom and when i came back, it's back to clockwise. lol

hehe

bwahaha! i was able to raise my midterm grade from 87.something to 90 because i searched my exam for corrections awhile ago. as in, i personally came to him to inquire about my code simply because i think there were no errors and that it deserved a perfect score. he gave me +10, still 10 points short of the perfect score for that part of the exam, but still! ok na yun! i could've bargained for a full score but he insisted that the others have the exact same code. oh well, they copied, and i let them. cost me 10 freaking points. ok lang. at least that's a 3.00. there's still room to make it higher though by experience, my final grades tend to move a step lower from the midterms. whew. more effort. aja! >:D

btw. my mom gave me her quantum pendant because i was sick. well, i felt sicker. @_@ sige, good night!