sister on call

the moment i read her text message i knew something was wrong, so i called her immediately and wasn't surprised to hear her crying on the other line. for a minute i told her to hush and wait for me at the gym. i rushed, yes, but i wasn't worried because i knew her problem was the same old problem she rants and raves about every single day. work.

i arrived at the gym after around 20 minutes, and i found her seated on the floor, locked in a cubicle at the CR. she spent the entire time waiting for me in that small cramped space, crying helplessly like a kid. i don't mean to sound indifferent, but seeing her in that state didn't make me feel sympathetic or anything. i just wanted to take her home, asap.

so i gathered her up, and forced her to tidy herself up before talking to me. she looked freaking wasted, her hair in disarray and her eyes swollen. i can't stand being with her in that state. i tell her to shut up every time she tries to speak while dressing up. i understand her anxiousness to vent her anger (i knew she was angry, she has always been), but first things first, i need her to change her clothes. i'm not being strict, it helps... you know, looking decent even when you're angry, feeling clean and all. it's one thing to make yourself look like your anger isn't consuming you. and besides, the gym is closing so she has to pack up already.

then i listen. again, i listen to everything. the saaaaame old things. her work. her position. the customers. the rude senior citizens. the metrobank cardholders. the apathetic service crews. she has a tendency to talk really harsh about them, like she wants them all dead, and it makes my heart feel heavy, like i'm one big shock absorber. i let her rant for more than an hour, while walking, while eating, while commuting home. it's her way of letting things out. so i let her be. after aaaaall the talking, she asked me, "anong gagawin ko?" 




sometimes i wonder, if someday i'll meet someone whom i can call and be there for me in an instant... like, personally! then again, da hu? and in the first place, i'm not someone who likes calling people up to be with me. i don't want to be such a hassle to my friends. i've kinda learned to solve things on my own, so i only kinda need my friends to listen when i want to share something personal, but that hardly ever happens either. most of the time kasi, i just blog about it. well, if i'm in a super problematic situation, i turn to the nearest person who could help me. natural lang naman diba?


some things i've learned about myself: i'm not needy, i'm independent, and i'm more concerned with taking care of the people i love, than being taken care of. my golly, that sounded selfless of me, but i'm really more selfish than that. uhhh, i think that's what you get when you're forced to act like the older sister. and about taking care than being taken care of.... actually, i do want to be taken care of din! i want to feel that somehow, someone aside from my family is concerned about me. kaso minsan i feel like i always end up more concerned with the person who's concerned about me. chaka ako rin naman, i hate looking like a damsel in distress or an idiot who always needs helping.

haaaay terai, kung di lang kita mahal.

osige na, this is getting long.

BWAHAHAHAHA i bought 9 news pens! hohohoho, bumili ulit ako nung isang set ng Love Pet gel pens e kasi di ko mapigilan, tapos SOOOOON! may bibilihin akong pang-drawing notebook! ung pageone na red kasi parang moleskine >:D >:D >:D excited ako!

btw, fulfilled ako kanina because i ate wasabi popcorn at tatlong isaw. >8D chka pearl milk tea with extra pearls sa zagu. chka siomai. yehey >:D

right-brained or left-brained? brain dominance test >:D

here's a really cool brain dominance test i saw earlier at plaridel's blog! >:D all you have to do is look at the image above and tell whether the girl is turning clockwise or counter-clockwise. i'm not sure if blogger supports .gif, but i do hope the image is moving >:]

if it's not moving, just refer to this entry: http://plaridel.wordpress.com/2009/02/15/right-brain-vs-left-brain/

if you see it moving clockwise, you're right-brained; otherwise, left. 

anyways. i've taken brain dominance tests before and i'm always right-brained. they say right-brained people are more intuitive than analytical. left-brained people however, speaks otherwise. right-brained people are more logical and organized and so on... the list goes on... maybe you can check this out: http://painting.about.com/library/blpaint/blrightbraintable.htm

but you see, even though for the most part i think i'm more right-brained, i'd like to think that i'm also left-brained at times. see, i can make the image move from clockwise to counter-clockwise and vice versa which is the funnest thing i've learned today! and also something i think i could benefit from! >:D

it was hard trying to switch brain-sides at first! when i first saw the picture, it's definitely clockwise. i even thought the image is just a joke until i asked my dad and got an opposite answer. then i read the comments and discovered that it's possible to make the girl turn the other way around. so i tried staring at a different part of the screen, with the image still on view and imagined it moving counter-clockwise. i was also drawing counter-clockwise circles with my finger to help me out. and it freaking did. the image turned counter-clockwise as my mind ordered. and when it did, it doesn't change! it took me another minute to switch my brain-side and see the girl turning clockwise as it is orginally (i mean, when i first saw it. it may vary)

and noooow, the more i try switching it. the faster the switch becomes! LOL and if that is of any significance, maybe while studying, i'll look at this image and switch to left-brain. if i need my creative juices flowing, i'll switch to right-brain. it could help. haha! but i'm still more right-brained, because i always switch to it unconsciously... a couple of minutes ago i left the picture moving counter-clockwise... i just went to the bathroom and when i came back, it's back to clockwise. lol

hehe

bwahaha! i was able to raise my midterm grade from 87.something to 90 because i searched my exam for corrections awhile ago. as in, i personally came to him to inquire about my code simply because i think there were no errors and that it deserved a perfect score. he gave me +10, still 10 points short of the perfect score for that part of the exam, but still! ok na yun! i could've bargained for a full score but he insisted that the others have the exact same code. oh well, they copied, and i let them. cost me 10 freaking points. ok lang. at least that's a 3.00. there's still room to make it higher though by experience, my final grades tend to move a step lower from the midterms. whew. more effort. aja! >:D

btw. my mom gave me her quantum pendant because i was sick. well, i felt sicker. @_@ sige, good night!

@_@

while waiting for 1pm ...

i don't know how i ended up sick, but i'm sick anyways and it frakking sucks... and to add up to the mounting reasons for depression i'm having today, i got a really low midterm grade at 4GL. 87.something. yes, that's a biggie. especially if i'm struggling for scholarship. what the hell is happening to me. highest in our class is 89... i guess.

it rained awhile ago! it was even foggy @_@ ang weird talaga. whether that was a result of cloud seeding (artificial rain) or a real natural phenomenon, i couldn't care less. point is, it rained. >:D thank you Lord!
you know what. one of the things i'm excited for, is getting over my first love. yeah, like it's some sort of a tragedy awaiting to be written. that's what i wanna do about it, write. make poems, create a story. just let it aaaaall out... well, when it's over. and i promised not to tell anyone about it. no one  will know who he is until i get a boyfriend. he, at least, won't. wahaha! it's one big love story. most probably a sad one, but that's why i wanna write about when i'm happy, so that everything i've written will be accounted to my memories, to the past. >:)

same stuff from last year! >:D

TEN THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD SAY TO 10 DIFFERENT PEOPLE

10. i miss you so much, hope we could hang out sometime! >:(
9. i need my dress back. pleaaaase? >:(
8. i miss you too! wish we could talk like before. if i could only fly there huuuh
7. i trust you as a friend. but i don't think i can trust you as a boyfriend.
6. why do you keep on denying it? right when i'm so sure about it! >:P you know what, if what you said earlier was true, then you must've known how it felt when i was in your place, doing the exact denials you do!
5. i just want to see you!
4. it sucks that i have to pretend that i'm still super inlike with you, just to cover up something else. second time it happened. :(
3. i wish you'd stop trying to befriend me. you look foolish
2. i think i should get paid for my services! i'm like your personal math tutor and art projects specialist. it gets tiring to ya know!
1. i'm simply not called for it yet. i can't do what you want. sorry.


NINE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF

9. i like drawing/doodling
8. mahilig ako sa mga nakasalamin :D
7. i love reading romance novels
6. i like going out and not spending >:D
5. i love classical music
4. parati akong online, lalo pag gabi
3. i bite my nails
2. di ako marunong magbike. heh loser. pero gusto ko matuto
1. i love swimming! chka tennis cge.

EIGHT WAYS TO WIN YOUR HEART

8. be a close friend (muna)
7. be a romantic! haha hopeless ako e bakit ba? yung traditional, flowers, chocolate... pero mas ok kung libro or USB haha basta functional. giiiifts shempre. siomai din. >:P
6. samahan mo ko kung san san. sa LB dude! let's traveeeeeel!
5. matalino!
4. masayaaaa?
3. banana-q. saba con yelo. turon. banana cake. isaw >:P
2. be a gentleman
1. be a Christian, or at least God-fearing. pwede isama sa Church :)


SEVEN THINGS THAT CROSS YOUR MIND A LOT

7. him :)
6. 2012
5. summer!
4. may something! (as in april, may, june!) >:P
3. him ulit!
2. isa pang him!
1. future?

SIX STUPID THINGS YOU WANT TO HAPPEN TO YOU BEFORE YOU DIE

6. meet a friendly alien! oo kailangan talaga to mangyari
5. see a UFO! >8D
4. lahat ng naging majorcrush ko, ligawan ako! oha >:)))))
3. win an olympic gold in swimming! or maggrandslam sa lahat ng tennis opens. oha. stupid tlga! di naman ako marunong eh hahaha
2. bungee jump! >8D
1. travel the whooooole world.


FIVE TURN OFFs

5. emo, hiphop
4. mayabang na know-it-all
3. mabisyo. smoking, drinking, cursing...
2. earrings/peircings/tatoo.
1. playboy


FOUR TURN ONs

4. intelligent at may sense
3. matangkaaaaaaad! (ay hindi rin pala)
2. athletic (kahit basket lang? wag lang sumo)
1. naka-salamin! well, weakness to e. >:P

THREE SMILES THAT DESCRIBE YOUR LIFE

3. >:)
2. >:))
1. >:|


TWO THINGS YOU WISH YOU NEVER DID

2. ewan
1. ewan

ONE CONFESSION
the first time i fell in love, i cried about it everyday for 1 week. >:P

bonday with terai!

hurrraaaay for my jumpshot! well, there's more but i either looked like i was falling from a cliff or was pushed by some imaginary force from behind. either way, they looked crappy so i'm saving them for multiply sometime this week. hehehe terai doesn't want her jumpshots published but i will... soon. haha

that was at MoA btw. we didn't push through LB cos her meeting took 5 freaking hours! and i waited for around 2 hours at jollibee. which was good cos i was finally able to finish The Choice! grabe maaaaan, sobrang sakit ng dibdib ko! i wanted to cry so bad but i was in a public place and i didn't order anything at jollibee so nakkahiya naman magskandalo don. and i just put on eyeliner, thought it was too early to make a mess of myself. yon.

i missed spending the entire day out with my sister! and although we pretty talked about the same thing, her job and my crushes... what's cool is that err...we're in a different place?. uhh, not really. :P it was a very spontaneous day! MoA was out of the plan, i just thought of sm north, alice in wonderland, taters popcorn and siomai, but she suggested MoA! and we ended up with zagu, siomai, kfc and DQ! aaaaaall her treat! >:D >:D

oha! we were so tired after the jumpshooting haha. aba e ang hirap i-rehearse! timing is really the keeeey! one-two-press-jump! >:D best jumpshoot ever. no one is too heavy for a jumpshot! >:D

hmm... sige tulog na ko! >:D

crush ko parin pala sya after all... well, after i read his poem na mejo magulo pero cool kasi it's about God. >:) sana hindi na sya magyosi. >:(

haaaaaaay. ang sakit cos we can't beeeee. hintay naman kasi no!!!! >:(

right

i was wondering how people would react to it, but i end up unconscious about it... like i don't care what they think. everything comes naturally, so what is there to suspect? and though i sometimes wonder if we really give that impression, i can't put my finger on it, i have a lot of reasons to doubt. and i think they're enough to conclude there's nothing going on. duh? it's all in your mind folks.
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they say scorpios are jealous. freaaaking right. i'm too jealous but i always find a way to contain it. after all, i don't know how to bitch out like most jealous people do. aaah, anyway...

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if i could avoid it, i'd never walk alone at mapayapa 3 EVERRR. even in the afternoon. the tricycle driver maaaan. you know kuya 556? or 566? i don't remember but that's the number of his tricycle. he was the one who gave me a free ride the first time, then joked that i didn't pay the second time we met, and this afternoon as i was nearing the terminal, he was waving at me like crazy. i laughed at the sight. it looked so stupid. it also gave me the chills. and he was joking that he'd send me home tomorrow. creepy. buti na lang wala akong pasok bukas... and i only have to worry about (and avoid) him on tuesdays, wednesdays and fridays. fuck that's a lot of days. @_@ my golly. tae, ayoko sumakay sa kanya. ayoko na rin syang makita. sa pinkian na lang ako dadaan. LOL and he looks like one of my classmates. you know B? from the previous post? haynako epal.

alam ko na, i'll learn how to drive then i'll bring a car. >:D sounds good.