@_@

while waiting for 1pm ...

i don't know how i ended up sick, but i'm sick anyways and it frakking sucks... and to add up to the mounting reasons for depression i'm having today, i got a really low midterm grade at 4GL. 87.something. yes, that's a biggie. especially if i'm struggling for scholarship. what the hell is happening to me. highest in our class is 89... i guess.

it rained awhile ago! it was even foggy @_@ ang weird talaga. whether that was a result of cloud seeding (artificial rain) or a real natural phenomenon, i couldn't care less. point is, it rained. >:D thank you Lord!
you know what. one of the things i'm excited for, is getting over my first love. yeah, like it's some sort of a tragedy awaiting to be written. that's what i wanna do about it, write. make poems, create a story. just let it aaaaall out... well, when it's over. and i promised not to tell anyone about it. no one  will know who he is until i get a boyfriend. he, at least, won't. wahaha! it's one big love story. most probably a sad one, but that's why i wanna write about when i'm happy, so that everything i've written will be accounted to my memories, to the past. >:)

same stuff from last year! >:D

TEN THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD SAY TO 10 DIFFERENT PEOPLE

10. i miss you so much, hope we could hang out sometime! >:(
9. i need my dress back. pleaaaase? >:(
8. i miss you too! wish we could talk like before. if i could only fly there huuuh
7. i trust you as a friend. but i don't think i can trust you as a boyfriend.
6. why do you keep on denying it? right when i'm so sure about it! >:P you know what, if what you said earlier was true, then you must've known how it felt when i was in your place, doing the exact denials you do!
5. i just want to see you!
4. it sucks that i have to pretend that i'm still super inlike with you, just to cover up something else. second time it happened. :(
3. i wish you'd stop trying to befriend me. you look foolish
2. i think i should get paid for my services! i'm like your personal math tutor and art projects specialist. it gets tiring to ya know!
1. i'm simply not called for it yet. i can't do what you want. sorry.


NINE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF

9. i like drawing/doodling
8. mahilig ako sa mga nakasalamin :D
7. i love reading romance novels
6. i like going out and not spending >:D
5. i love classical music
4. parati akong online, lalo pag gabi
3. i bite my nails
2. di ako marunong magbike. heh loser. pero gusto ko matuto
1. i love swimming! chka tennis cge.

EIGHT WAYS TO WIN YOUR HEART

8. be a close friend (muna)
7. be a romantic! haha hopeless ako e bakit ba? yung traditional, flowers, chocolate... pero mas ok kung libro or USB haha basta functional. giiiifts shempre. siomai din. >:P
6. samahan mo ko kung san san. sa LB dude! let's traveeeeeel!
5. matalino!
4. masayaaaa?
3. banana-q. saba con yelo. turon. banana cake. isaw >:P
2. be a gentleman
1. be a Christian, or at least God-fearing. pwede isama sa Church :)


SEVEN THINGS THAT CROSS YOUR MIND A LOT

7. him :)
6. 2012
5. summer!
4. may something! (as in april, may, june!) >:P
3. him ulit!
2. isa pang him!
1. future?

SIX STUPID THINGS YOU WANT TO HAPPEN TO YOU BEFORE YOU DIE

6. meet a friendly alien! oo kailangan talaga to mangyari
5. see a UFO! >8D
4. lahat ng naging majorcrush ko, ligawan ako! oha >:)))))
3. win an olympic gold in swimming! or maggrandslam sa lahat ng tennis opens. oha. stupid tlga! di naman ako marunong eh hahaha
2. bungee jump! >8D
1. travel the whooooole world.


FIVE TURN OFFs

5. emo, hiphop
4. mayabang na know-it-all
3. mabisyo. smoking, drinking, cursing...
2. earrings/peircings/tatoo.
1. playboy


FOUR TURN ONs

4. intelligent at may sense
3. matangkaaaaaaad! (ay hindi rin pala)
2. athletic (kahit basket lang? wag lang sumo)
1. naka-salamin! well, weakness to e. >:P

THREE SMILES THAT DESCRIBE YOUR LIFE

3. >:)
2. >:))
1. >:|


TWO THINGS YOU WISH YOU NEVER DID

2. ewan
1. ewan

ONE CONFESSION
the first time i fell in love, i cried about it everyday for 1 week. >:P

bonday with terai!

hurrraaaay for my jumpshot! well, there's more but i either looked like i was falling from a cliff or was pushed by some imaginary force from behind. either way, they looked crappy so i'm saving them for multiply sometime this week. hehehe terai doesn't want her jumpshots published but i will... soon. haha

that was at MoA btw. we didn't push through LB cos her meeting took 5 freaking hours! and i waited for around 2 hours at jollibee. which was good cos i was finally able to finish The Choice! grabe maaaaan, sobrang sakit ng dibdib ko! i wanted to cry so bad but i was in a public place and i didn't order anything at jollibee so nakkahiya naman magskandalo don. and i just put on eyeliner, thought it was too early to make a mess of myself. yon.

i missed spending the entire day out with my sister! and although we pretty talked about the same thing, her job and my crushes... what's cool is that err...we're in a different place?. uhh, not really. :P it was a very spontaneous day! MoA was out of the plan, i just thought of sm north, alice in wonderland, taters popcorn and siomai, but she suggested MoA! and we ended up with zagu, siomai, kfc and DQ! aaaaaall her treat! >:D >:D

oha! we were so tired after the jumpshooting haha. aba e ang hirap i-rehearse! timing is really the keeeey! one-two-press-jump! >:D best jumpshoot ever. no one is too heavy for a jumpshot! >:D

hmm... sige tulog na ko! >:D

crush ko parin pala sya after all... well, after i read his poem na mejo magulo pero cool kasi it's about God. >:) sana hindi na sya magyosi. >:(

haaaaaaay. ang sakit cos we can't beeeee. hintay naman kasi no!!!! >:(

right

i was wondering how people would react to it, but i end up unconscious about it... like i don't care what they think. everything comes naturally, so what is there to suspect? and though i sometimes wonder if we really give that impression, i can't put my finger on it, i have a lot of reasons to doubt. and i think they're enough to conclude there's nothing going on. duh? it's all in your mind folks.
---
they say scorpios are jealous. freaaaking right. i'm too jealous but i always find a way to contain it. after all, i don't know how to bitch out like most jealous people do. aaah, anyway...

---
if i could avoid it, i'd never walk alone at mapayapa 3 EVERRR. even in the afternoon. the tricycle driver maaaan. you know kuya 556? or 566? i don't remember but that's the number of his tricycle. he was the one who gave me a free ride the first time, then joked that i didn't pay the second time we met, and this afternoon as i was nearing the terminal, he was waving at me like crazy. i laughed at the sight. it looked so stupid. it also gave me the chills. and he was joking that he'd send me home tomorrow. creepy. buti na lang wala akong pasok bukas... and i only have to worry about (and avoid) him on tuesdays, wednesdays and fridays. fuck that's a lot of days. @_@ my golly. tae, ayoko sumakay sa kanya. ayoko na rin syang makita. sa pinkian na lang ako dadaan. LOL and he looks like one of my classmates. you know B? from the previous post? haynako epal.

alam ko na, i'll learn how to drive then i'll bring a car. >:D sounds good.

♥

maybe it's love, maybe it's something else. either way, it remains a very special feeling. something i've never felt before. something that lingers every single day. whether i'll wait or give up isn't a necessary decision to make, either way, he'll never know. he's not aware how well he breaks my heart.
----
reading romance novels make me yearn so much. when i read Confessions of a Shopaholic, i wanted my own Luke Brandon. now that i'm reading The Choice, i want my own Travis Parker. of all the leading guys i've read about, Travis Parker has the best character. maybe because of the fact that he's already at the 'settling' stage. you know, looking for a potential wife to a raise a family with.... so he's done with all the play dates and is taking love seriously. yeah, i'll get there... someday. i like it when a man thinks about his future, his wife, kids and job. ♥
----
someone told me i have to groom myself better, like a girl. comb my hair and wear skirt.
i don't know why i still get those, i think i'm girly enough. @_@ have you seen my vanity kit? i have two blush-ons, a lipgloss, lipstick, mirror, face powder, ointment and a hair clip! and believe it or not, i use them all! hahaha is it my problem if my skin eats them?

but you knooow, i'm getting there! i'm gonna have my hair relaxed and my hair cut short so i don't have to iron it everyday. and maybe i'll wear a skirt next school year. yes, maybe.
----
ah! and i thought my php midterm exam didn't run! but guess what? our class had a retake awhile ago and i was exempted, along with brian (timing na timing ang absent mo) and erni. sir says we're perfect na daw! yeheeey! 4 out of 6! awesome. just awesome.

RA you're my saviooooor! thank you! >:D
----
LB this saturday! >:D

everything worth waiting is worth having

but you know it gets really frustrating at times. i feel like i'm lagging too far behind my generation now. whenever my friends talk about it, i just keep wondering to myself. what do i lack to merit some sort of admiration? then i end up not caring, since i wouldn't be able to do anything about it anyway. so what if you like me now? if you can still say that after two years, i'd go for you. but at least it's good to know right? everyone needs assurance that despite everything, someone out there likes you for who you are. but friendship is my only freaking gauge, i can't do without it.

i'm supposed to be doing a project right now. haha

:)

grrr. i should remind myself not to put too much effort on design if i'm working under time pressure lest my code gets really messed up. our php midterms awhile ago was... ewan... fail? i'm pretty sure i'll fail that part. maaaan, that was an exam! and i left my usb, which sucked big time cos i have 3 important files in there.. to be passed tomorrow. i should've gone back earlier to get it. sana andun pa bukas. :(( haynako. that was depressing. really, the smallest things depress me now, especially if it's about acads. i actually like it that i'm being super grade conscious.

good news! i got perfect on both of my midterm exams on data structures and rizal. that's good news, yeah. but nothing worth noting for cos data structure was really easy, everyone got a high score. and sorry, but i was really expecting a perfect score. rizal on the other hand made me soooo frakking guilty. you know why. i intentionally left some mistakes but they were overridden by the bonus points and the corrected items, so i got more than a hundred percent for that. what made me sink deeper in my chair was that our prof was so proud and asked the class to clap for me. every clapping hand felt like a sting to my conscience. but then again, everyone was guilty.  most of the class got high scores.

tomorrow will probably be a bad day. i remember being so disoriented the night i was studying english and 4GL, so my exams definitely perished because of that. i'm just waiting for the results. =____=;

terai and i promised each other we'd pay a visit to LB this saturday, but then, if we both get too lazy, we'll probably not push through. but i want to! i wanted to document LB for the last time. visit tita beth, tita imelda, eat janges cheeseburger and choco banana shake, see freedom park and experience HM for the last time. i super miss LB. :(

right.

PS: i was talking with someone awhile ago and couldn't help admiring him, because right after graduation, he landed a well compensating job and is very happy with it. someday i'll be like that, especially with the happy part! wahaha! we weren't able to talk a lot cos he has to prepare for tomorrow, but i felt guilty, not being able to bond with him when were still at the campus, declining coffee treats because it sounded like we're gonna date, and that made me feel awkward. i felt bad having to make excuses just to avoid being alone with him. and the rumors too (why do easily fall for rumors?). ha. ha. ha. ha. i could only imagine if i had accepted the offer... free coffee, and a good friend. i never saw that back then, did i? i was too busy trying to turn him off. >:|

PS2: currently reading, The Choice by Nicholas Sparks. good read so faaaar! nakaka-kilig! ♥