ready :)

ah, now i know why i'm afraid. because i don't know what it is. it's the fear of the unknown that keeps me from exploring further. and now, now that i finally know how it feels and what it means, i can finally say i'm ready! yehey! i'm ready to take risks! :) but for now i'll just keep on waiting. :)

this afternoon, i cried. again, for the 6th time, for the same reason. it sure feels liberating the more i get used to it, you know, crying it all out, looking like a complete waste in front of my cheeseburger... and my friend. so tomorrow, i promise not to cry again for the same reason. the more i think about it, the more i feel hopeless.

i feel fake acting normal when i'm burdened like this. what can i do? i've never encountered this before. >:\

don't ask why nga pala. cos i won't tell. hohoho

and so i'll wait. :)

hahaha oks!

ready to take risks.

it's for the best

for the betterment of my burdened mind, i'll just forget about it. forget about everything and focus on the MIDTERMS. @_@ waaaah midterms! O____O;

ARAAAAAY!!!!!

picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. mas maganda ko sa kanya. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon.

haynako. stalk kasi ng stalk.

ay

the pretend job interview turned out to be really stressful than expected. sir lloyd interviewed me.. the questions weren't hard but i was fidgeting like crazy. after the QnA portion he commented on the way i answered... the biggest comment i received was that i kept on switching tenses every now and then. past to future, present to future blah blah blah and that my thoughts were fragmented, it seemed like i was throwing five different answers at him at the same time

i liked him so much because he instantly knew what my probems were just by asking three questions (why our company? biggest weakness? the other one, i forgot!). 1) switching of tenses -- i get that a lot of times back when i was still writing fanfiction. i swear, i wanted to fix that but i didn't know where to start because i couldn't recognize it in the first place. help? 2) fragmented thoughts -- sir lloyd said i have to practice constructing a paragraph in my mind, and that i also have to unite my thoughts so there's cohesiveness in my ideas. that's the biggest reason why most of the time my entries are in bullets.

i wanted to fix those problems, promise! how how? >:|

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by the way, i slept for 14 hours straight last night! hahahaha

hey, i dreamt of being in love with this friend of mine, but i was helping him court another girl daw. then i was crying like crazy. i woke up with a heavy feeling in my heart and all i could ever think was, oh my God that's probably the most painful feeling in the world, then i wondered about him... why him? do i really feel that way  for him, after all? hindi ko alam. masyadong masakit yung pakiramdam. T___T;;

haha, and because i slept for 14 hours straight... i'll probably hit the gym the later. whew, at last!

thank you Lord because i just received my second paycheck yesterday, swelday! haha :P
it's all for you. >:)

uhm hello! >:D

i feel so sleeeeepy but i still have to do something about 4thglan haaaaaay.

you know what, sometimes i think i talk about my crushes like i'm actually in love but i just won't admit it because i have standards. then again, they're made to be ruined eh diba. love kinda ruins every logical foundation you've built your beliefs in. but still, i'm not in love. wahaha scorpios have a tendency to get really obsessed and i'm not an exception. hahaha

anyway, ever since the play i kinda see him everywhere, with everyone... i know. which really made me think, am i the only one he's not acquainted with? ok fine, everyone knows him. parang ayoko ng ganon. hahaha

good news... see this?

i made this on a close deadline for a logo making contest erni prompted me about. that was hand-drawn and scanned but i also made a digital version of this one, but i don't know how to soften the edges so that's the better version already.

i won... i think? cos erni said he could give me the cash price already. which is a bit small but it's okay! i mean, yey! i'm making money out of something i'm genuinely passionate about! haha

that's really good news for me. i mean, 2 weeks, 2 artworks. both winners. i wish i was a top-rated artist so i could charge bigger with the works (as if!). but really, i've come to understand how it doesn't matter how it doesn't matter how you're being compensated as long as you're passionate and happy about your job.

yeah, but as much as possible you try to convert your passion into a currency para mas fulfilling diba? HAHAHA

etpl

#1) lilibre mo ba ako? dami mo cash prize eh :D
oba >;P

LOL

Nothing came for me during the 5 months he was absent, that was sort of like a recovery period for me. No new crush, nothing at all, I just did my best in my subjects (which when translated into UP vocab would amount to mediocre) and luckily I was able to catch up with the regular batch. So that time, I tried joining an organization. There I met, Mr. Ideal Guy. He's the guy i've been talking about randomly in this blog... the one who wears glasses, has an undeniably high IQ, is an artist, the one who does well in his acads, and best of all... a Christian.

But then... has wasn't a majorcrush for me, he just struck me big time because all i ever wanted in a guy is in him. but oddly enough, he didn't give the sparks, he didn't make me nervous, his presence didn't stress my inner organs. he was simply... someone i'm extremely fascinated with. someone i enjoyed working with, especially when it comes to artistic stuff. his presence makes me feel light. maybe it's his freaking spirituality oozing out. haha ewan.

you know what, there's one memory of him i'll never forget...

one time i was making a business out of my artworks. i'm making custom laminated cards with people's name on it. i advertised it on multiply using a photo album entitled, 'help arianne rule the world!' where my sample artworks were displayed. when we met the next time, over the customary org handshake, he said "i will help you rule the world". those freakin words, i don't know, but they made me feel so light and happy. he'll help me rule the world? hey, i'm having my first minion for world domination! and we've sealed it with a handshake! LOL i felt like all the aliens rejoiced, there were fireworks in mars and every UFO were doing exhibitions in space.

it was the coolest and most heartwarming response i've ever had. yeah. >;P

because i thought he was weird, and i like weird people, i let him borrow my book called 'The Odd Brain', it's a little technical, but i thought it fits him hahaha, until now i haven't gotten the book from him yet, and i have no plans to... for now. i want the book back, yeah. but i dunno. hahaha

ok, as far as my stalking is concerned, he has the neatest handwriting a guy could ever have. he's a scorpio (yehey?) and we share the same province (like, one jeepney away). haha hahaha hahahahaha

-------

why am i writing this? onga pala it's feb! i like looking back at the days i'm so heavily heartstruck. memoriessss, yeheeeey.

by the way, i had a good good day. i didn't spend anything on pamasahe cos daddy drove me to school this morning, nilibre ako ni brian pa-FCM, and terai took care of the jeepney fare for me. then we ate at YOSHINOYA. yumyumyum. favorite resto ever! >:D

i remember when i was still in LB, everytime i go home i'll stop at sm megamall to eat dinner at yoshi! HAHAHAHAHA chicken teriyaki, miso soup, green tea, red gingerrrrr yuuuummmmmyyyy!!! >XD

okok goodnight! >:D