ay

the pretend job interview turned out to be really stressful than expected. sir lloyd interviewed me.. the questions weren't hard but i was fidgeting like crazy. after the QnA portion he commented on the way i answered... the biggest comment i received was that i kept on switching tenses every now and then. past to future, present to future blah blah blah and that my thoughts were fragmented, it seemed like i was throwing five different answers at him at the same time

i liked him so much because he instantly knew what my probems were just by asking three questions (why our company? biggest weakness? the other one, i forgot!). 1) switching of tenses -- i get that a lot of times back when i was still writing fanfiction. i swear, i wanted to fix that but i didn't know where to start because i couldn't recognize it in the first place. help? 2) fragmented thoughts -- sir lloyd said i have to practice constructing a paragraph in my mind, and that i also have to unite my thoughts so there's cohesiveness in my ideas. that's the biggest reason why most of the time my entries are in bullets.

i wanted to fix those problems, promise! how how? >:|

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by the way, i slept for 14 hours straight last night! hahahaha

hey, i dreamt of being in love with this friend of mine, but i was helping him court another girl daw. then i was crying like crazy. i woke up with a heavy feeling in my heart and all i could ever think was, oh my God that's probably the most painful feeling in the world, then i wondered about him... why him? do i really feel that way  for him, after all? hindi ko alam. masyadong masakit yung pakiramdam. T___T;;

haha, and because i slept for 14 hours straight... i'll probably hit the gym the later. whew, at last!

thank you Lord because i just received my second paycheck yesterday, swelday! haha :P
it's all for you. >:)

uhm hello! >:D

i feel so sleeeeepy but i still have to do something about 4thglan haaaaaay.

you know what, sometimes i think i talk about my crushes like i'm actually in love but i just won't admit it because i have standards. then again, they're made to be ruined eh diba. love kinda ruins every logical foundation you've built your beliefs in. but still, i'm not in love. wahaha scorpios have a tendency to get really obsessed and i'm not an exception. hahaha

anyway, ever since the play i kinda see him everywhere, with everyone... i know. which really made me think, am i the only one he's not acquainted with? ok fine, everyone knows him. parang ayoko ng ganon. hahaha

good news... see this?

i made this on a close deadline for a logo making contest erni prompted me about. that was hand-drawn and scanned but i also made a digital version of this one, but i don't know how to soften the edges so that's the better version already.

i won... i think? cos erni said he could give me the cash price already. which is a bit small but it's okay! i mean, yey! i'm making money out of something i'm genuinely passionate about! haha

that's really good news for me. i mean, 2 weeks, 2 artworks. both winners. i wish i was a top-rated artist so i could charge bigger with the works (as if!). but really, i've come to understand how it doesn't matter how it doesn't matter how you're being compensated as long as you're passionate and happy about your job.

yeah, but as much as possible you try to convert your passion into a currency para mas fulfilling diba? HAHAHA

etpl

#1) lilibre mo ba ako? dami mo cash prize eh :D
oba >;P

LOL

Nothing came for me during the 5 months he was absent, that was sort of like a recovery period for me. No new crush, nothing at all, I just did my best in my subjects (which when translated into UP vocab would amount to mediocre) and luckily I was able to catch up with the regular batch. So that time, I tried joining an organization. There I met, Mr. Ideal Guy. He's the guy i've been talking about randomly in this blog... the one who wears glasses, has an undeniably high IQ, is an artist, the one who does well in his acads, and best of all... a Christian.

But then... has wasn't a majorcrush for me, he just struck me big time because all i ever wanted in a guy is in him. but oddly enough, he didn't give the sparks, he didn't make me nervous, his presence didn't stress my inner organs. he was simply... someone i'm extremely fascinated with. someone i enjoyed working with, especially when it comes to artistic stuff. his presence makes me feel light. maybe it's his freaking spirituality oozing out. haha ewan.

you know what, there's one memory of him i'll never forget...

one time i was making a business out of my artworks. i'm making custom laminated cards with people's name on it. i advertised it on multiply using a photo album entitled, 'help arianne rule the world!' where my sample artworks were displayed. when we met the next time, over the customary org handshake, he said "i will help you rule the world". those freakin words, i don't know, but they made me feel so light and happy. he'll help me rule the world? hey, i'm having my first minion for world domination! and we've sealed it with a handshake! LOL i felt like all the aliens rejoiced, there were fireworks in mars and every UFO were doing exhibitions in space.

it was the coolest and most heartwarming response i've ever had. yeah. >;P

because i thought he was weird, and i like weird people, i let him borrow my book called 'The Odd Brain', it's a little technical, but i thought it fits him hahaha, until now i haven't gotten the book from him yet, and i have no plans to... for now. i want the book back, yeah. but i dunno. hahaha

ok, as far as my stalking is concerned, he has the neatest handwriting a guy could ever have. he's a scorpio (yehey?) and we share the same province (like, one jeepney away). haha hahaha hahahahaha

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why am i writing this? onga pala it's feb! i like looking back at the days i'm so heavily heartstruck. memoriessss, yeheeeey.

by the way, i had a good good day. i didn't spend anything on pamasahe cos daddy drove me to school this morning, nilibre ako ni brian pa-FCM, and terai took care of the jeepney fare for me. then we ate at YOSHINOYA. yumyumyum. favorite resto ever! >:D

i remember when i was still in LB, everytime i go home i'll stop at sm megamall to eat dinner at yoshi! HAHAHAHAHA chicken teriyaki, miso soup, green tea, red gingerrrrr yuuuummmmmyyyy!!! >XD

okok goodnight! >:D

feu-fern: upbeat and personal

the winning poster. lol. it's pretty light! haha

cma

it was called instant attraction. he's all too attractive for his own good. deep set eyes, thick eyebrows, red lips, a pointed nose and ashen skin. and even though that might struck him as gay looking, i can guarantee he couldn't even pass as a metrosexual.

i was way lucky to find out he's on 5 of my classes, shares the same course and batch with me, and live on the same street outside the campus. yeah, that was me doing my investigative job (aka stalking). i also found out he's a virgo, which made things more astronomically romantic. lol

anyway, it couldn't be helped that we become friends, after all, we see each other everyday. ever since then, we start walking home together. i keep my silence as usual, because i'm the type of person who gets really tense inside when my crush is within 5 yards hahaha.

my admiration for him grew when he answered one of my very hard algebra homeworks. when i asked him about it, he immediately set his pen on my notebook and gave me the right answer in less than a minute. it's the best package i could ask for, looks and brains! i also learned  he got percentile ranks of 98 and 99 on math and science respectively on the UPCAT and graduated from a science highschool. at that time he's holding 2 scholarships. i couldn't imagine how intelligent he is. and he never boasts about it. also, he's not even aware that he looks so damn good and wouldn't make an effort on it.

and so our friendship grew, though it was hard on my part to be really myself cos you know how it goes in my freaking nervous system.

he's a gentleman too, which made me fall even more. one time when we were walking, he stopped and asked me if he was walking too fast. of course i said no, but he still slowed down. honestly, if i'm with a guy, i never liked walking behind, so i always try to keep pace. sometimes he would ask if we could jog together, but i would freakin decline, i frakking don't know why. i'm too shy i guess. so whenever he jogs, he'll leave his apartment keys to me and just get it back on his way home. i remember my favorite subject during that time was PE because the class is held at the farthest building from our dorm so it's going to be a long walk home with him ♥

one time i found him recruiting members for their sorrority, i asked him if i could join too but he said not now cos it's going to be extremely physical. whether he doesn't want me to join because i could get hurt or he thinks i'm too weak for a sorority, i never knew. since then, i never considered joining one.

the feeling i get when he's around is really remarkable, cos it's the first time i fell this hard for a guy. i thought he was a lifesaver, because falling for him meant I'M NOT A LESBIAN, which i thought i was after graduating from an all-girls school and crushing over a girl two years my senior...for two freakin years. it was a total relief having to find out that i'm straight, after all.

but you know, i didn't know what happened. the last few months of that semester turned me off. he gets absent frequently and doesn't show up in exams. i tried asking him why he's not attending classes anymore and he just said, "nakakatamad na eh." he's academic standing declined, and i became his source of information of what happened at class, though he's not really doing anything about it. he simply lost the motivation to study. i never knew why.

his attitude towards school was the turning point of my feelings for him. i want to get him back on the tracks because he's too smart to quit now but i never knew how. one time when he was absent in our philo class, i looked out at the window and saw him walking with a girl with long hair, a black fitted shirt and a mini skirt. for a 16 year old girl who never knew better, it was the most hurtful day of my first semester in college. i walked home absent minded, and when i came to the dorm, i plopped myself on the sofa and just stared at the ceiling for a good hour before some kind dormmate snapped me out of it.

the semester ended, and i passed all of my subjects. i wondered about him, but only received news after a few months. i learned that he got dismissed from the university and failed to re-appeal for the next semester so he'll be out of sight for the next 5 months. i thought of contacting him to offer help, any sort, but there was no response.

the 5++ months i wasn't able to see him helped me recover. i totally lost my feelings for him and tried to focus on my studies alone. when i first saw him after a long while, i became more sociable and more open to him, the feeling of awkwardness has died down. it's what usually happens when i fall out of 'like'.

whew! come on!

this is probably the busiest week of this academic year... for me! HAHA i thought i could enjoy the foundation week sleeping all day cos there are no classes, so i only have to tend to my library duties for the whole week. pero mali pala hahaha cos the library has a LOT of activities planned as well.

i ended up having to do something everyday which drains me physically, but nevertheless i'm enjoying it naman. so far. i mean. onga pala, i won FIRST PLACE in the poster-making contest hosted by the library. LOL i couldn't believe it cos poster making meant being a master of OIL PASTEL and that's like my least favorite medium of all. my work was the lightest actually, no heavy smudging or whatever. i couldn't smudge and blend, that's why.  in fact, i used colored pens  and black marker for the most part hahaha who cares? also, that's probably the biggest artwork i've done individually, so far. that's one whole white cartolina in 2 hours dammit. >__<; anyway, i still won so that's cool! HAHAHA yehey for the cash prize!

ok. tomorrow has to be epic. i'll be at school the entire day. yes, until the concert. cos #1) awarding of dean's listers (yey!) #2) Creative Writing Seminar at the library (emcee) #3) Musical Poetry Contest at the library (emcee)

i didn't know i could emcee (honestly), until ma'm ellaine put me (and adrian) at the AoG (ambassador of goodwill) programme. the script is the key. that was kind of a good break, actually.

i don't believe people when they say i'm talented because i seriously don't think so. media is to be blamed, i grew up believing talented people are those who could sing, act and dance. otherwise, you're called artistic... which pretty much means the same thing but you know, the word 'talented' doesn't sound right when you're referring to an artist. yeah?  i dunno, really. i'm soooo sleepy. goood night. >:D

seeing juan miguel (another freaking codename for my majorcrush) doesn't scare me a lot anymore... i think so?! haha ewan. it's kind of fading... i'm not sure... i think it's too early. lol

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