LJ Brown

i like it, somehow. :) hope you do.
this is my comeback layout...
a result of mixed emotions....depression, depression depression T___T;;

wotcher.

fuck

i thought this is going to be a good comeback. but nooooooo.

i went on hiatus because i was too depressed that my laptop got stolen.
since then, i only did draft entries which i have no intention of publicizing. so technically, i didn't leave blogging.

after 9 drafts, and a month or so.... i'm back...

with swollen eyes, a foul mood and a new layout.

my application for transfer got approved. which means i can now shift/transfer to diliman.
sadly, i didn't pass diliman. i fucking didn't pass the talent test.

but dammit, i really think i deserve it. i'll kill anyone who says i don't deserve to be there. i talked to my workshop teacher and she said that panel probably failed me because i am already under a bachelor's degree and now i want to downgrade to a certificate course.

but fuck! that was the only thing i was hoping for.

i have no decent fallback.
look at them:

a. go back to elbi and continue being a freakin chemical engineering student
b. apply for honorable dismissal and take computer science at FEU-fern college
c. wait for next year's talent test and while waiting, file for residency and cross register for GE subjects at diliman....then work.

i fucking don't know what to do.

pwedeng mamatay????

=_____=;

and now my parents want me to go back to ELBI!!!! tangina.
eh ako naman, i'm considering transferring to FEU na lang since it's nearer and i could just take computer science, at least kahit mahirap... inclined naman ako.

but my freakin parents... T_T


ayoko talaga sukuan ang fine arts but with the way things are, it would be a big waste of time (for me) and money for my parents.

KUNG AKO LANG TALAGA ANG NAG-PAPAARAL SA SARILI KO, I WOULD PURSUE FINE ARTS KAHIT SAN PA KO MAKARATING.

alam nyo yun? gusto ko magtrabaho at magipon ng sariling education fund.

i'm already 18 pero wala pang direksyon ang putang inang buhay kong to.

ayoko na talaga bumalik sa elbi, ayoko na mag chem eng.

pota.


and on top of that, i didn't expect THIS to happen.

parang, i was so worried about the possibility na hindi ako palabasin ng CEAT after passing diliman. i never anticipated that the opposite would happen! and now what?


i fucking don't know what to do.
i could just die of depression you know.

for someone who has just realized what she truly wants to do in life, isang malaking sapaaaak ito para sakin. why is it that i always fail the most important tests of my life!

maybe i'm really not talented enough. or was the test too hard? i don't think i failed on that part.

most probably i failed the mental ability test. ako pa. -__-; 12 minutes, 100 items of abstract reasoning na increasing in difficulty. not my type. pero shet!

tang ina.
gusto ko mag-FEU!



pero wala kaming pera. =___=
i fucking can't stop swearing because feel so damn bad.


kung ttanggapin lang sana ng parents ko na mag-FEU na lang ako.
i would be happier.

then again, walang kaming PERAAAAAA!!!

HIATUS

because i need to clear my head.


soooo many bad things are happening to me right now, i don't know where to start narrating them all. i need time to get over these things. >____>;

this stress better make me lose weight.

maybe i'll be back after april 17. who knows.

cameraaaaaaa

i was really suspecting why the canon ixus 80is i saw at ebay costs only 9500-9700, then i learned na it's from US pala so okay na okay ako (it's really cheaper to buy there)!!! i thought it was some substandard china made product so i was really hesitant about it(lol, as if i'm gonna buy na!)

my dad and i roamed at cyberzone and i collected a whole bunch of catalogs again! like usual! hahhaha

TOSHIBA has a really cool deal right now for their first 100 buyers. they're selling a laptop for approx. 40K with THESE freebies: 160gigs HD enclosure, a cellphone and a USB (or a SD card of 2gigs, im not sure). damn, we don't need any more laptops right now, sadly. hehehe I WANT THE PORTABLE HARD DISK! >___>

woooh!
money goals? i just need 10K! and i'm off to buy a canon ixus 80is! XD

we ate at yoshi. shet, the food! i super missed eating out with my family at yoshi! XD everything became more expensive what the hell.

i saw this boutique at FCM which sells cheap plain shirts (well, it's actually part of the tiangge but then they have their own stall so it has to sound better. hehe). wholesale deals: 6 shirts for 75 each, a dozen for 65 each! tempting!!! and the fabric is stretch material!!!

i instantly got excited to put up my own shirt business. i have to learn more photoshop first! :x and of course look for a good printer. hmmm, maybe i'll do my own shirt first then see what'll become of it. hehe

OMG!!! i saw an Adobe Creative Suite 4 (Master Collection) ---adobe's latest--- at one of the tiangge's there (course it's fake) and shet, I BADLY WANT TO BUY IT IMMEDIATELY.

it has everything i freakin need! adobe photoshop cs4, premiere 4, acrobat 9, blah blah blah and some other super cool stuff i might need in the future.

i am so excited. i'm very very determined to excel in the field of art... i'm just a couple of thousands short.

money.
i need money.

and hmmm...
we're planning on enrolling at fitness first this summer. i dunno but that's already 2k! :X i need to save for a lot of things...

2k for the gym if ever.
2k for the bicol trip! i miss mamay!
and 10k for the camera.

whichever comes first. LOL

options

a. certificate in fine arts - visual communication
b. bachelor in interior design

?????

watdaaaa?!?! why do i always get the worst choices?! can't it be bachelor in fine arts ALONE?!?!?!

whew. i have the weirdest academic case. i'm giving up my current bachelor's degree for a certificate course in my preferred field of study. a certificate course. CERT! -_____-;

pride pare.
pride! iba ang pride ng bachelor's degree.
iba ang yabang ng engineering.

in fact, i've realized something. after lots of psychoanalyzing kung bkt kahit sa mga ktulad kong hindi namamayagpag ang acads ay masungit si col. sec... narealize kong may rason kung bakit kahit mga bobo ay kinukulong ng CEAT. weh!

kasi, mga uri talaga namin ang pinagyayabang nila!!! bakit ba mayabang ang ceat? kasi maraming bumabagsak. sino ba yung mga bumabagsak? ako yun! kami yun!

see?
grabe. simple logic lang pala ang dahilan nila.

but i dooooooon't care.

i have just set new goals for myself for the coming schoolyear.

by God, i will get into the certificate program of fine arts (vis com) and work on my grades (for 3 years) to reach the quota for bachelorship (no such term but you should get what it means). when i get there, i shall work for 1 more year (thesis) and earn my bachelor's degree.

sad thing is, i want to do a lot of things while in diliman. and my most anticipated exco activity would be getting into the swim team. thing is, i don't know if they accept students under the certificate program. sana nga diba.

aside from that, i want my own business. i want to earn while in college. that would be tremendously helpful because i'm excited to get a digital camera, those steadler felt tip pens, a whole bunch of charcoal pens, a set of kurecolor pens (which comes in a 1000+ each!!!!) AND A TABLET.

then there's the BS ID thing. it's equally tempting because it's a bachelor's degree and it's INTERIOR DESIGNING. freakin cool. since i gathered that my family couldn't get enough fortune to bring me to PSID (which i just concluded myself)...this came as a feasible option to me as well. and i heard that that their only grade requirement is 2.50 CWA. works well for me.

whatever happens. i shall graduate. whew.

i waaaaaant!!!!

canon ixus 80 IS

found a bnew one at ebay for only 9700. bat ang cheap?!?!

okay. ipon ipon muna... XD

ay nako!

trying hard ka! trying haaaaard!!!!
wag kang pa impress! ayoko sayo. >____>

you're not the one i want to conquer the world with. hehehe maybe not this world. haha that's reserved for someone else. :/

currently listening to: your universe - rico blanco.
as in the whole album! hahaha i like! especially yugto! super ganda ng lyrics! wooh! kaso may mga conyo songs! wattabout pero keri naman ni rico. weh. XD