anything to help me sober up

i think i drank too much last night. :) i apologize for being such a pain in the ass to my roomates who carefully escorted me from the square to my room. see, i still remember! the thing is, i'm not sure if i WAS really drunk. i mean, doesn't the fact that i remember things makes being drunk null and void? or is it something along the lines of aware-but-not-in-control thing? oh, i'll take the latter.


i know, i know. i was tipsy. i felt that. i felt my head go super light, my perspective moving round and round and damn was it nice.

to tell you honestly, it was my first time to feel that way... to feel almost drunk and in denial. and again, it was nice.

it's exactly the kind of feeling problematic people seek. and it's just about the best thing i felt in this whole week. i laughed a lot. and i realized that even though you can get a few good laughs for free, the best laughs always comes with a drink or two.

i don't want to sound like i'm morphing into an alcoholic but man, i appreciate alcohol now... more than ever.

and you know what?
i threw up a couple of times at home and i couldn't sleep and it sucks (in a good way) because i am aware of what's happening, of what i'm doing, yet i seem out of control.

but you see, me being out of control isn't really the 'out-of-control' thing you'd expect from other people, i'm not violent, i guess i'm talkative but my being out-of-control was tolerable. at least during that time i think i am kind of tolerable. i'm not a hardcore drinker after all, and you cannot subject me into haing wild tendencies. ;)

and i have a fckdmt math midterms the day after and i have another freakin exam the day after that.

i can't explain how i felt last night anymore, but i don't regret what happened. :)

and noooow?
i just came back from our midterms, it was so-so... i am expecting a passing grade. well, i know i will pass. hopefuly, i mean... i wasn't able to get more than 2 hours of review! wtf! :|

and tomorrow will probably be the crappiest day of my life.
you got my next exam to blame for that.

secondhand serenade

lol. emo!
i hate the word. it sounds cheap. i'm gravely sorry but the word emo, doesn't appeal to me that much. it seems overrated, overused, abused... yeah, mainstream, for a lack of a gentler term. -___-;

i just got back from lb square with itchel, i had to convince her to go with me because she didn't want to eat dinner, and i wanted to drink but what the hell is one company? and someone who doesn't drink, on top of that? but good grace, i enjoyed this night. :) after our blasted laboratory exam, i already planned that tonight i'll be having a glass of beer to quench my crave.

and it did yeah, though i kind of have to budget even this stupid drinking allowance because i'm living in poverty for the whole semester. i couldn't even lay my good ol hands on a redhorse, or something harsher, something...

well, i need something that kicks hard, aside from failing grades and the stupid reality in general.

i'm not drunk. well, i was never.

ok for the most part, i liked this day because i got to laugh a lot... during lab and after the exam. it waaaas nice. :)

haha, oh... here is my only major grievance about the org. i don't seem to find enough people whom i can just party and drink with... WITHOUT all the bullshit acads. oh come on, i'm not up for a study group. but give me a break, i need REAAAAL friends. who party.

another org perhaps?
gosh, that's like trailing off of my league because i'm reserving varsity for next sem and i can't probably divide myself into fractions with all the load. :)
but for once, i want to do something i'm inclined to! swimming! drawing! menial sidelines that mean a lot... oh damn it. i don't belong here in the first place.

back to the title: i got a few songs from SHS and they were nice... they're very emotional... emoooo. hehe

btw, it's the second time this sem that i encountered something i could trade a passing grade with RIGHT before the exam. on a note, that's quite phenomenal, to actually be THAT shallow to trade a passing grade with something that doesn't amount to any ordinal value... but you see, i was too happy while taking the exam awhile ago that i didn't care of the right answers.

last time it happened (rather, the first), i DID fail that exam. but because i was toooo happy to care, i let it pass. now it's up for the second time.

strike two.

let's evaluate:
i contradict mysef by dicussing too much acad stuff in this blog (and i did say i'm not a very acad-conscious person nor someone who dwells on her scholastic performance too much). i am, afterall, trying to build a better study habit... without sounding too nerdy and grade-conscious and all those stupid crappy things i see with my batchmates.

hehe.

following the standards of today's harsh 'norms'; no one should be able to get this entry. at least not up to this statement.

i feel awful

i feel bad
i feel ugly
i feel dark
i feel unworthy
i feel like crap

i actually hate that i'm starting to turn emo with this stupid entry but i want to let it out.

not that it's of any help but at least, IT'S OUT. though i'm not someone who would let bad things out COMPLETELY in the public. at least i'll leave you with a vague gist.

it's depressing.
i want to be admired too.
but with these people around me, i'll only end up looking like trash.

i want to hide.

hahahaha

and no, you can't help me with this.

gusto ko uminom kasama ang isang panget.

nothing better to do

on retrospect, i have studied relatively more seriously for my exams this semester than what i did last sem. if ever that makes sense, i should've gotten at least a couple of nice passing grades. but you see, studying doesn't always makes sense. at least to me...

out of the 6 exams i took this month, i passed only 4. hehe, with my standards, that's already good enough. i never used to pass any exam at all. with or without studying. hahahaha, and the two i failed were near the passing grade so i'm totally fine (rocked out) with that.

finally! i'm passing my exams! :| though i shouldn't be entirely happy about it.
you know, i skipped my favorite class to WORK on a caricature due on that day. i forgot about it, good thing my client texted me. i'm fine with it, actually... that i get to 'sacrifice' something for 'work'. but man, this would gradually turn uncool if i go skip important classes next time.

but i won't. promise.
i got only a few orders right now, but i'm not rushing into it because i have exams next week. 2 chems and the math midterm.

uplb tornado, anyone?

oh, i don't think i've mentioned about the tornado here in los banos, have i?
it happened last august 14, that's a thursday. it occured around 4pm. we're supposed to have our physics lab that time but the electricity went off, then people are suddenly screaming and running outside. i didn't know what's up so i followed my classmates downstairs to join the throng of people outside, raising their cam phones and video cams for something that seemed phenomenal.

then there's the brewing tornado -err, it's already around 90% brewed-, the first i've seen in my whole life. i didn't even know it could exist, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES. it was exceptional.

but of course, since this is not a natural occurence in a typically tropical archipelago, we were all, "WHOA! COOL! ASTIG! MAY TORNADO SA ELBI! WAHAHAHA"

aren't we supposed to run for our lives?

key word. supposed to.
but the elbi culture is dominantly thrashing that SOP away.

i got 2 pics of it in my phone (i was lucky i captured it before my phone ran out of bat) but i have no means yet to upload it here. to follow na lang...

however, you can get your pick of the various video covers HERE. there are lots. see how fascinated we are? you don't usally get fascinated with lethargic phenomenons.

that's us, for you. :)

weeeeehhhh??!?!?!?!?!!!

i saw this from a friend's profile



grabe naman o! joketime lang ata to eh... ROFLMAO productions ba naman eh. hahahah :) anyway, so much for the excitement diba... nakaka-asar naman!

more more more!


bagsak ako sa first chem32 lecture exam namin... by 3 points. depressing grabe, nag-aral ako e! alam mo yuuun? define gets ko! e ganon talaga... hahaha

bagsak din pala ako sa stat1 midterms. grabe naman o! hindi nga ako nahirapan eh! pero lagapak parin... pero ok lang din... pasado parin naman standing ko. pero whatever diba? kung san madali dun ako bagsak!

eto, pumasa ako sa lab exam sa physics! well, eto di ko inexpect. hayop naman kasi magpa-exam si sir! ang hiraaaap! pero di nga... masaya naman. hahaha pero di ba, winaldas ko na yung chances ko sa exam na yun eh... imagine, tatlong oras akong nilulumot sa upuan sa kasasagot ng mga bagay na di naman ako sigurado... akala ko talaga bagsak na ko... but no. hehehehe
buti na lang diba... :)

onga pala. may hurricane kanina dito! as in! ang cool nga eh.
nag-brownout then nagkamini stampede... labasan lahat ng mga estudyante para mawitness ang kakaibang phenomenon na nangyayari sa likod ng physci... i was able to get 2 lucky shots before my phone ran out of bat. hahahaha

tapos peste. nawala ko yung payong kong red! yung almost favorite payong ko! naiwan ko yata habang tumatakbo... whatever diba. eh ang lakas ng ulan after nun... haha :\

hahahaha
wait lang. wala akong karapatang magsaya.
may exam pa ko bukas! :)

promote ko lang ang aking paboritong kape sa ngayon: JIM's 7in1 coffee mix! mahal pero masarap sya... nakaka-adik. hehehe :) mga 150 yata per 12 sachets eh. hehehehe

err, you know me. :)

something i don't quite understand

seriously. i could only imagine myself being WED to this one guy. this is ridiculous i know, were not even close but i can totally picture US together... as partners, with kids! this is freaking me out. :) he's unique! we click! though i haven't proved those yet but he's up to par with my weirdness and because of that i want to know him more! hahaha, yeah, like 'will you marry meeeee?????' crap. it's really rare, you know, me discovering him. that's rare. it's hard to find people like him. :) he's different from my major crushes, he's not even considered a 'major' one even though i kind of indirectly announced that i'm going to marry him someday.

but it's cute, if not downright assuming and silly. but that's life. at least being an old spinster is out of my league. at least the thought of being one... for now.

though if i don't get to that stage of having enough magnetism to attract 'love', the idea of being single forever doesn't scare me big time... given that i'm single, AND RICH.

but still. :)
i got a super duper bad headache right now that i'm not attending our GA. i'm sorry, gosh, i have orders to deliver. >___>;; sorry.

i think i broke my housemate's laptop. when i start the computer, it says "NTLDR is missing... press ctrl+alt+del to restart". and when i do so, it goes back to that stupid line. the only cause that i could think of is a VIRUS.

what else? i'm a virus goddess after all. i've crashed 2 PCs and a laptop before, and now it's up to 2 PCs and 2 laptops. i'm terribly sorry for being so careless when it comes to games. but i have a solution now, thank God. i need her boot disk. :)

i'm tired. super tired.

hey, i had a really good dream... i dreamt of receiving flowers from a secret admirer. and the delivery guy was someone from SELES. actually the flowers are from SELES, i mean.. there's a tag there that mentioned the name. but whatever. the feeling was nice. i almost thought it was real... :)

until i woke up with a torturing headache. :(

really now, good dreams are followed by harsh realities.

because i thought we're losing you

maybe i just missed you too much.

sorry for being selfish. :)
i want you to be happy, so here's your freedom. :)

just don't waste yourself please.
and if ever that happens, just come home. :)
we'll be here waiting.


i believe i did something wrong last night. :(

i have an exam in 4 or so hours. haha, i don't even think i'm prepared enough! bwahahahaha

e pano ba yan... poverty mode nanaman ako this week!
tuna forever! :(

feeling ko talaga nagmumuka na kong lata sa kakatipid... haynaku. >____>