the right kind of pressure, realizations and more

i just came back from a short round trip to qc! i ditched our physics lecture awhile ago to leave early for mika's despedida :) i missed her sooo much and she's leaving for sanfo this monday for her JTA :) :) :)

before heading to their house i dropped by megamall first to buy the set of staedtler pens i promised myself but they were out of stock at nat'l bookstore so i just bought a set of metallic pens and 2 drawing pens instead.

but then i felt sorely incomplete leaving the place without having those dream pens with me so i transferred to shang plaza to see if their NBS has them.

sadly they don't.
but instead, the saleslady recommended stabillo bos pens to me, and i found they're just the same! so i bought that set instead and was equally happy. so i strolled more... it's one of the rare times i get to shang anyway. and i appreciated the exclusivity of it, especially the live pianoforte music playing at the lobby. it was a great stroll even though the stalls are not within my price range... hehe oh and i got to discover starbuck's smoking area at the top floor. i never thought there was an open space in the mall... i liked it. :) and for the first time this sem, starbucks at last! i've been holding my money back for too long... especially on things like this. hehe

here goes quite a realization. while i was walking around, i couldn't help but feel out of place... like i'm not wearing enough designer labels to fit in. actually, i look decent enough for the place but still not good enough to look like a regular shang shopper. this is called insecurity.

but for the most part, while passing by super expensive boutiques i felt inspired to become rich one day. i marvelled on the thought and realized that this is the right kind of pressure. though people say we shouldn't let the pressure build up and break us down, i say we should let pressure in to drive us into something.

i mean, if you want to get rich, surround yourself with rich people.
if you want to get smart, surround yourself with smart people and you'll feel the pressure building up, something that tells you you have to be good enough for them. and to be able to do so... you go study. :)

hehe. not quite convincing but that's just one of my new ways of looking past the pressures of life. :)


then there's mika's despedida. :) ding was there and a lot more of her orgmates and blocmates. :) it was fun, well, because i got to see her! :) hehehehehe

then i left at around 9pm and boarded the provincial bus back to losbanos at 930. :)

then i'm here. :)

ayoko naaaaaaaaa

T____T


feeling ko talaga in love na ko sa kanya. though hindi ako sure. haha, ayoko aminin eh... sa sarili ko.

and besides... i guess he's already taken.

i mean, this is crazy i know but i find it hard not to think about him...
kasi ganito yun... parang, ang daming nagpapa-alala sakin sa kanya... as if naman ang dami naming memories di ba? it started out as a crush which unfortunately hindi napalitan over the months... kaya ayun. what do i do.what do i do.

well.
wala.
mag-aral.

tsk.

too many midgets in dark blue

i'm totally hating this feeling. no, not exacltly since half of me is actually looking forward to it... but the thing is, when i'm faced with a great probablity of it happening... i panic like a blind mouse. i.don't.know.what.to.do.

mehn.

help me rule the world. ;)

oh right, i'm not supposed to go home this weekend because i have major exams coming up the next week... but i am! just to see a friend before she leaves for sanfo. and i'm not even staying home... hehehe.

:) :) :) :) :)

hello, chuck

i am gravely fascinated with the american series, Chuck. i love it! i love how chuck looks all geeky even without thick glasses and braces. it's sooo cool.

after immersing myself in geekdom, next i find myself swooning over an almost naked Lucas Scott (one tree hill). extremes, yeah, from the highly technical crime series- Chuck to the complex highschool drama in One Tree Hill. i'm enjoying marathons, apparently... it's the only chance i get to keep in touch with the TV. hehe

i forgot that we have an exam tomorrow at math. well, i haven't studied.. how's thaaat.

hehehehehe

before it kills me

i'll try to make this short (but i doubt). i do have a lot of things to say but because a headache's killing me i have to refrain from excessive thinking and probably resume to my Chuck marathon.

so here, my sister and i just came back from a church-mall escapade. it was hard on our part, with the dirty water seeping through our slippers... we just commuted actually. i couldn't quite miss going to church.

i'm a hypocrite of course, i intended to go the mall after. which is 'the' factor.

and because i'm evil, or because i didn't bring in my tithes in hopes of using the money to buy a set of staedtler pens, God punished me. or shall we say, for those who don't believe in him, Karma worked its rounds on me. i got a really bad headache now, right now, and it throbs in pain with every letter i type on the keyboard. now, how hard is that? me having to endure all this just to feed you an entry?

anyway. i thought the mall was going to console me with my dirty feet, a broken umbrella, and a very useless super absorbent jacket but no it didn't. i actually forgot that it's a SUNDAY and it's AUGUST 3. it's actually the last day of SM's 3-day mall wide sale. it's freakin suffocating inside, i regretted stepping foot on it. and you know, the set of staedtler pens i was hoping to purchase was out of stock according to a seemingly unreliable sales clerk of NBS. is there anyway to know if a sales lady is lying about their stocks? i think they're just too lazy to
attend to us. bitch.

i'm not in the mood anymore.

but i love Chuck.

masaya maging wierd!

apir!

so this is how it feels

to be happy with what you're doing even though you get very little money for it.
it's becoming more confusing for me now, doing things i should've pursued for the sake of my happiness just as a sideline and doing the less dramatic stuff in hopes of getting enormous monetary kickbacks in the future.

in the long run, people will always choose the path to happiness, and they hardly ever notice. and it's not even a choice, it's a gradual change of heart. sort of like a reaction that adjusts to stress to achieve exquilibrium. people will always feel most secure, jailed with their passions and money will never be a deciding factor.

for now, let me be practical and put happiness at second priority and money at the first slot. if only we could make both elements work in unison, that would be great. -___-; ehh, i know we could. i just don't how to make it work in my case. >____>;

ehehehehe.

i felt incredibly awkward at first pero buti na lang na-confirm ko na wala. haha, sayang ang friendship pare! :) let's stick to that.

grabe naman ako, hindi ako maka-get over sa kanya e last sem pa yun eh. nakakhiya naman. bwahahahaha. natataranta ako pag nakikita ko sya, lol. and just the mere thought na baka makasalubong ko sya, naloloka na ko, hindi ko alam ang gagawin.

poknat.