orly?

i want to update my stories but i can't! i'm out of inspiration! out of Harry Potter stuff to spazz with! Naruto, with its stupid replays here in the Phils., does not clench my need for a decent motivation. it's already June, classes are bound to kill me in two weeks, more or less. i should have to the right indulge in selfish things before i plunge into another level of hell.

ohlook! i'm organizing my folders. i made a 'stories' folders, with my current projects. by far, i've only had one completed story which is in the proccess of being beta-read. sooner or later, i'll have the docs imported into my account and finally get rid of my grammatical mistakes.

i have 2 in progress fics, and 3 pending-to-be-written cases. i'll show you what i have in mind...

@Hate Me - this is a Naruto in-progress fic. i can't bear to continue it because it can't carry on without the rape. and i'm still looking for ways to write a frkn rape scene. if i manage to pull down the rating, from M to T... BETTER.

@Interview with a Vampire - i know, i know. another in progress HPDM fic. i like the plot, i really do. it's not always that i come up with story-lines that people actually patronize.

i left those two fics hanging TWO FRKN YEARS AGO. and i've been receiving PM's, yeah, PRIVATE MESSAGES (!!!), from readers begging me to update, alongside casual swears indicating their impatience. i thought it was flattering, so i had to smile with those. but really, none of them ticked me enough to get my ass moving. T__T;

and now i have another 3 being conceptualized. all are HPDMs. :) i'll be sharing the titles but it won't be revealing anything substantial yet.

@If Only
@In Another Lifetime - this was the one i thought i could turn into an original romance novel (like, whateveeerrr arianne! you and your dreams!) instead of a fic, but i'm doubting the audience would appreciate it. HPDM has more than a million fans, it's more likely to be acknowledged in that fandom. hehe
@Remember when it Rained - SO FAR MY FAVORITE among the stories i've plotted. why? IT'S TRAGIC, and i've finished the whole story in my brain! i cried, man, it's crazy. hint: it's a VAMPfic! appiiiirrr!!!

i was wondering. me writing like this (about fics and fandoms) seems more appropriate in LIVEJOURNAL. hahaha, my circle of co-fans is really small. and it's because i'm not making an effort to involve myself in any of those rings. hahaha, not to worry. i'm enjoying this. hehe

I WANT COFFEEEEEEE!!!!

market! market!

it's really weird why they named it that way. as if people are really going exclaim the name of the mall hahaha. :) after church, we went to market market. this comes in really rare, my mom deciding to go to mall to just take a look at it. so you see, it was our first time to go inside the mall. hehehe. we brought our own food, as usual and ate in the car. then we went in, grocery shopped and bought some other items. T__T; hehehe pretty much like glorietta and trinoma, but it's really more like glorietta. :)

it also happened that it's me and my sister's first time to roam around global city. it was nice, quite deserted, but really modernized. i feel like the buildings are too tall they look like they were just planted upright. >___>; anyhow, i want to own a condo unit there. :) it's a super nice place to live in. now if i land on a high-paying stable job somewhere there or at libis, then i guess i could afford to buy a condo. it's most practical nowadays. :)

yehey! i have new earphones! i bought the same black philips earphones. i opted for the one in cd-r king, it's only 80!, but there are too much people. i could hardly wait. hahahaaaaay. actually, i want another set of earphones...the more fancy looking ones. but i have to save first, it's quite a fortune bwahaha. then i can hand-me-down my philips to terai. bwahahaha.

i had fun! i also tried this pinoy sorbetes na mejo mahal for me [27/scoop-wafer cone] pero masarap and fun ung mga flavors. hehehe

the clouds have left

you know awhile ago, i guess it was already breaking dawn, i went to our rooftop and sat on the garden chair to read. i'm halfway through Almost Heaven though i still am not hooked enough like i was with Whitney My Love. i looked up and just marveled on the vast expanse of dispersed cotton on a blue canvas. then i saw Fantasia hovering above me, her face without any detail, her arms streched to her sides, her bottom part misting like a ghost. i stared at it for awhile, anxious that i couldn't get our banig which is ideal for activities such as this because my parents are sleeping on it in the confines of their room (i was like, err, have you ever heard of a bed?). when i got a handful of shots registered in my brain, i leveled my head down to resume reading.

you know i'm talking about clouds.

then the sky turned bluish-pink. Fantasia has gone, moved a great deal to my west, her enchanting form morphing into an indistinguishable cotton mess. i have the wind to blame for that. the sky is a sweet marshmallow, slowly darkening into an orange expanse. the sun finally set, though the roofdeck isn't facing that way, i got it covered from the window on the opposite side.

then it was time to leave.

my bookmark barely left a few pages, but i was glad i got to go cloud gazing. at that time, my head is filled with various thoughts. they're really bothersome, but at least i get to set my mind on it, even for a while.

i was actually looking for a place to read, but the sky took most of my attention instead.

my darkest days

literally. hehehe
thanks kim! hihihi, this was taken during one of my swimming days at the university pool. kim took shots of me while swimming because she needed a moving subject for one of her homeworks. yey! i'm glad to finally see them. though there's really no guarantee that i'm the one in those pics, haha, why don't you see how dark those arms are and tell if it's not me. bwahehehe

aw. thanks so much kimmy. T___T; those are my first pictures taken using an slr camera. hehehehe ♥

discovery suites :)

i wasn't planning on staying for the night but since nobody's going home, i was convinced to stay, without any change of clothes and stuff. hahaha, but i got by! WE got by! :)

it was soooo fun! XP i thought they're staying at shang but they moved to discovery so i followed them there. hahaha, i seriously think we could all live together. for good. hahahahaha

we bought chips, canned goods, bread, pancit canton, iced tea and lots of vodka cruiser. we cooked, we watched, we drank, and got ourselves wasted. i only got myself a little bit wasted! but i know someone who uhh, wasted herself completely *winks*. it's a brilliant thing we caught it on video *winkwink* now all we have to is wait till it gets to youtube *winkwinkwink*

haaaaay. i had fun! yeah, thanks so much for the experience KA! and to my beloved friends whom i spent the glorious night with (ka,nez,michi,karlita,larz,carla)...i love you!

and to my dear dear friends who weren't there (hannah,jami,martha,ding,lau,kim)... you missed a LOOOOOTTTT! haahahahaha XD

hehe, sa uulitin. :D

hallejuaaaah...?

i'm so happy right now and nothing, NOTHING, can ruin my mood (valid only this day). i'll see to it that i'll be extra cheerful with life, particularly today. :)

i got 19 units at last!!! and i got chem32! although i'm still not sure what to feel towards taking that blasted subject this sem, it makes good sense to take it as challenge. i'm excited and scared at the same time. :)

and later, after doing the things i ought to do first, i'll be hanging out with my friends at edsa shang. well, i missed them and i had to convince my mom -biiiig time- to let me go because i have *sniff* colds and it might rain hard. i have money problems but i'm not really worried on spending too much, i can always have fun with them without minding the budget constraint because admit it or not, gimmick days sorely depends on the money. hahaha but that's not in my case, hardly ever.

news!news! i accepted another offer to beta my fic, hopefully it'll come out nicely because i haven't heard from the one i talked to last time to beta my work. and i don't wanna bother her anymore because i think she's already forgotten about it. last time she said she's already done and she's just searching for the file in her hdisk (but quite honestly i think she lost it). she should be gravely responsible for abandoning that work. hmm...

more so...

i feel rather odd. giddy, over something uncertain. i don't knoooow, i hardly swoon over edward cullen these days so why the fluttery feeling? i feel like i have a crush on someone I CAN'T PIN POINT EXACTLY, this is funny.

soulmate search part II

i was in 2nd year highschool when i first bought the silly superstition about the vox beetle counting. do you remember that? you count 50 beetle cars and you take note the color of the 50th car you find. then whoever asks you about the time wearing the same color is your 'soulmate', per se.

during the first time i did it, the 50th car i saw is color blue and is parked in front of a bungalow somewhere in BF subdivision. i was walking to my friend's house that day. and you know, days after... someone did ask me about the time. and it also happened that this person is wearing blue. can you believe it? it was pretty weird, blue shirt, blue shorts and freakin blue slippers. how could it get anymore credible than that?

it could've been good, already. problem is, that person is a GIRL. whaaaattt?!?!? and we're not really close, though i call her by her nickname because that's how she introduced herself to me. we were schoolmates and she's a batch older than i am. wtf, really. it's silly on my part to expect meeting my soulmate in the most uncompromising environment. in an exclusive catholic school. and with that, i discarded the thought to oblivion, also trying to calm myself because i'm getting paranoid about it. i shouldn't have counted 50 fckn volkswagen beetles like it's the key to my nonexistent love life. i am not a lesbian, huhuhuhuhu.

LOL those were the days, aye? i was so scared of considering the gruesome possibities that i may actually be more attracted to girls than guys, sht that is so abnormal. but honestly, friends, during those years, i really preferred girls. i can still remember my stupid obsession over shane mccrutcheon of 'the L word'. haha, minus points! good thing i went to college. it's all about straightening my hormones, yeah.

but whoever said that your soulmate has to be part of the opposite sex? it's not like you're destined to marry each other. yuck. it's a shame i only realized that now.

and so, i vowed one day to repeat the process. and i did. and earlier this day when we're driving to batangas, i saw the 50th car -- according to my mental tally-sheet which could still prove to be unreliable because when i saw car #51, then #52, 53 and 54.. my brain went berserk!! is my counting right? didn't i miss a number or something? what if car #50 should really be car #51 or #49 [basing on the possible errors i may have committed in counting]

I WOn'T BE ABLE TO FIND MY SOULMAAAATE! why are there so many effin beetles in the philippines?!?! why didn't i just close my eyes and ignore the streets when we've ran past the 50th car?!?! dmmtdmtt

:)even so, i won't reveal the color (or colors, HOMG!) yet hahaha. let 'fate' conspire, or whatever it is that needs to. :D hehehe

oh, i don't even have a watch yet hahaha

PS. i know this (my bragging about looking for a soulmate) is utterly ridiculous. i, myself think so. haha, but because it could prove to be fun and is one heck of a stupid story (which i'm good at narrating), it's always worth a cover.