best dream yet

i dreamt of my crush! (yeah! same old highschool tale) as in my real crush, not ryan agoncillo... hehehe.

well it's not the first time i dreamt of him, but it's the first time i dreamt of him in a romantic way... involving me of course. and you know what, i love the feeling of being in love. wtf.

the most romantic part of the dream was that he actually confessed to me. whaat? and i feel so esctatic. bwahehehe. sino ba namang hindi!

too bad it was just a dream!

kumareng venice just got home! and look what she brought with her! a box of chocolates for See's (given by her tita from hawaii)!!!! omfg. T_T

calories galore.

one down, more to go

it's no use slashing off exams from my calendar because they seem to propagate infintitely, pulling me closer and closer to the student disciplinary board. well, i don't seem to care much if i get a warning or two next sem for failing some of my workloads, i wouldn't even care if get dismissed! lol

we had our integrated 3rd and 4th exam in chem32 awhile ago. it was fucking hard. i'd curse someone who thinks it easy to eternal damnation. i hardly slept just to finish the scope of this retard subject, and when i read the problem set it seems that they (for the nth time) morphed into a next-level monster! fuck. whoever deserves that.

hmmm. same old rant.
i never learn, do i?

i have a lot to do:
- study for the blasted physics exam on monday
- do the fucking postlab for chem40 (tuesday)
- do freakin props for our demo on LTS1. i hate it when i'm actually exerting effort on a subject with zero units. >_>
- study for the 3rd chem40 exam (wednesday)
- do a 'creative' schematic diagram for the practical test, and hope to get a little incentive for it. i'm failing.

haaay. i missed sleeping.

i wonder why i don't feel comfortable with them altogether. they know very well i can't cope with their towering minds, well, they don't care anyway. but hell, i hate it! all they ever talk about when they're together is their academic standings. i can't stand it... because,
a) in the first place, i have nothing to be proud of. my bluebooks all go to trash once i receive them.
b) they (of maybe it's just HE) sound so mayabang and that's naturally intolerable
c) and lastly, i feel like they'd drop someone who couldn't keep up with them. and i'm definitely that someone.

oy, wag kang feelingero.

read my lips

let your frustrations motivate you to do something you really like! you see, i've realized that the more we are forced to do something we despise, the more frustrated we get, and the more frustrated we get, the more deviant we become, and when we become deviant, we are more likely to end up doing what we REALLY want. but there will also be another resulting output for that and that is not being able to focus well on what you are assigned to do. >_>

sweet escape

yes there is a time for everything. as i've pondered on before, there are things that could only be understood completely when it is pursued at the right time. just like how you are not allowed to drive when you're not of legal age. :)

sometimes, realizations hit you at the wrong spot but then all you have to do is think again, evaluate yourself and see if you're still on the right track. Problem: i'm not sure which path to take. i'm not even sure if this is what 'fate' (if it exists) calls me to be in. human nature dictates 'escape' at the merest sign of difficulty. and because i am a slave of human nature, i've devised my own ways of running away from the monster i myself created (it's not me, do'ahou).

sometimes i drink it all off. i get some of my dormmates to drink with me, they wouldn't ask why. it's not unusual if i suddenly go home with 3 bottles of beer anyway. they're one hell of a company.

there are times when i go out alone to buy coffee. it's my drug, yeah. though it doesn't really give me enough kick to forget about how horible my day went, it's good enough to keep me sane. that is.

the cheapest treat would be a pack of Nova and a bottle of C2. have i told you i get bonkers when i drink C2 (apple)? i become hyperactive and crazy. i couldn't stop myself. with that i give it a 10 out of 10. a good escape. yeah.

with the way i see things, you'd probably think i'd be medicating on 'drugs' next time. i may be ruining my life with developing vices but i guess it's part of growing up. vices shouldn't be viewed as something evil. in fact, at one point in life, when everyone else turn their backs on you, you'd be left with nothing but your vice(s) to cope with the distress.

hey. i don't have vices.... yet. T_T

whatever.
wait. i love lemongrass. better than mary jane? definitely. not that i've tried, silly. lemongrass. lemongrass. lemongrass. haha in filipino... tanglad. sounds familiar? it looks like talahib and has a characteristic smell. if i'm not mistaken its monoterpene is linalool? or citral? i forgot. hahaha

sorry. i sound like i'm about to kill myself of depression. maybe i'm just frustrated.

yeah! that's the best word that could describe me. i am frustrated. i am a frustrated college student who can't think rationally and choses a bottle of beer over a decent sleep. i am frustrated. thank you.

monacre. i lack that. >_>
(hint: it's an anagram)

physics fair!

yay to us! hehe we didn't win but we had fun. bwahehehehehe. eliza and i were so overwhelmed that we get to climb Carillon Tower!!!


i don't have a picture of our glider. sad. >.< that's because i wasn't too proud to show it around because the other gliders were so intimading, they really spent money on it... whereas ours is just made from scrap umbrella cloth and trash bamboo from the Forestry. anyhow...

during the first round of the fair, we have to release the glider (na may nakasakay na itlog) from the top of the tower and our aim is to not let the egg break when it lands on the ground. our glider didn't, errr, glide too well (in fact it didn't glide at all, it was a free-fall - much to the spectators' amusement XD) but before it landed, the air kinda blew it so that it flipped, and the egg was saved! so we're in for round 2!

round 2 is a competition for the longest time of flight. we knew firsthand that our glider, named The Communist (because it looked like a communist flag), stands only a little (or none at all) chance because during the first round, it didn't show exemplary 'gliding' skills compared to our competitors... so we just enjoyed the moment. :)

and i was surprised because when jasper threw (what's the right term for this?) it off the tower it flew really well! it gave me hope that our glider is going to last until round 3! but then, something happened...



our glider got stuck on the tree! grabe. nakakapanghinayang! (spot the red thing, that's our poor glider)

dahil dyan... umuwi na lang ako. hehehe

it's all good

last night was great! apart from the news that says UPLB won't have classes on monday because it's laguna day (i was wondering, how many times do we celebrate laguna day in a year?), yesterday was also great because i went foodtripping with my dormmates!

heeryagow!

it was 9:30 and i'm hungry... again. so i went out (alone) to ministop to buy a nescafe freeze. but it was too cold so i just decided to buy a coke float and burger from mcdo. lol, ang labo... basta. sadly though, they don't have burgers anymore what's left are those little apple and taro pies that wouldn't even compensate to the 250 meters i walked from the dorm to vega centre. so i just took the float and wandered along grove to look for good food. blaaah. i ended up buying hellfire burger from Bordo's anyway. yeah burger, make me fat, make me fat. fatter than i already am. >_>

when i came back, everyone's on their way out. and i was like, heeey! where the hell do you think you're going! i asked you if you wanted to come with me to buy food and you said no. and now you're buying food without me!!! i'll go with you!! XD!

indeed, the five of us, me, ate venice, ate rio, ate sheryl and vynne (whom i call soldier because she WAS an applicant for the up vanguards - but she resigned. grr) walked to ministop to buy... ice cream. then we walked and walked, saw Mang Bong's (??? not sure) bakery who bakes the bestselling bread called 'butterfly' (it's shaped like a ribbon, tastes like pandecoco but it's creamier! haaay, heaven!) and bought some. hehe, imagine... the bread is such a blockbuster that people actually have to reserve for it! and everytime they bring the baking pan out, there are mobs of people waiting outside already. reminds me of yakitate japan!! :D wahehehe... blah blah blah.

have i told you that it's ate venice's (i call her kumare :D) first time to go with us to hunt for food? hehehe. that's good to hear! hehehe, haaay the grove is very lively even though it's already 11pm. hahaha when we reached the corner to FO, ate venice bought some nuts while i asked them if they want to drink. my treat!

at dahil dyan, i bought us 3 bottles of san mig light. ate sheryl and ate rio will share one bottle, and soldier and i will get one each. kumare doesnt' drink (because of her horrible ethanol experience >.<)... aww. haha BI.

but when we got home, i finished two bottles. >_> that's because
a) it's soldier's first time to drink! wtf! it's your first time????? lol, you didn't tell me! i should've bought something heavier to celebrate you're first time!
- and because it's her first time, she didn't have enough strength to finish the whole bottle. mehn, you don't really need strength for that, what you need is a generous amount of depression (plus a very supporting company. ehem.) to motivate you to flush them all out by drinking.
b) and because there's still a good 250mL of beer left in the bottle, ate sheryl and ate rio shared with that.
c) and since ate venice won't accept my friendly offer, i have no choice but to finish the remaining two.

anyhow. it's not bad. i didn't get drunk (i've never been drunk. fyi.), i just get err... bangag but it's not like i'm drunk. bwahahahahaha. and we have nuts and little chipichipies to go by (plus my burger!). so imagine how heavy my stomach is after the, uhhh, event. hehehehe. then we watched some movies using soldier's laptop. first we tried evan almighty, but we got bored so we changed it to killer waves, but we also got bored, so we decided on brats, but it's too sloppy so we just settled for high school musical 2. it was fun! the choreography is great! but you see, i kinda hate it when you take theater actors on-screen. they're overacting. >_>

oh yeah. everything's good. i love my life.
(pictures soon on my multiply!)

-----

today is the Physics Fair day! we've finished the glider yesterday at around 5pm. i just hope it won't free-fall. >_>
i want to go home already, i'm skipping our LTS meeting tomorrow. sorry guys. i need to go home! and now i'm fishing for good excuses to go home early (i have no intention to finish the fair. wtf)

don't forget to breathe

oh yeah. i'm human too. i don't know what to do with my life anymore. it's on its way to the dumpsite. >_> aw mehn. this is so not me. i've become one BIG pessimist. i wonder how i'm going to fix this mess. you know what, i want to quit being like this. it's like all i ever blogged about this semester is my failing academic life.

i want to share something happy, at least. :)

let's see. i've checked my preliminary schedule for the second semester already. i was given 19 units, but i cancelled 3 units (History 2) to give space to Chem160 (on waitlist)... currently i'm #5 on the waitlist and i'm hoping to get a slot. thing is, I MUST PASS CHEM40 FIRST because it's a prerequisite.

so, here's a change of priorites. now i realized how lethargic it is to take chem40 and 32 at the same time. not only it damages my crippled braincells, it also targets my psychological upbringing. i am slowly losing grip with my sanity. because of that, i won't push myself to the limit anymore (not that i am, in any way, really pushing myself. my efforts are quite invisible to the naked eye). i'll do my best to pass chem40 so that i'll take chem160 next sem, then if fate tells it so that i fail chem32, then i can just repeat it summer 2008. and look, i won't be delayed. yehey.

oyeah. that feels better. but it's not a good enough excuse to slack off, ONCE AGAIN.

heeeeey. i'm avoiding a group of people, and i actually feel guilty about it... because they didn't do me any harm at all. they're nice. yeah, but altogether they're too overbearing, too intimidating, i look like crap beside them. i was thinking if i'm doing this for my own good, to somehow regain what was lost in my self-esteem. but i end up thinking that, if i keep on avoiding them... it means i'm actually thinking about them. and thinking about them makes me feel worse.

dude. i'm sorry. :) i just think it's not fair to pry on each of our academic standings. not that you've taken a step already. i actually find it nice that you're somehow, 'concerned'. mejo napapahiya lang ako... you know. wotcher! i won't talk about this again. i'll just repeat and repeat the same things. lalalalalalaaaa

heeeey! i have PE2 already!!!! at last!! and it's swimming!!!! i can't wait!!!! :) yehey!!!!

oh, i want to hug dingdong dantes. he's very prince charming material. when i watch marimar, i feel envious of her because she gets to hug sergio everyday. hahaha, don't you see? sergio has big arms and chest. with him any girl will feel safe and secured. like he can just swallow you in his mighty love. hahaha. :)

yeah, just that. stay tuned, i might actually grow out of this misery. >_>