NANA!!! (anime)

ang galing galing talaga! ngayon lang ulit ako kinilig sa anime. wahahahaha.

announcement muna:
ok na ko sa YURI!!!
soldier! i can watch shoujo with you na!!! hehehehe

e kasi ang cute na Nana e. hehehe at first akala ko yuri sha, pero shoujo lang ata e. basta para shang Gravitation! mejo lang... kasi may musician...? hehehe basta ang saya ng feeling ng nakakapanuod ulit ng bagong anime! yun nga lang masakit sa bulsa! huhuhuhuhuhuhu :(

o sige, nuod muna ako ulit! :)

ay, shoujo sha pero straight parin naman ung pairing. huuuh? basta ganun. wag makulit. nasa episode 2 plang ako. :)

soldier! let's watch Gravitation again! sino may DVD???? parang awa nyo na PAHIRAAAAM!!!!

hey dude

come on, don't tell me it's your job to go spying on our grades! fuck. don't do that again. i'm starting to regret being acquainted with your group, don't make me feel worse. i'm not smart. yeah, case in point made. and take note, out of the probably 10 exams i took this semester, i passed only 1... and it's a freakin' take home exam.

honestly, it wouldn't have mattered to me if i fail everything... because to me, that's normal. and i don't go fretting over failed exams. but ever since you came, everything mattered (and i detest it). i became self-conscious. my self-esteem leaped a thousand steps to hell. i was fucking peer-pressured. and it's all because of you and your legion of smartasses.

at first i wanted to be friends with you. at first. but now that we are friends (in an obligatory sense, that is) i realized i don't fit in. i know there's a lot more in me that could compensate for my obvious lack in mental aptitude but with you, will it matter? no. not at all. you look at people through their transcript of records, their general weighted average and the number of exams they aced. if that's the case, then how do you see me?

uhm, that's rhetorical. i do not wish to know the answer. my generalizations are evidently exagerrated and biased, but that's how i see you and your, for a lack of a better term, 'world'.

everyday, when i pass you by, i feel sorry for myself. i feel inferior. i feel dumb. i feel like i cannot cope with your high regards for academically competent people. i want to hide. seriously. i don't want to see any of you again, if i could avoid it.
why? you're all so fucking intimidating.

even my closest friend here, we two are extremes. she's super smart, i'm super dumb. we defy the concept 'like dissolves like' and comply with the statement 'opposite poles attract'.

and you know what, i'm starting to loathe it. what i feel would make me eligible to eternal damnation. i feel envious. i feel one of the most lethal capital sins man has proposed. i am morphing into a two faced monster. i hate her. yet i love her. i cannot deny the fact that we're friends. but even friends get envious with each other. but in this case it's one sided, i am the who took the lethargic blow.

and that stirs up my desire to look for a new friend.

>>>>>>end of rant

yesterday...

pipau treated hazel and i to 'animacoustics', an event prepared by Ozooms (uplb zoological society), at isis. hehe first time ko dun. maganda pala. bar sya, masarap ang kape (i tried snickers cremaccino), amoy yosi at alak. pero disente naman. gusto ko ulit bumalik dun. kaso mahal. 40 pesos entrance fee and minimum of 60 consumable. hahahaha. ok lang, maganda naman ang music and enjoy pag may kausap. ganun yung mga tipong lugar na gusto kong puntahan pag may kasamang kaibigan. pwede uminom or magkape. yun usap usap. haaay. kailan kaya...

feeling ko there are things that will only clear up when you come to the right age.
>_>

pahinga muna dude!

KUNG ANG CRUSH MO AY:

1. Nagtanggal ng t-shirt niya sa harap mo?
* ay kikilabutan ako. sige, kikiligin din siguro. pero mas kikilabutan ako.

2. May bagsak na grade?
* actually gusto ko nga bumagsak sya kahit minsan e, just to prove he's still human.

3. Naka-3 points sa basketball?
* ayos.

4. Niyaya ka maging prom date niya?
* college na sya e.

5. Ay nadisgrasya?
* :(

6. Niyaya ka manood ng sine kasama niya?
* tara.

7. Hinawakan kamay mo?
* dude, bakit?

8. Natamaan ng bola?
* may magagawa ba ko? pick yourself up mehn!

9. Nilibre ka?
* thanks dude.

10. Inakbayan ka?
* ay conservative ako e. ayaw. hehehe Y.Y

11. Pinagtripan ka?
* bahala sya sa buhay nya

12. Kinuha ID mo?
* kukunin ko ulit. bakit ba.

13. Nabunggo ka?
* magsorry ka pare.

14. Inasar ka?
* ok lang. it takes a lot to get into my nerves naman eh.

15. Niyakap ka na lng bigla galing sa likod mo?
* i'll freak out. hahaha, feel na feel mo namang crush kita?

16. Sinabi sa'yo "I love you"?
* o ano yan? seryoso, yan sasabihin ko

17. Nang-utang sa'yo?
* kung my excess money ako ok lang.

18. Hindi binayaran utang niya?
* sisingilin, kung malaki. kung maliit lang siguro palalampasin ko na lang or sisingilin sa ibang paraan. haha

19. Pinasahan ka ng load kahit hindi mo kelangan?
* salamat. kelangan ko talaga nyan.

20. Tinawagan ka sa bahay?
* aba. walang pang tumatawag sakin na lalaki. swear. conservative ako e. lol

21. Nakausap mo hanggang madaling araw?
* ay. di ako mahilig makipagtelebabad. kahit crush ko pa. gusto ko kwentuhan na lang ng personal.

22. Niyaya ka kung pwede ka maging girlfriend niya?
* gago, hindi basta basta niyayaya ang babae para maging girlfriend. magdusa ka. turn off yan.

i love the smell of the person sitting beside me. it's musk. hahaha, e ganun din kasi pabango ko eh. hehehe.
haaay kakagising ko lang. after ng 4-7 class ko (LTS1) kumain agad ako at natulog. marami pa akong gagawin. haaay.

hahaha. na reach ko na pala ang maximum absences sa LTS1, ibig sabihin pag nag-absent pa ako ng isa, forced drop!!

hanggang ngayon, wala parin akong maintindihan sa chem40. honestly, mas madali ang exam namin dito pero dahil wala akong maintindihan, wala parin akong naipapasa. AS IN! from the beginning until now, i don't understand a single concept. ano ba yang cis trans na yan? i think its worthless.

isa pa. naiintindihan ko nman ang chem32. feeling ko para syang chem17 na mas pinahirap. at dahil mas pinahirap nga sya, wala parin akong naipapasa. and it's my own darned fault. hindi ako nag-aaral. sobrang tamad ko mag-aral. etong ginagawa ko ngayon ay isang napakalaking pruweba ng aking katamaran magaral.

:)

ay naflatter naman ako. how does it feel to know someone googled your name? hahahaha. wala lang. that's rare! hahaha. jots and i had a little talk awhile ago. we're both determined to shift!!!! as in seryoso na to!!! i want to shift to computer science (kung dito parin ako magaaral) at kung palarin sa diliman, i'll take creative writing or anything similar. hahaha...

alam nyo naman ang storya ng buhay ko diba? never kong pinangarap na maging chem. eng'g... it just happened na bagsak ako sa comm. arts nung first sem kaya napilitang magapply for second sem, and the best course the fits my grades is chem. eng. so yun. pag minalas-malas ka nga naman o.

at dahil dyan. puyatan nanaman itoooo!!! :)

thank you Lord! akala ko bagsak na standing ko sa math36! hindi pala! mababa, pero hindi bagsak. hahah kasi naman ung first 2 long exams bagsak ko. pero sa third mataas naman ako kaya ok lang. haha favorite ko na ngayon ang curve sketching! at hate ko parin ang application. come on, grant me the intelligence i deserve! :)

decide first whether you have a better head or a better heart

"if your head tells you one thing, and your heart tells you another... before you do anything... decide first whether you have a better head or a better heart" - quote

whenever i receive quotes like that, i always take time to reflect on it... and i always end up confused. hmm.. i love receving quotes and jokes because they take me out of the boring routine i've set up for myself. they're like ice breakers, they drag me out of the consuming stress (though i could hardly distinguish 'stress' from any other emotion i feel regularly. lol)... that's why i'm thankful for the people who send me quotes... they're one of the things that ensure the normal flux of neurotransmitters in my brain (yah, i've said this before). i love thinking. just that. you know, the whole philosophical explanation to life and its complexities... i enjoy thinking deep and ending up in hypothetical syllogisms.

anyhow... while wasting time. i'm going to update you with my HATE LIST.

1. i don't hate you a lot, in fact i like you because you're friendly and you tutored me once on one of my blasted subjects, i thank you for that (i still flunked the exam anyway). but sometimes i get annoyed when you brag about your boylets. you're very assuming. just because our lab instructor often sits on your side of the room doesn't mean he has a crush on you (i don't even think he's always sitting there. nagi-ilusyon ka). omaygad. you make me want to strangle myself. sorry ah.

/end

i need a tutor, yeah. but i need someone who can go down to my level. i'm a slow learner when it comes to chem. ang yabang yabang naman kasi ng iba dyan e. sorry a, waitlist lang. shtka.

2. eto pa, di rin ako ganon kagalit sayo pero feeling ko you're taking my friend for granted. tanggapin mo na lang kasi na di sya (ibang tao to) mapapasa-iyo. so you don't have to frustrate yourself with constructing a bridge whose main material is my friend. ano ba. user ka. other than that, demanding ka rin. feeling close pa.

ang bastos ko talaga.

but just like what i said in the intro of this devilish label, this (the hate) too shall pass.

aba natuwa naman ako

ang saya naman pala magproctor eh. ayan o, binigay ko pa ung mga froggy sa kanila. remembrance! :) i had fun being your proctor! you're the happiest team! oha! :D join ulit next year! :)

HAPPY 2ND ANNIV. AChES!

yesterday was fun. e wala e, tawa lang ako ng tawa eh. basta masaya. happy birthday marious! :)

johari window!

dear folks, please take time to answer my Johari Window

thanks a bunch!

can we just stop and talk a while

by gary v. and kyla. nice song :). ate eunice and jerson sang it awhile ago as an intermission and it was really nice. galing! hehehe :)

it actually reminds me of the song 'melody fair' :)

anyhow. today was great. :) i attended our symposium and proctored (gm?) for our mental smackdown (a quiz contest). blah blah blah. kat still has sore eyes. mehn and i badly want to get it too but i don't know, we're always together and i always intentionally wipe my eyes whenever we gain contact in hopes of catching the bastarded illness but to no avail. actually, i'm just fishing for reasons to excuse myself for participating on our anniv night tomorrow. too bad. still stuck.

i'm not complaining. it's just that i'd rather sit in the corner than actually, err, emcee. because i'm not good. seriously. i'm really really really shy. i suck as a self-motivator.

yeah, we'll see about that.

speechcom1: who knows i'll actually learn something substantial and enlightening from this subject? whenever i get the chance, i skip this class but during our last meeting, i realized something and it hit me hard.

we were asked to draw an outline of our fetus - lifesize. meaning we have to lie down on a manila paper and pose as a fetus and someone else will trace our outline and we'll be working on that space bounded by the marker. blah blah blah. our teacher told us to write our wildest dreams on one portion of the drawing. i did mine alright. i wrote there i want to be super rich, i want to go to outer space, be an astronaut, a muse, a bestselling author, a bestselling author. i wrote that twice. then our teacher started talking, talking, talking, like usual, he said a lot of things. and they were nice, it actually made me think about my life. i noticed that even not a hint of being an engineer is reflected within the words i jotted down on the paper. not even a single word. and i thought, look at that... this isn't my dream. i never dreamed of becoming a engineer in the first place. i want to be a writer, a businesswoman sidelining as a freelance artist. i simply don't belong here.

and that's what made up my mind.
i'll do best to shift, to a different school perhaps, with a course that i really want. it's not going to be easy. heck, and i have to go through two blasted chemistry subjects just to break free from this bars i've unconsciously jailed myself in. they're always right. they've always been right. i must do what i want. i must follow my dreams. not anyone else's, but mine. i must discard the fact that just because i endured 1 or 2 chemistry subjects, i'm good to go. no. i'm just burrying myself deeper in the ground. if i continue to endure things i'm not inclined to, i'll be walking farther and farther away from my dreams. this isn't my dream. this isn't anyone's dream. no one forced me to take this course. i am but a frustrated student wanting to enter the university, and this was the only option to take.

enough of the drama. i'll shift. yeah, that sounds good. THAT'S IF: i don't fail chem32 and 40 and get admitted to diliman.