success is the ability to accept one failure after another without losing your enthusiasm

oyeah! kumusta naman na 1 out of 6 long exams palang ang napapasa ko? this is not new to me mehn. last term i only passed 2 out of 8 exams and i still passed the subject! though it doesn't give me a reason to stay unalarmed and indifferent. i want to transfer pa naman... as in transfer to diliman in another course. ikamamatay kong mag chem. eng sa diliman (khit na marami nagsasabi mas mahirap sa uplb) kasi... majority of their oblation scholars are in chem. eng! i'll be totally ridiculed and humiliated if ever.

let's leave that topic.

i miss GRAVITATION!!!! lalihooooooo! alam nyo ba yooooon? hah! anime yan... yaoi! wuhooo!

and wait... i want to have a sem-ender for our chem17 class (kung papasa ako). i mean ok na sakin yung section A-1L lang (LOL. hlatang my ayaw na section o). hindeeee, joke lang. cge cge khit buong chem17 na lang. anu ba naman yung 60 people diba? classmates ko parin naman yun. hahaha. as if naman my sem-ender talaga. pero di nga... gusto ko my sem-ender para masaya. i haven't gone out yet! i want to swiiiimmm!! yeeey.

haynaku. please please kailangan ko pumasa sa chem17. napaka-grrrrr naman kasi ng mga lab exams namin. as in grrrrr i'm totally clueless on what to do. grrrrrrr

lol. basta. on the 21st... last lecture exam!!! and on the 24th *drumroll please* -- FINALS NA! hahaha. ang tamad ko talaga mag aral. as in malala pa kay juan tamad. as in i'm wishing for the lab manual to turn into a howler and just spit out everything that's written there para at least maka-"aral" kuno ako. then poof! it'll burn to ashes and disappear! hahaha.

weeeeee. excited na talaga ako matapos ang term na ito!
gusto ko na mag MoA! at mag starbucks para makita si.... hahaha. di na ko bbli na kape... cguro bbli na lang ako ng tumbler. grounded ako magkape ngayon. nag-ala howler ang nanay ko dahil nga dun sa heartburn thingy.

failures. failures. failures. i wonder if i'm becoming a big failure right now. i mean, academic-wise... (meron bang academic-dumb? kasi ako yun)... wala! wala akong maibubuga. eeeeh.. whatever talaga. kulang lang ako sa aral at sipag. hmmph.

naku naku. tnatamad na ko.

heart.burn.

mehn. i cried last night because i couldn't take the painful contractions in my chest. and it's already 1am. my sister was supposed to bring me to the hospital but i figured i wouldn't be able to bear the long walk to the main street. i was gasping for air, i might collapse wtf. it's like this, whenever i breath in hard, i feel this piercing sensation prick through my chest. i believe it's a heart burn. this is not the first time it happened but heck, this was the hardest i went through for this freakin illness (or whatever it is). it lasted from 1am until NOW. but it's more tolerable now unlike last night where it shocked the hell out of me.

and now i realize. i've been having assumptions on why this hellish thing happened to me. i am hyper-acidic. i just realized it now that we're discussing pH and acid hydrolysis in class. coffee is acidic, softdrink is acidic, milk is acidic, choclolate -sadly- is acidic, tomatoes (my favorittteeee) are acidic. and i hardly drink water when i drink commercial juices. i've been feeding myself with too much acid, and to add to that, i have muscle pain right now... which means there's an over-production of lactic acid within my body. and when i skip meals, i wonder what going on with my intestinal tract (which is acidic too). oh fuck it. i don't want to carry this burden forever.

and yeah, hyper acidity causes heart burns because... err... as far as i know, the gastric acids are regurgitating and it directly affects the breastbone. i'm not explaining further. i hate myself when i talk junk like this.

wheeeew. i'm going to drink a lot of water from now on and i'm going to try an antacid. but pleaaaseee, i can cut off with sodas and teas... just don't take coffee, chocolates and tomatoes away. >.< and oh my golly, i don't want to get an ulcer.

now onto this day.
i'm so relieved that the practical test is over! yeheeey. early morning, like 5am, i woke up my sister because i promised her we're going to play tennis. actually, she doesn't want me to go because the heart burn is still there but... i'm the one who insisted because i want to plaaaay. and so we played from 6:30 to 8:15 after which i went back to the dorm to prepare myself for the practical test at 9am. hahahahaha.

i sucked.

i was only able to identify 2 ions out of 5. but i'm not fretting over it. our instructor also returned to us our 2nd lab and 3rd lecture exams. i failed both! no surprise. i got a 55/100 on my lecture and a freakin 46.25/100 on the lab. and by the way... only 4 people in our class passed the lab exam. hahaha. but seriously, if this were my first chemistry ever... i would've killed myself for sucking big time. but nooooo... i've been trained to face a thousand failures without getting depressed. and besides where's the challenge when you go through things unharmed? you gotta shed blood once in a while. eheheheee.

i'm going home tomorrow night! yeheeeey!

prince of tennis

i've been itching to blog since yesterday but i was too worn out to carry myself across the street and go online. so now, just let me be...

yesterday's highlight would be me and terai playing tennis, AT LONG LAST. we played at the lawn court of Baker hall and shared the court with 2 cute guys. hahaha. that's what i've been itching to write about -yeah i'm so pathetic- this cute guy, whose name happened to be the same brand of racquet i'm holding that moment- Prince ♥... looks like Cogie Domingo. but he's much leaner and athletic looking unlike Cogie who looks skinny on screen. anyhow. it was so much diyahe to play on the same court with them. heck, terai and i almost wasted our time picking balls because we're only beginners and we're still - so to speak- feeling the court and warming up! and these guys, these freakin guys are playing at highspeed effortlessly! as much as i'd like to transfer courts, i'd rather not kasi... e kasi ang sarap nila panuorin.

although..... i couldn't say they're better than my milo friends. hahaha. magkaganunman... the guy named prince... he's so cute. >.< prince prince prince prince prince. haaay. i'm loving Prince (the brand) even more. do you remember the time i was wishing to have a prince tennis cap? now imagine if i wore that cap yesterday. hahaha. i'd look like i'm screaming his name all over my head. hahahaha. so not gonna happen. but then it doesn't change the fact that i've found another crush to think about... again. haha, at least NOW i go for real reachable people unlike before that i go gaga over celebrities and anime bishounens. hehehe. and hey, he looks like an upperclass tennis varsity. that is, if he's studying here cos his shirt spells FEU. so whatdoesthatmean?

well, that's all.... for yesterday.

today: my friend lau texted me asking for the surname of my other other crush (the one i was online stalking). blah. then she told me he got accepted in diliman, industrial eng'g. now huh? as far as i know his schedule (oh, i'm a stalker remember) he didn't take math36 here. in fact, his course here doesn't require math36... so? whatever. i'm like 90% done forgetting him. it's ok, it's ok. yes seriously.

i'm so good with forgetting guys. i guess love hasn't hit me that hard yet. hahaha

and so...
i'm excited for summer classes to end. it'll be finals day on the 24th and after that... i'm FREE of all the hassle that has been plaguing me. i have to be rewarded for putting up with too much shit this summer.

next news: the plot bunnies are working remarkably well these days! apparently i've come up with a rather amusing story about Harry and Draco. i can't wait to write about it. i've just given Harry the MOST DIFFICULT CHOICE OF HIS ENTIRE FANFICTION LIFE. right. and of course it involves Draco. awwww. haha ok so maybe i'm boasting too much about how i gave him the 'most difficult choice' in this entire fanfiction life but you see, i imagined putting myself on the same situation where i am about to put him.... and i couldn't decide on what to do. it's really haaaard.

so. what if you met your one true love (your ONE TRUE LOOOVEE) and you came into the super romantic stages of courting blah blah blah. you two were just sooo in love with each other and you, YOU, having a really complicated life thought you can't live without him. both of you can't live without each other. and then... news broke to you that you're experiencing a severe case of schizophrenia (sp?) and you realized that your one true love is just a manifestation of your critically growing psychological illness. now, would you still want to get cured?

the summary is mine! i'm turning that into a story one day. so..
do.not.steal.
:)

retrospection

i miss watching anime. and i've realized i've outgrown that period of being such an obsessed otaku. nevertheless, it doesn't mean that all the tv radiation i got from watching too much anime before has been put to waste. no. never. i might have lept a hundred steps away from my ex-love but there's still a space in my heart reserved for it...

i miss gensoumaden saiyuki, slam dunk and naruto! i want to watch them all over again!!! i'm going discuss each of them in detail.

GENSOUMADEN SAIYUKI - i looooveee Sanzo. in fact, in school i play the role of Sanzo (of course only with my friends)... and his godly counterpart in the series, Konzen, is played by a good friend ate martha. huhuhu. and i have my own Goku as well.... erikaaa. i miss you. what i miss most about it is the story and the soundtrack. the soundtrack is superb. i love it. jrock at its peak! well that's just me, i appreciate a lot of japanese songs because... duh... i grew up desperately trying to learn and sing them. in faaact, i'm downloading some of their 1st season songs because i can't seem to find them in my backup cd's. grrr.

and what more could get me attached to the series are the pairings! this is not new. i'm a yaoi fangirl. i squeal over hot shounen couples. i write gay stories with mature content. if you know me, you should understand.

SLAM DUNK - aaah. basketball. i'm not good with that, let alone any other sport. but then again, the humor got me stuck with the series. as well as *eherm* the shounens. SenRu is on the top of my list. care to argue?

NARUTO - hahaha. it's still up and running! i guess it's the most popular jap manga/anime/series. ever since i entered college i haven't been given a decent dose of my favorite animes. and it pains me not to watch it on a regular basis. that's why i'm starting to be a hassler on the art of illegal downloading and piracy.

oooooh. you know my two most favorite anime soundtracks would be from Gensoumaden Saiyuki (1st season) and Gravitation!!! whenever i listen to them, i'm like being brought back to the past, during the times i gape wondrously at every saiyuki, slam dunk and naruto poster we pass by on the mall.

i miss those times.

ah, and right now i'm cleaning up my mp3 player. have to get rid of a couple of junk to give space to my new mp3s. yeey. whew. sadly though, our trusty antivirus has detected another trojan horse generic from my mp3 player. hahaha. not to worry, i'm killing that freakin horse soon. yeah. haaay i have a lot to do today. i have to do prepare for our practical test on the qualitative analysis of cations and anions. whatever that junk means. boooo.

oh look, i'm having a category for anime. hahaha

during highschool... i also remember putting up YFC. oha. it's not youth for christ... it's Yaoi Fangirls Congregation. now it's dead. booooooooo.

on school orgs:
i'm planning on joining an org (or orgs) sometime in the future... here are the ones that appeals most to me:
SChEmes (society of chemical eng'g students)
ESG (eng'g students' guild)
ChemSoc (chemical society)
up painter's club (although from what i saw, they mostly do anime portraits but...nvm)
up writer's club (though i'm not even a bit qualified. i'd like to try)

aaahh. whatever.
fuck. i only have 1 GE on my coursework next sem! this is killing me... T__T;

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i want to have my own laptop!!! i can't go pestering my dad everyday to move out coz i'm going online. haaaay

♠

fine day it is!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!

i was right. i love this day. i just slashed off 3 items from my wishlist! a new wallet, a pack of black elastic bands and tennis balls. hehe. see, it's really simple. and knowing that i'll be slashing off more numbers in the future excites me!

oh, this morning we went to the church per usual. and because it's mother's day, by tradition they gathered all the mothers in the front and gave them gifts. they give three gifts every year, mother's day, father's day and graduation. how nice. the last gift i received from our church was during my highschool graduation and i won't be getting my next gift until after 5 years OR if i become a mother sooner than that. lol.

hmmm. last monday my dad bought a pirated dvd of spiderman 3. it sucked. it's like whoever caught the film only used a cheap video camera and hid it in his bag. it's so obvious that he's trying to hide the camera. there were a lot shoulders and heads blocking the screen and the very inconsiderate pirate is always adjusting the lens of his camera so the whole steamy action between sandman and spidey is blocked by this stupid hand. i won't rant further. i mean, what am i expecting anyway? that's why...

we watched it again awhile ago. spidey occupied 6 cinemas and all of them are in premieres. mehn. i love it. and hey, i have a new found pairing!!! if you know me you should know who the lucky blokes are. oh, that's already a hint. yeey! *enter fic hunting mode*

orrryyyyt! i love my new wallet! it's exactly how i want my wallet to be. it's big, red and most of all it holds a lot of coins!!!

finally! TENNIS BALLS! i can't wait to get my tuesday afternoon off! my sister and i are going to play this tuesday! i'm so excited. weeeeeeeee.

i was also supposed to buy a centrifuge tube from national bookstore but when i saw the price i was disheartened. back in los banos a single tube only costs 18 pesos but here, it's 37! fuck the difference. and they're both Pyrex, what's wrong with that?!?

boohoooo. that centrifuge tube is not going to ruin my day, no matter how its price pissed me off.
i'm still yo ol' giddy gurl.

whoooops. something that touched me this day... two of my three daughters from elbi greeted me a happy mother's day!!! i didn't expect it! back in the dorm we're one big happy family and i'm the mother of three kids- kimmy, kyndi and kachee. and all of them have different fathers who are clueless that they have a daughter from me. LoL. thanks for the greeting, kyndi and kachee. i miss you three a looooot.

♥

101 wishlist

now i realize why it's so effective. if you were to write down 101 wishes, you'll probably run out of things to ask for come the 60th of 70th number, so you write random little wishes just to complete the list. well, chances are the random little wishes will go granted first since you have a list to remind you that you want something and since it's just a little cheap wish, you won't think twice on indulging over it. then you'll have one number to strike off your wishlist.

actually that's just my observation. but seriously, or in a deeper sense, we're just so blessed! we just don't notice it because we think there are things that should occur naturally. like the air we breathe. it's a blessing! and we ignore the fact that we're blessed with a perfectly proportioned athmosphere because it happens everyday, we breathe in and out normally. but what if we're not blessed with that? then we're dead. what about our friends? they're one of the biggest blessings God gave us and we didn't even ask for them. we didn't even write it down on a wishlist but we're like automatically given friends that would suit us best.

isn't it great that we don't have to include the most essential things in a wishlist because God has already given them to us even without asking? there's so much to be thankful for more than the things you get in your wishlist.

God is a generous God. he provides us with our needs. i'm so glad for that. the things i have on my wishlist are only the material things that would satiate the human flesh. i'm grateful that God only left us with secondary to little things to ask for since he has already provided everything we need to survive, including Him.

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i'm writing a new version of my 101 wishlist! yey! hehehe

wouldn't it be nice

i'm home! i'm home! yesterday was horrible. i was disappointed with how i took the exams. i guess everybody was, anyway. whattakiller. i don't know what to do. i'm totally clueless! and i studied. i studied! that's the irony. i felt like i did the right(est) thing by studying only to find out i'm still going to make gazillions of mistakes. this is so unfair. hahaha.

i brought my things during the exam because i'm going straight home afterwards. and i did. but i didn't know going home could be a big pain in the ass as well. it has never been this way. actually ganito yan, the bus left me! as in i chased the bus just like in koreanovelas but sadly i still missed it, or it left me. there's a difference. hahaha. ang laboooo. basta. and it's already 730. i'm afraid no more cubao buses are going to pass by. but duh, i'm here last night so what does that mean? yeah. haha and weirdo ko talaga.

i have limewire again! yey. i'm downloading lots of josh groban and bloomfields. so soooory.

tomorrow has to be a great day. it has to beeeeee...