breathe out now

mehn. the nervous feeling that's been plaguing me for more than a week now has finally left my soul to peace. i'm talking about our third long exam in chem16. well, it was really a plague that almost consumed me whole. it was freakin' hard. i was wondering how could the medicine i took 30 minutes before help me make my brain function better. do you know the tablet called glutaphos? (a tempting and potentialy addicting 5 peso/tablet) try researching about it and you'll get several feeds about it being an effective brain booster or something like it. our pastor recommended it to me last saturday and i thought, "sheesh. if this is the only thing that would make me pass the friggin subject, then so be it."

actually. no matter what the result will be, pass or fail, the more important thing to dwell upon today would be the fact that it's over! i've been generously taking more dosages of caffeine lately just to counter attack the evident symptoms of narcolepsy kicking through my veins whenever i flip a single page of an abnormaly heavy chemistry book and where else could i find a cheaper alternative? i couldn't measure the amount of relief that coursed through me the moment i handed down my blue book to the teacher. it was damn refreshing to know it's done.

ah. i've realized something as well. it might not be something new but it just dawned on me awhile ago while i was walking with a friend. a real friend is someone whom you can walk with in silence without feeling awkward. i just made that up! and i get that most of the time. a real friend is someone you feel comfortable with even in silence! you know, sometimes it happens that when i walk with someone whom i consider a friend, the moment the conversation drops off (especially if i'm with a guy), i feel weird about the sudden silence. it's awkward. mentally i'm hoping that he'd speak up and just talk and i'll do my best to reply with the best things that would hopefully lengthen the conversation (coz seriously i'm not a good conversationalist) just so the tension will subside. well, it will change in time, i know. it's just a matter of trying to feel good around your new friends that is.

for the meantime, i'm extra excited about this weekend. so much so that i'll skip psy1 this friday just to go home early!

washufgbkgfbksiag

good news. remember my other other entry where i was fuming about the debarked trees? THEY WERE NOT KILLED AT ALL! i was right when i said the debarkers were stupid, heck they really are. seems like they don't know how to debark at all which only left the trees with ugly looking scrapes on their barks but at least they're ALIVE! the leaves are still a lush shade of green and never did i see 'dying' syptoms or something of the sort. thank you Lord. thank you so much. thank you for not killing the trees. thank you for making those debarkers stupid. here you can see a concrete example of how stupidity, sometimes, has its bright side. hooooooorah.

guess where i am?? haha where else, i'm back in elbi. >.< well, it's monday again tomorrow. hopefully it'll be great! yey to my optimism! i'm excited for FRIDAY! you know, FRIDAAAAAAY!!! yehey. FRIDAY should be the BIG BREAK for me after taking our 3rd chem16 long test. the creeps mehn. you don't know how nervous i am of my standing. i borrowed a chem book in the library (first time mehn!) and damn it weighs a kiloton. o_O of course i'm exaggerating but that's how it feels! at least it was good, it made me understand all those redox junk that i'm desperately trying to absorb during classes. and ate venice lend me her zumdahl too, good thing it was a paperback edition or else it'll add up another kiloton in my bag. grrrr...

hey. i failed the second chem16 lab test. yeah, i'm a bit sad but at least i'm only 7 points behind the passing score unlike our first lecture exam where i was... wait... uhm... 23 points behind passing. yahahahahahahahaahahahaaaaa.

i'm crushless again. my crushes don't seem to last for long in my mind. i tire easily. is it a problem that i easily get bored with the same guy? i feel like a potential cheater. i feel like i'm someone who can't stand being with the same guy forever. and to think that if i marry young, i'm going to spend more than 50% of my remaining lifeline with the same guy. right now, i don't think i can take that fact yet. but who knows. haha it's part of being young.

jdskwehahdyuhgjhuywyshuyahdnwushu

crawling my way to a tres

the world goes still, so still inside and

when you say you love me

for a moment there's no one else alive

aww. i love that song. it's so sweet. yey. i watched the UP ravens last night that's why i wasn't able to go home on the same day, but anyway i'm back. bwahahaha. the production was, honestly, poor. their blocking was off as well. i couldn't say the 100 bucks i paid for the ticket paid off. but on the bright side, i was with my friends and we were cheering for marco. he has the most fans... that's us and i must say he's the only comic relief in the stage. yey to my blocmate! congrats to those who performed as well... especially my other blocmate kochang, my phlo1 classmate kirk and my psy1 classmate evy. hahaha. i didn't know you had it in you.

so. at least i got a good feel of the auditorium. it was my first time there. and hey, my crush was there. with another girl whom i presume is the one he's courting (or is already his girlfriend). i couldn't care less. actually and i was wondering when the killer arrow will strike me dead because i didn't feel jealous or something. for one thing, i already know what's happening between them and pretty much i'm just playing the role of an imaginary third party.

damn. my upper lip is swollen. >.< so what's driving me? ah, you ask. i've found a new yaoi pairing in Death Note and obviously it's LxRaito. i'm reading a fic right now.

hmm. i miss my friends. i want to transfer to diliman, badly, but seeing that i am too dumb to garner an average of 2.50, i guess i'm stuck in los banos... for life. i'm not afraid of repeating chem16 because if there's no opening of chem17 this summer and 1st sem then i'll still see my previous classmates in the next class. well, there's a chance, yes... but what a shame. what a shame talaga.

waaaaaaah!!! i need to study chem!!!

death note

it's the cause why i've been spending too much money these days. would you believe i've shelled out a thousand bucks already in just 4 days without even noticing? that's the pain of being so awfully addicted to Death Note. i can't watch it anywhere but here where they have fast internet connections and i'm just too anxious to wait for someone to lend me the series. anyhow. forget about how much thrifty i've become this week. the point is, i have a sister and with her, i guess i am guaranteed food that will hopefully last me for 2 days. though i have to pay her back when i get my allowance.

 

speaking of allowance. i just couldn't bear the fact that i can't save at least 50% of what i'm getting per week just because of this abnormal addiction (that will hopefully run out in a matter weeks) to an anime series.

 

if you must know, Death Note is a potentially addictive japanese anime that, in my opinion, is like an animated version of a paranormal CSI case. i swear, you'd be hooked the moment you read the synopsis or watch the first half of my episode. take it from me, i'm sacrificing a good meal just to have enough money to pay for the internet. -_-;;

 

breaking the rules

ooops. okay. i think the profile where i'm watching the L word has a virus, or something equally harmful. a fresh minute ago while watching episode two, the computer restarted and everything i've typed here went poof! -- gone. -_-;; two days ago in another computer shop, while watching the same episode (coz i can't seem to finish it with the unusual bagdowns), the screen went blank and reappeared to have a bigger resolution. i ignored. then after while a short while it went blank again and went back to the normal screen resolution. i closed the video and the weird stuff stopped happening.

dear dear. i'm back to infiltrating harmful stuff to computer shops. i think i'm a virus in my past life. i don't want to end up like i did to primelink solutions where, as much as i'd like to go back... i can't because of er.. shame! yeah shame.

so. i can't watch L word for now. i guess i just have to buy a dvd. haha, i wish i were legal!!!!
speaking of legal...

happy 18th birthday michieeeee!!!!!!

my friends are turning legal one by one and i'm being left in the bracket of stupid minors with limited privileges... >.< awww. i'm the last to turn 18! well, it's okay. hahaha.

so, L word's out. next in line is Death Note! yeah, it's about time to learn how this wicked series infected my friends. and who knows i'm going back to being an otaku? ♥

loading...

i love receiving e-newsletters from Cnet. they cover up the most important tech topics on the web and they give you super reliable answers and advices coming from the tech pro's themselves and other active members. right now i'm learning a lot on which antivirus works best because as usual, i'm having problems managing my system. grrr... i promised to save money to get a decent and licensed antivirus but i realized why do i have to when i can get an equally functional antivirus for free?

so yeah. i'm moving from norton to AVG antivirus free edition. it's around 18MB but what's that in exchange of maximum security? okay. what led me to AVG is also the fact that most computer shops use it and it works well. most antiviruses slow down your computer even when they're scanning in the background but AVG doesn't. what else, when it detects a threat you can easily choose 'heal' and it will automatically heal the infected file unlike norton which transfers the file to quarantine first before healing it. in fact i don't think it actually heals because i've never encountered a 'healed' file among the threats it has detected.

soooo... since it's FREE and will only consume 18MB of diskspace, i'll give it a shot.
if you're interested you can download it here.

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enter: hippy mode

yey. i'm home! whew. well, i'm glad i'm finished with most of my homeworks. >.< i have until the end of tonight to finish them all because i don't have time to spare tomorrow.

last night, our parents met us up in sm megamall. they brought food. hehe. as usual. so we ate in the car and toured afterwards. haaay, i'm getting sore of megamall. next time i'll hop to st. francis square to check out if they have the complete season of the L word. hahaha.

so we strolled around, checked furnitures and galleries and also took a moment to check this week's open exhibit. it was great. i never knew there were artists capable of doing such emotive paintings. i especially liked the works of emannuel garibay. super bow ako. i love the way he puts ulterior meanings to traditional filipino scenarios. it's full of.... hmm ... politics and controversy. things i hate but nevertheless love when they're played by an artists hand.

then we drank coffee in starbucks. i was the one who initiated because... i can't stop myself. then i strolled more... it's almost 10pm when i saw joseph and sandara walk past me. i was semi-star strucked. i have my cam phone with me but i supressed the urge because there's a much stronger force pulling me to the opposite side... the CR. so i walked away... i'm almost near the comfort room when i saw on the other side of the wing, jopay of sexbomb and this other tv guy. i stopped in my tracks. hello? that's like... jopay! my favorite sexbomb dancer! haha. call me whatever later, shut up for now. anyhow, the 'stronger force' i was talking about awhile ago is still so keen on pulling me back to my senses. and i must say it's really strong. i felt a sting of rush come to me when i notice the lights are being turned off, the stalls are closing and the boutiques are dimming as well. oh no, they might lock the CR. hahaha. ah basta... naka-CR naman ako. thank God.

9:30 entry

news: it's the first time ever that i created a layout that worked well in other browsers. remember the last version of this layout is skrewed in firefox? now it's not. it came to me one night when i was having my usual solitary sessions that i have a float: right property embedded on the navigation column and so i thought maybe i could float the content area to the other side... and well, it worked. yehey. although it just dawned on me lately, it's a good thing i thought of it. haha.

damn shane. whenever i get the chance i always damn shane. like now, damn you shane. damn you to hell. why do you have to be like that? "i'm shane, sometimes girly, mostly male". and your voice... it's deep and seductive. damn you. but like i said almost one year ago, i'm over you. shit, i'm already a college student in a co-ed university. don't you dare bring me back the horrors of teenage hormonal imbalance. it's err... killing me.

good things there's .... ♥
aah... i don't want to think of it because i know i'll just end up like i already did when ryan was engaged to juday.