occupation: labandera

i want to do a lot of things today! the insanity bell rings only when i'm idle and i can't bear to be insane for the whole summer.
you see, right now my college life is a big blur. first of all, i don't know which university to go to. it's not because i have a lot of choices, it's because i don't have any choice!! as in WALA! mom doesn't want me to be in UST and it hurts because it's the only school i passed.
and i won't have a school to enter until late May.

that's why i'm putting that in the least of my worries because it will spoil my summer.

last last afternoon i had a dream, and it really freaked me out.
i was in school, studying and it's music pd. you know how i hate that subject right? then i said to myself, "sana buhay pa si ms. pineda". then suddenly i felt something heavy pressing down on me. i can feel myself sinking in my bed, i tried hard to open my eyes and wake but my eyelids were too heavy. i decided to submit. i went back to my dream and saw myself heading down the stairs, then i stood in front of the organ and began to remove the cover. next thing i knew i was playing already. that's where i felt really scared. i struggled to wake up, i can't continue playing, i don't even know what i'm playing. you know the feeling of struggling to get out of your dream? it's like in your dream you suddenly realized you were just dreaming and you wanted to get out it but you can't? mehn, that's too freaky... i thought i was being possessed in my dream. but anyway, it's nice to think that i can play that well even though i was just a dream.

by the way, it's the second time i experienced a similar thing. last time what i said was, "sana mapanaginipan ko si blue"... then i felt heavy, i was sinking in my own bed... fortunately (or unfortunately) i woke up.

you see, maybe that thing only happens when you wish for something while you're dreaming.

:D

magnetic resonance ____?

i forgot what MRI means... maybe the I is for imaging... i'm not sure.
you may have not forgotten about my knee pain yet since i always, always mention it like it's already part of this blog...

we went to an ortho last last week and he had me MRI-ed. it's like an x-ray but it focuses more on the flesh surrounding the bones. and it's freakin' expensive... >=\ but anyway, that's where you can use the power of a health care card.

impressions: intrasubstance degeneration, lateral meniscus.
minimal joint effusion

oh well, my mom and i were clueless on their findings. i don't question their assesment but how can they tell me it's minimal when i feel so tortured with my kneeeeeeee???????!!!???

research: so.. joint effusion means swelling inside the joint. and intrasubstance degeneration, LM means... i don't know! i have no idea, sometimes it's accompanied by a meniscal (i don't know this term) tear but i guess i'm negative for that.

e ano gamot don? opera? therapy?

mehn, the moment i saw the MRI machine i think of myself as a hopeless cancer patient. LoL
during the process i felt so scared! after some while the doctor left me in the room and i hear nothing. then suddenly i heard a knocking sound. what the hell is that? i don't remember METAL doors to sound like that when knocked on. i'm so paranoid, it's too cold and i am not allowed to move my legs. then the knocking sound stopped. silence fell between the room and i. i frantically looked around, hoping the doctor didn't really leave me and that he's just there waiting, tapping his fingers on the table, making that knocking sound. but hell, i should know when a person is around me or not. i was alone there, or maybe not. then followed a loud buzzing sound.
the knocking sound sure scared me but the buzzing sound gave me the answer that it's the machine making all those things.
when you hear the buzz, you'll certainly feel sort of relieved because you know it's the machine and not some imaginary scary audio source. but to me, hearing the buzz sounds like danger. i thought the machine is malfunctioning i had the desire to actually push the stop button which is within my reach and scramble my way out there and prove myself insane.

he.. wala na ko masulat. =D
lalalallalaaa.... maglalaba nanaman ako bukaaaaasss.... heheheee =D

good news!

good news! my handheld is now working! yay! after months of looking for an electronics repair shop that will accept my palm (which has hard-to-find spare parts), we finally found one which is just 5 minutes away from home. =\ i know it'll give them (and me too) a hard time to look for tungsten parts so i just let them switch the lcd parts from my dad's palm (which has a wrecked switch) to mine. hehe... mehn and they charged us 500! good thing a good haggler (???) was there with me... so in the end we paid 350. which is still too big considering we only have to pay for the labor... and they just made up that price because they weren't really specializing on handhelds. grr... XP

there's something wrong with this monitor... i can't explain but it's pretty sick (and scary) to see it turning into a static often. seconds ago the screen shrank into a thin line then it went black. i closed the monitor and reopened it again and i'm glad the screen is ok but it's still acting weird.

yey. i have new slippers, (mehn, this monitor is really sick) a taller one. and that's where my first wage was used.
LoL, i have an unofficial summer job. unofficial because...
well, you wouldn't condsider getting paid to do your home laundry a summer job, right?
i'm enjoying it anyway.

maybe i'll write again later, i have nothing more to say. :D

note: money spent is money lost

i think i'm done with pampering myself... i've roamed the mall a lot of times already and i'm tired. i never went shopping, really. i just want to look around, watch a movie perhaps and of course.. eat.

ate theresa and i went to ust awhile ago to confirm my slot and pay 5 thou since i have to hold my report card until the uplb wait-list results are released. it was very tiring i kept moving floor to floor, up and down, dragging my knees up trying get past the pain my right knee is giving me, meeehn. it was too late when i realised there was an elevator. sometimes i really get stupid but to cover that up i have to admit that the elevator, which was just in front of the commerce bldg. entryway, was somewhat camouflaging with the walls. ~_-;;

then we went home...
a couple of times before, i was trying to argue with my mom that i could manage from home to ust... but after this trip i can no longer say that. more or less it would take me 2 hours of travel to and from the campus. on those trips i slept, and i mean really slept that i could recall myself dreaming while my head is leaning on the bus window with my mouth slightly opened. if ate theresa wasn't there to wake me up then i would probably be on the outskirts of divisoria looking for the right jeep or if was heading home i would definitely be in front of SM fairview, that's good, i guess.

if all else fails or if i'll be caught in the 'worst scenario' as my mom put it... i'll be studying in FEU-fern. i could only appease myself with one thing, it's near. but anyway, as i was frequently telling myself in school right after i knew i failed 3/4 of all the cet's i took, success cannot be measured with the university you graduated from, look at Henry Sy and Lucio Tan. wala lang tingnan nyo lang... hehe.

inspired

during one of our grad practices jami and i (perhaps mika was there too =) ) were intrigued with the materpieces the gradeschool art teacher was posting at the podium stage. everything was nice i was almost shocked on how the gradeschool pupils did it!

eventually we found out they used felt paper as the canvass and oil pastel as the medium. i never thought that was possible until they have tried it.

last night i bought a white felt paper to experiment on that kind of art. i drew a mother carrying her child. it was nice, seriously.. i thought it was hard to do something on felt paper but it's a lot easier than rendering it on paper.

you should try it, you'll never be disappointed.

next i drew Jesus with the crown of thorns, i always get emotional when i draw that... and i've been drawing it frequently...

gusto ko sana i-scan kaso masiyadong malaki... ^^:;
hehe..

the simpler the better

there is one important thing separating a superhero from a hero.

a superhero cannot be with the woman he loves without risking her life. he cannot mingle with the townspeople without hiding his identity. he is present everytime there is trouble but he doesn't celebrate with them through their victory. a superhero is very limited with his actions. he doesn't take "saving my countrymen from danger" as his primary mission, instead it's "preventing marsians from conquering the world". a superhero exists only when there is a villain.

i don't really know why i'm writing this. my head has gone bonkers this summer, too many things are crowding in my head. some logical enough to share and some just pathetically silly, i don't know what interests people...

on with it... i'm just wondering to myself why i don't have a superhero role model. should i blame my parents for not intorducing Darna to me when i was smart enough to read comic books? then it must be their fault too that i fell to idolizing a japanese poltergeist hunter which sounds rather worse than being a groupie of a superhero who flies in a skimpy red bikini.

anyway, i just want to convince myself that i don't need superheroes, just as i can live without this certain japanese poltergeist detective.. however you call them.

it sounds funny that most superheroes aquire animal and non-human strength... like spiderman and batman. they made me believe that superhuman strength can be aquired by genetically breeding yourself to an animal or an object that behaves strongly. or if not, you have to be involved in a traggic accident and survive, then you'll discover something in you has changed. you're a superhero now, or a supervillain perhaps.

more or less that's what i see with superheroes...

meanwhile there is a more noble term for those who are not ambitious enough to save the whole world from a comet that is about to hit the planet, they simply roam around doing whatever their jobs may be and when something happens that they think their help is needed, they go to the rescue breaking their daily routine then suffer the consequences later..

haha.. labo.

ehehe... wala lang. superheroes are, in the first place, fictional characters made to impress us while heroes are real. they get the recognition after doing a heroic deed while superheroes get a bunch of thankyou's with their mere presence even when they haven't done a single thing yet. don't you think that's unfair?

oh well, might as well end this already. =)

freedom! forever!

i hate system interruptions! i know you hate them too! i'm in the middle of writing a blog post then suddenly this computer shuts down! worse is, i'm downloading a 5 mb file and i'm freakin 89% done. they say the worst is yet to come and indeed... the moment i open the pc the antivirus warns us that there is a sneaky little bug bloating itself with the remaining sanity present in this pc. well, they all suck.

my sister and i watched v for vendetta awhile ago in smf. i can barely remember the last time i watched a highly laudable movie like that. natalie portman was great as usual. hugo weaving's voice was manly handsome, every word he says is elegantly delivered. if there's someone i would credit the most among the offscreen staff, it would be the scriptwriter. it was simply great.

after watching terai treated me to starbucks as my grad gift... hehe.
then i went to tokyo tokyo to fulfill my maki cravings. i must say their cali maki looks a bit bigger than before and that's good.
saw karin and reiko... talked for awhile, majorly about summer job hunting... sana makahanap din kayo. =)

then we went to fcm... had my picture taken for some university requirements. while waiting i played in the arcade. i wish i have those car racing things they have there... =)

oh well. there ends my day... i'm looking forward to college life and it's thrills.