wow. it's friday

i didn't notice it that much. it's too boring that time has moved slower than usual.

this week is not the busiest but it's the most boring (i know i already mentioned it). i'm glad we're done with the truth in love backdrop (much to my dismay that someone thinks i'm not doing anything at all. thanks ah). in my own perspective it's okay, not grand like the backdrops i've seen before. nevertheless it's nicer and better. i can't be too proud of it because i think (because someone else thinks) i didn't do much. that's why i was venting in my previous post. whatever.

yesterday i forgot to watch a very important episode of kim sam sun! mehn, i hated it. all the while, from the moment i got home i just re-read the manga 'love mode' and downloaded a couple of mangas as well.

right now i'm reliving the yaoi fangirl in me. i want to read mangas or doujinshis that are humorous and angsty. those that will strike a pang of hurt in my heart. heh, i'm hopeless.

mehn, sakura-crisis is down. grr...

i'll wanna watch 'she's the man' this weekend. it'd be hillarious. =D
sorry nez, can't come today (stupid i even urged some to agree =).. enjoy.

hate list update

you ruined my day. curse you and your goddamn self to the deepest pit of inferno.
may your head sprout in lucifer's mouth and may you suffer the company of your three other brothers. you're now four: brutus, cassius, judas and bruce. LoL, bagay pala...

for your information, i am so depressed with what you said. you dispensed this little ounce of hope in me that believes that i am being useful too.

i have claimed to be a frustrated artist before. now, i am NOT an artist anymore. and i need not prove it. i'll draw when i want to, not because you want me or some group of leg-breakers ask me to.

fuck you.

of course, i cannot contain my hate to you alone because you have suffered a severe case of damnation in this blog as i have mentioned you for a million times already in my hate list.

70% of my hate goes to you but for the remaining 20 and 10...

i just can't bear to hate you for a long time because you're a close friend of mine, thus you recieve just a minute 20% of my hate for the moment (which is subject to wrathful thoughts and evilness). you see, i cannot oppose to your opinion if you think i'm not helping and i'm just slouching around but next time, chose a better translator, one who knows what you're talking about and not just anyone who sits in your FRONT. i still love you as a friend but for the meantime just bear the stoic evilness in me.

you, the odds are high that you cannot read this but i just want to tell you that i hated you because you called my name (and that's a good 10% of my hate). just that, a very shallow reason of calling out my name to be insulted by the bitch sitting BESIDE you. i didn't even know you knew my name. you lost most of my respect (not that you need mine). tsss, and seriously... if you want to break a leg on your coming play, make sure you break both of them... and i mean literally.

you can think whatever you want. that i'm shallow and my reasons for hating people are pointless. but let me warn you that i'm only allowing you to think, not write or blab anything in my blog. this is my vent and this is exactly what i'm doing, i'm venting everything out, like a hot steam coming out from a boiling water.

this is the steam, i'm the boiling water, and you are the fire.

---
sobrang nakakabadtrip talaga. kala ko panaman masaya tong araw na to.. hindi pala. ayoko na magpintura, you ruined my mood. it's funny how you seem to affect me a lot, and i'm sinking in humiliation on how i'm becoming loser just because of this.

i can't quit though, not now when i have one wish to strike off of my wishlist. i didn't realize i have to risk my feelings for this.

---
bad news: mom's dress, which is my best pick for the grad ball, is hopeless. nobody wants to repair it because the stitches are complicated and the cloth is very fragile.we actually want to make it smaller but it's hard.

good news: we bought a simpler dress in sm dep't store worth 500. it's black and white and it pretty much fits the ocassion (but not like how my mom's dress fit perfectly).

fingers crossed: i hope nobody wears the same dress.

luck is rare

i beg to disagree. i came through a few realizations when i was in the hotel. i was bored you know and i there isn't much to see in cabled tv so i just went out on the veranda and looked at the night sky. i was in the ninth floor so the view is pretty amazing up there with the lights from the buildings from afar and from the yachts parked on (in?) the bay.

well, there's this minor thing i've been wondering. why do we say we're lucky if we see a four leafed clover or a rabbit's foot? because they're rare. so it sort of implies that luck is rare too. mehn, i don't know but i don't like it that way. luck (good fortune) isn't something to be relied on rare things! how are you supposed to get lucky then? ay ewan, let's just take it this way. you are lucky when you see a four leafed clover because it's rare and it's nice to find rare things but it doesn't mean that it'll bring you luck. you're just lucky because you found something rare.

we brand a lot of our items as 'lucky' charms because something good happens when we are with them. just like my lucky mechanical pencil, it's been with me for 4 years because i realized that everytime i draw with it, it turns out to be amazing but then a pencil is just a pencil, i can draw with any pencil (as long as it's sharpened) just as you can run in any street or look good in any dress.

LoL, i don't see my point.
maybe it goes like this. luck isn't supposed to be contained in a rare item. like how you call a marker rare just because you write good using them and it doesn't happen in most markers. er... haha.. ewan ko.

gets nyo ba?
i suck in explaining things this way, maybe you should just ask me if it's unclear. or maybe you shouldn't bother. anyway, i just want to vent it out.

when i'm depressed i sometimes think that's God doesn't know my feelings (i know i'm hell WRONG but that's how lonely i feel). just like how i don't know others' well. it's like this, when i saw the spectacular view from the ninth floor. i thought everyone was all merry and happy because there isn't a speck of panic or a cloud of dark thick smoke to alarm me. the view from above will make you think that everything's alright and peaceful but when you come down and mingle with them, you'll see how chaotic it is.

does God look at it that way? heaven is a very high place, maybe he sees our country as a peaceful one because he sees only green and he doesn't notice the trees falling one by one. from above earth seems kinda tranquil but from below, from the people's point of view everyone's mad in here.

i think God should let down Jesus once again so that he'll know how bad it is down here.

i know i'm stupid, suddenly questioning God's almighty power of knowing EVERYTHING that's happening around us. I'm was just wondering... key word - WAS. i already know the answer. stupid i only realized now.

saiyuki's back

yay! at last i finished my new bookmark. there, i made it roughly the size of a playing card since i don't want my bookmarks to get all creased and folded. =(

saiyuki's back ---> 530pm on GMA. my all time anime favorites are making a comeback. slam dunk has been repeatedazillion times already yet the inner sd freak in me just can't get enough of the basketball action and the "overly" implied gayness among the 6 ft. bishies.

now it's saiyuki's turn to invade the world. mehn, the only thing that frustrates me is the change of character voices. once in AXN, sanzo's voice is sexy and low and very seme-ish, now he sounds like an uke with a higher voice. anyway, it doesn't really matter..

i'm in ff.net right now and i hate it that saiyuki has no character filter! grr... =
awhile ago i had this really devastating dream (i'm exaggerating). i was sleeping on the couch in my parent's room and i dreamt of sitting on a couch in front of Shakey's in FCM. my sister is there, very unusual. i ordered a caesar salad and while waiting my sister and i talked. i remember playing the guitar too.

what happened next really sucked...

as the waitress slowly approaches me with my salad, guess what?

AAAAAHHHH!!! I WOKE UP ALREADY!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET MY CEASAR SALAD PASS JUST LIKE THAT!!!! IT'S VERY DEPRESSING. I WOKE UP REALLY HUNGRY, I WAS THINKING OF GOING TO FCM TO CLAIM MY DREAM SALAD BUT I HAVE NO MONEy WITH ME! I WISH I COULD GO BACK TO SLEEP AND EAT MY SALAD! mehn, IF ONLY I COULD USE MY DREAM TO TELL THEM THAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME A SALAD. =(

this is sad.

the divine bowl of ramen

i never thought i've eaten a lot of ramen throughout my whole life. i thought it was normal for koreans to have these really big instant noodles with little nori squares and cute starburst shaped thing with an orange swirl inside... i wouldn't have cared so much on the label since it's korean and i think it doesn't matter if it's ramen or just any of my usual giant instant noodles so why do i sound so bewildered that it's actually ramen i've been eating the whole time?

probably because i have nothing more interesting to write about. and most probably because i'm reading a naruto fic right now and he's describing his steamy bowl of ramen and i found out we've been eating the same thing all day! only, he knows what he's eating and i consider mine as... noodles. to hear naruto describe his godly bowl of ramen will make you think it's on the peak of all divinities when simply stated it's just a freakin bowl of ductiled dough processed with too much sodium and all else cancerous.

anyway, i seriously think i should be studying right now. i guess i should leave... so bye.

i'm back to shane

i found this site where you can watch videos for free.. music videos, movies, series...

You Tube

check it out. so far i got a lot of video feeds from The L Word.
i think there's finl destination 3 there... try it.

maybe i'll direct link you to a couple of shane clips later... like you care.

haha, i haven't started studying for our exams on monday... good luck to me.

i think i'll be absent friday after the exams, i'm still thinking of a better (and reasonable) excuse without showing a medical certificate...

you're so vain. tsk, if only mirrors could laugh.

i admire a hell lot of people. and the more i like them the more i see my imperfections, my short-comings and everything else that is not me.

alongside admiration, of course, is envy. i envy those who are smarter that i am. who wouldn't? they are unknowingly pulling me down, down and down to the brink of self-denial and incompetency. i feel stupid when i'm with them, they make me look like a side-kick, and i DAMN hate that. you, go away.

i don't know but i came to realize my own version of the difference of admiration and envy. normally, when we admire someone smarter that we are, they are usually not in our level. like einstein or newton and all the geekheads of the renaissance (count your seniors too, your parents, teachers...). envy comes along when you know someone your equal is (or seems) greater than you are. like a classmate, a friend, your sister... anyone you know so well. yeah, that happens a lot. then competition starts...

competition is done not only by rivals and enemies, it could also be done with a friend and this happens a lot of times.

sometimes i observe people who secretly compete with their friends (count me in). i'm guilty of that, i have this ocassional need to assure myself that i am not in the bottom line and that i have more to show. call it bad, the hell i care...

even with my close friends i can feel the competition. it's actually present everywhere. you're a complete liar if you deny it.

i don't see the reason why i wrote this, it just came into my mind that i've been secretly competing a lot.

anyway, i will leave that evil side already and heed this quote my dad shared to me one time, "the best way to compete is to stay out of competition."

mehn, can you believe it? i'm out of the Caffeine Addicts Rehab! i'm not craving for coffee anymore (although i still have this 'drugged' feeling when i smell something like coffee). i'm out of inferno, maybe i'm now in purgatorio for the cleansing process.

damn it, my toe nail broke. maybe i was cursed not to have long nails forever. whenever i grow them successfully something will always happen that will end in me cutting them shorter again. damn fate.