questioning my religious upbringing

i don't know if i'll still end up in heaven someday... that's my ultimate dream you know!
i've been a mega sinner.
because of that my parents called for a bible study in our prayer sanctuary that i rarely visit... because it's way on the top floor and i'm lazy.
what's wrong with me? i always pray at night! i even left my traditional way of praying... the patethic way of praying wherein i make myself sound so kawawa...
i'm not kawawa... i talk to God like i'm a neighbor... the "hey God kamusta ka na? paki bati naman po ng happy holloween sa mga lolo ko o, pati na rin sa mga angels dyan...happy halloween"
masama ba yun?
but i like praying that way!!
grrr... and my parents think i'm losing touch with God because they don't see and hear me pray... =(

comown... i'd be dead by now if i don't have God.
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oh well.
happy holloween!

a quickie post before frog prince

start of sembreak!
i'm not happy since i have a lot of shitloads to deal with, count the projects in...

haay i wanna have my coffee treat already... =(
oh yeah, sooner or later i'm gonna slash one item off my wishlist again!
speak - lurie halse anderson
i'm currently reading it... i borrowed the book from adri
i would rather have my own copy of it but what's the difference? i rarely re-read books anyway, it will just stay on my shelf for decoration and space.
oh well, artemis fowl will follow during the xmas break, i'm so deprived of time to read books... my AF is an ebook which makes me unthrilled to read it because it doesn't come in handy! plus, i promised to finish reading series of unfortunate events first so... carry on r-yan
i would love to if someone would just let me borrow her books so that i can free our pc with some 5 megabytes... =)

anyone?
it's time already!
frog prince!

grade booster huh?

ok, i hope it's not too late to share this but i find (found???) it really helpful. =)

El Fili Study Notes
oh well, look at me. i'm 9 years out of gradeschool and i always thought...
lOl nevermind

the math test was manageable, i'm expecting a high grade in my test because my quizzes are dragged down because of my stupidity!!! grr..

now now, i need to work hard on my pinoi test because i can't afford a failing grade! guess what? my quiz average is a freakin low 68! i would appreciate it better if it were the reverse of it but noooo!

now what? have to study have to study have to study! repeat that until it's 9:30pm and that's the time i open my book and read. i'm so in the procastinating mode today but nevertheless i won't let this lazy brat get the better of me.

how do i start, well the best way to start is to shut this web browser down, disconnect and turn off the computer...
3 steps i cannot bear to do!!

you see, i'd rather not blog during the exam week, better yet not open the computer at all, but the tempation is rising!
so here i am, as you can't see, in the basement, sitting on a monobloc chair, typing on the laptop on top of a wooden table, hearing mom talk to her client over the phone, and blaming myself for a job well done in failing my quizzes!

why do you think i'd waste my time blaming it all on me? why can't i just start studying?

because i'm lazy.

oh, before i forget, i hate the CL test. not because of the difficulty rate but because of the essay questions. i always regard a teacher lazy whenever she just throws in a lot of essay questions and do little of objective type questions because it's so easy to create an essay question but it takes a lot of braincells to answer them correctly.

i hate answering essays, especially essays on CL and other religious stuff. there's this word most of us don't understand and because i was infuriated with it my first sentence was: First of all, i don't know what [this certain word] means but i'm not stupid enough not to have the slightest hint on what it wishes to imply.
yeah, rude.
there's another essay there, about the materialism and consumerism stuff. my first sentence was: My family is not materialistic.
haha, serves you right.

mehn, i'm so bad.
i know.
and because of that i recieved a verbal slip. no, of course not because of answering like that. tardy...

weee. i'm listening to gwen stefani right now... cool.

frog prince mania

here is the link for my previous layouts.

melodia04@blogskins

i decided to make an archive of them in blogskins for other people to use... =) i'll continue doing layouts for as long as i have the skill and the desire to do so... =)

you can use some of them if you like.
i haven't uploaded all of my prev layouts because i don't intend to do so, some of my layouts just suck so i guess i'll just share those which passed my standards.

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i'm into my chinovela obsession again. frog prince is just like the other chinovelas i've watched before, those with really really exciting and romantic beginnings. yes, beginning only, i still don't know if the series will make me sustain my interest in it. other chinovelas i've watched have really good starts but what happens in the middle is they become super mushy because the courting stage ends and the persons from opposite sides of the poles get attracted with each other and develop a relationship and that ends the cliffhanger.

my mom has a crush on ming dao! well, me too of course.
why am i talking about these things?
i should study!!!
actually i'm looking for matthew ming pictures but it's hard! grr, i want to sketch him... hihi.
ok, so matthew ming is ming dao... wait i think i should look harder

inhale... exhale

a lot of schools started their sembreaks weeks before and look at us poor shsians, we still have to go through the agonizing labors (exaggerating) of studying! what is so wrong with our school that we have to spend only 1 week break? and 4 of those days will be used for project making!!! that is so unfair! i have a lot plans in mind to do during the sembreak but now all of them are to be rescheduled for... summer perhaps?

i can't take it. before i sleep by 3pm let me just tell you how my study habits went for the ist day of tests.
we had econ, computer and accounting awhile ago and it was just last night that i started studying...
specifically i started browsing my econ book at 9:30pm. i know it's late but i'm easily distracted by a lot of things like i still watched frog prince and darna and when i went to my room to internalize about my risky procastination through feeling the cold air gushing out from the aircon, i ended up drop dead on the bed sleeping.

not for long because because i felt my cellphone vibrate under the pillow. my bestfriend texted a joke about a TNT whose name is DAN and his misadventures as a paranoid in america. it was really funny so i went out of the room immediately and shared the joke to my family. after making them laugh a while i found myself plopped on the couch watching charmed. i'm not really an avid viewer but i found that episode interesting where pheobe was on the top of piper's death list... oh well. why do interesting episodes like that show only when i DON'T need them. the God of discipline is not with me that time, neither was the God of wisdom.

10:30 came and that's the moment i realized that i have to take things seriously but just when i thought i have all the chance to make a good start, my dad, mom and sister entered the room meaning they're about to sleep and they need the lights off and the music down. you see there is only one aircon in our house and it belongs to my room so all 4 of us have to camp in my considerably big room and feel the coolness together.

i told them i have to study so i need not to turn the lights off but come on, i can't resist that temptation of not talking to them! haynaku talaga... after all the chit chat and jiggies i chose to study at last!
after studying ap, i went to sleep immediately for the 3-in-one coffee i drank has lost its powers

blah blah, so in the end i didn't finish studying everything that's needed to be studied. when i woke up that morning, i rushed my morning routine and studied computer while dad takes me to school, then during recess i studied accounting... =)

i'm so dead.

history of melodia

most of my usernames are under the netnick melodia04. hihi wala wala, i just want to explain. =) here's the reason, there is this anime character i really really like, his name is Musica and he belongs to the Rave series. Simply put, Musica's sweetheart is Melodia and so i became melodia!
you see? if you really love Romeo, wouldn't you name yourself after Juliet?
if you like oranges, wouldn't you like lemons too?
if you fancy gays, why not lesbians? haha i don't!
if you like doctors, you should hate apples. aaahh whatever.

i'm going nuts. hihi
i learned a lot of things in veronika decides to die! like, why are our keyboards not alphabetically arranged? or why do the clock hands move from left to right? not that it bothers me but the book answered it. hihi

oooohh, my sister gave me an advanced birthday gift! i now have 48 pcs. classic colored pencils! take note! faber castel! time to strike something off of my wishlist!

i love grapes.

what a water escapade!

my toes and fingers are much too shrivelled right now due to the very very exciting (note the sarcasm) water escapade we had awhile ago. the whole 2nd floor of our house was flooded because my sister left the water foset on. so, all of us in this house gathered upstairs to immediately dry the place up. you know what's weird?
the closest room to the cr (from which the water came from) wasn't reached by the water but MY room was!! it was so puzzling -_-;; and my room has the most number of stuff inside, there's the stand fan, the wooden table and chair, the guitar (grrr!), my turtle stuffed toy that was lying on the floor (grrr!!!) and the queen sized cusion ON the floor(daaaanngg!)!!!
what more, the floor is not tiled ceramic it's varnished wood!!!
wwwwaaaaahhhhh!!
i'm soo angry with the other room! how come mine's the one victimized when it's farther from the cr!! grrr!

but anyway, while we were cleaning i wasn't angry with my sister or with the water that mercilessly soaked my stuff toy and the cusion we used to sleep on, i was actually full of optimism.
my dad was the pessimist one so i had to calm him down by saying that this event calls for a major 'knock first' emergency call!

hmmm... hehe it exhausted me so much mopping the whole place and accmumulating dust on my hands. eeww i so hate the feeling of strands of hair coiling on my fingers. gaaahhh.

all in all i can't say it's a horrible experience coz it's actually fun, it's been decades since the whole of my family cleaned together.

hihi. tomorrow na USTET!
gud luck to me at sa lahat ng kukuha!

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my sister and i watched 'the twins effect' awhile ago. quite nice! edison chen is so cute!
JACKKIEEEE CHAAAAANNN IS STILLLLL AWESOOMEELLYY COOOLLL!!! \m/