wednesday =)

hello there... ^_^;;
weeeee... the photo gallery [including me!] group did a good job awhile ago.. plus yesterday!
hehe... ang kyut nung design nameeennn.... ahahahaaa... plus the essay.. i kind of liked it with my little revisions.. pero oks lng...maganda naman... wish ko lang talaga manalo kami kasi kung sa design lang naman ang pag-uusapan... among the other sections... mas maganda naman ung samen... [hindi naman sa pagmamayabang...^^;] pero that's what i see... eheheheee..

----
yey! we had p.e. awhile ago. and seriously, i got excited nnman maglaro ng softball.. unfortunately ang init init sa field and miss aureada's hesitating to let us play.. considering na malapit na ang prom.. haha... pero basta.. gusto ko na maglaro..

kaso nga lang... jusko ah! ang tagal na ng group 1 and 4 na maglaro! almost 3 weeks samantalang ung samen... 1/4 of the period lang...-_-;; hmmphhh...

ano kaya club ko sa interclub?
feeling ko mag ta-taekwondo na lang ako! hihi...
or softball kaya? kaso la akong kasamaaaa.....>.<

LoL... speaking of club... buti na lng at G D C9 lang ang chords ng tutugtugin nmen... that means i don't need to bring voldy around at school! instead i'll be bringing a guitar... hehe...
aND... ms. alberto asked me kung bat di na lang daw ako mag organ... (haha! akala ko panaman ayaw mo na ko mag-organ coz i'm being a burden to the club!) sabi ko nahihirapan na ako magdala.. hehe.. 22o naman... ah basta..

----
^^;;

happy valentines!

well..belated actually... hehe..
i ate a lot of chocolates yesterday.. and today din.. haha pero sad i didn't get to eat my ferrero...-_-;; because of that stupid CL activity... (yes i'm mad..) and it's not that stupid .. seeing as to how it affected me this much...
cge.. laugh. there's nothing funny actually.

ok off topic. haha.. there's nothing quite valentine-ish with this post...
my love life is still unclear... haha.. still the usual 75 dots per image black and white picture...ehehe..

----
haayy... this day is so tiring... quizzes, homeworks... that's why i slept laid down on the floor awhile ago after answering the guidance test, which happens to be another mental checkup... -_-;; i'm getting insane.

and then... today is the mounting of the pictures and essay in the photo gallery.. haayy... so tired talaga.. pero hell.. still have to revise ( mean, widen down ) the essay.. haha. kaya ko toh...

haaayyy...-_-... bahala ka na nga Lord...
yey... i can play 'Gone' na.. it's a piano instrumental... got the peice from hannah.. the tune is.. uhm... er.. can't explain basta sad, mushy and often heard in teleseryes.. o diba.. kinareer...haha

and then... uhmm... yeah... i'm reading another book... by meg cabot.. 'teen idol'... evuluation some other time..

speaking of meg cabot.. i visited meg cabot.com and found her diary there (i dunno if it's the real thing tho) and guess what.. it's powered by blogger!
but you can't really see the address coz it's named megcabot.com... blah..

haayy...
oh well... looks like i need to do my homeworks na...-_-;;
---
haha.. later na lng muna yan.. tinatamad pa ko eh..
eheheheee...
so far.. my hate towards la germania electronics is subsiding na... since she's not so rude with me last time during this period where i have no choice but to join their group...=)

but still.. charles [from the law] is as irritating as ever... she keeps making destructive comments... still bossy, and yeah... EVERYONE is still a whole pile of tupperwares on her... get that?

uhmmm... mililiters [y'know i have to stay corny in naming them.. these are blind items...] is still the same trying-hard-to-make-people-laugh kind of person... and she's quite NOT lucky about that... since she's being.. kind of thrown-out in a popular kind of way... which makes me feel sick about her.. but she's not that bad either...

and this 2 ...are my all time hates.. although they're not doing anything to me now... [just their mere existence makes me want to throw up] bruce and ga(suqared)INV.. blah... [corny talaga ng name pero that'll help me remember them well...] y'know them.. one of the stupid pathetic creatures who tried to ruin my 2nd yr...
to no avail.

-_-;;
----
this valentines season is not an exception for me NOT to hate...=\

sundaaaayyyy... =)

as promised.. manila bay pics.. hehe...
taken last january [forgot the date] 2005... hehe...



if ur using a laptop.. try to tilt the screen backwards a little to see the rays clearly.. hehe...
so obviously... almost all of them are the same... i'm enjoying the rays of lights... also the smallest kid there... cute... plus the couple... sweet..-_-;;
so generally... lahat naman gusto ko.. haha

BREAKFAST

guess what? we suddenly remembered we don't have cooking oil left.. as in the last drop was consumed yesterday...
we just reheated the fried rice from yesterday..yes, without oil.. and since we don't have any ulam... i made myself one... bagoong with kalamansi... hehe.. sarap kaya.. haha...
i would love to eat bread and herb cream cheese.. kaso january 25 pa pla expired ung cheese.. haha...-_-;;
ayun.. so far...SO GOOD!

LoL.. i was thinking... what's my favorite chocolate nga pla?
in case u'd like to give me something sweet for this valentines season.. give me ferrero rocher... i'll greatly appreciate that...^_~

----
oopss.. tomorrow na pla ung notecards.. and i still don't know what to do. i think mag iimbento na lng ako ng laman coz all my sources are in the library and the philosophy shelf was 'please don't use this shelf... books are for blah blah..'.. ohhhkkkaayyy?

haha...
i bought ferrero awhile agooo.. for cl nga eh.. kasi pinapadala kmi ng 'favorite' chocolate nmen.. i think we're going to be tested for another sacrifice kind of thing... ok lng.. valentines naman.. pero sana... sana.. may magbigay sakin ng chocolates!!

----

seriously. philamlife hates me! i mean us...
awarding ni mommy laging exam and may pasok.. so i won't be able to escort her through the night and worse.. i won't be able to go to a hotel! haha...

----
during church... i was so pissed off with my sister.. she keeps on smiling.... wierdly.. just because the topic is of valentines day and she's... excited.. as if naman noh... her grayscaled love life is turning into 100 dots per image 32 bit color.. while mine stay black and white...

just wait. -_-;;

haha... just for fun...

hihi, i tried searching my name in google... whatever.

whoa. i really thought it's friday today...i slept a lot... grabe tapos when i woke up... (kasi nakatulog ako sa kwarto ng katulong namin sa basement)... i transferred to my room upstairs tapos nagtaka sila... bat ko raw dala ung unan, kumot at rubbershoes ko.. haha.. ok so nagising ako...-_-;; baliw ko talaga.. feeling ko nag s-sleepwalk ako...haha.. tapos...

zzz..
tulog ulit ako...
----

sa school... yeah... dapat di na ko pumasok... we never did any formal lesson... pero ok lng. perfect ako sa ap quiz yey!

tss... i sooo hate it when she looks at me that way... parang gusto pa nyang balikan ung dati.. yuck... bwiset...
-_-;;
nakakabadtrip... and she keeps on pointing at me... arghhh... ewan ko lng pero... tss.. gusto ko magtago...
mejo boring ung program.. but the best.. for me is... ung KARATE! haha.. funny... i like the song... hihi...


----

AT LAST!
i finally got a PLOT for 'Blog-girl'
ksi type lang ako ng type ng story.... di ko naman alam kung san patungoo.. sooo..basta.. surprise... haha...

during unwanted circumstances...

again again again... our driver, which happened to be my uncle as well... was fumed up by my not-showing-up when he fetched me at around 4...

hell! how was i to know he's gonna fetch me at 4? when it is clear that my oh-so-damned-sister gets dismissed during 5:30 since they have the rigodon/cutilion practices?



and he left and didn't come back for me.

fuck him.

i won't give him respect since our relationship as of now has gone beneath the uncle-niece one... rather i'm talking here on a driver-master basis...



harsh.

i know.



i wouldn't be if i'm not fucked up by this.

my mom's secretary fetched me at 5 and said we're going to commute...duh

ok. no problem then we commute... but unfortunately...



my sister... yes.. my GREAT sister brought [take this down]:

BEANBAG

STOOL

TELEPHONE

WALL CLOCK

FLOWER VASE (with flowers)

and other random HOUSE THINGS stuck in my HUGE giordano monkey printed paperbag...



crap. and we're stuck UNDER the rain.

good thing it's not a heavy downpoour.



so... my mom's secretary left me first in FEU while she gets a taxi...

just how are we going to get home with a whole bunch of household materials?



anyway... after waiting for some while... she unfortunately brought two tricycles coz it's hard to spot a vacant taxi around...



ok... now the problem is... we won't fit... not with the beanbag, the stool and the paperbag...



but anyway.. we got over that... but i'm still not over the whole thing of being stuck (almost suffocated) with a beanbag stuffed in your front which gets all the space you need to grab some air...



but still.

it's ok...

kinda fun...

i still can't forgive our driver for this.



PS. (as if letter toh noh...) given ANY CHANCE.. i WON'T bring a STOOL or a BEANBAG to school.

not unless GOD asks me to.

walk on...[prom musings]

great... i'm figuring out on how to walk with my prom shoes without tripping over the STAIRS.

o.O

i did a mistake for choosing an almost 3inches high stilletto [crap..how was that spelled?]

i'm kinda walking it over so that i'd be used to the pain it gives while you walk through stairs, or even cobblestoned streets... if there is such a place here...and of course avoiding banana litters... haha.



-_-;; the shoes. the shoes. the shoes.. -.-;; i'ts really annoying how mom would insist on sticking a RUBBER mat-kind-of-thing on the soles so that i won't slip.

aww.. that's just SOOOO sweet... get me.



my gown.

my sister's gown.

the same gown she used in rembrant.

and now she's still going on the same spot for her senior's prom... how did that suck?

i asked her... she said she wouldn't be on the prom... if not for her partner in the dance program....

tss...-_-;



oooohhhkkaaaaayy?

--------------------



i still don't have a date.

and i'm not looking for one.

ha.ha.hA.ha.ha.



--------------------

SUICIDAL TENDENCIES

y'know, i'm not the only one who suffers that i-think-i-have-to-kill-myself thing whenever i get smacked by my dad or something...



here it goes...

jan. 6, 05

my dad just beat the crap out of me awhile ago. and duh! it hurts... but the weird thing is... when i ran upstairs and lock myself in the bathroom, my mind is craving for more PAIN. My arms as of the moment is not heavily bruised but it's numb and i can feel pain trailing throughout my whole body.

yet again. i'm craving for pain. in short, my conscience, which was supposed to be advicing me to clm down, is outdone by my thought of taking SUICIDE.



seriously. i have a huge psychological problem.



i'm thinking of ending my life. unfortunately there were no sharp objects within my reach and so i go for the lesser case of self mutilation (if that's how you would describe my grievous action). I grab a hairclip (yeah.. the one beauticians use to hold ur hair when styling) and held the metal part of it (it's not that sharp but it should pass for a motivational object for suicide) and scratched my right arm for like 20 times until the blood clotted and there was this 1 inch thick and 8 inches long red line of clotted blood.



i wonder why it didn't bleed... hmmm....

i took time to reflect after this really foolish attempt to actually hurt myself physically... i dried my tears and went out to continue my unfinished homework of drawing coconuts, hammocks and a sun (that looks like a burger) for our fliers when dad apporached for this humble and almost polite apology.



pero i'm not in the mood so i keep on ignoring him...and he gave up and left me..



yadda yadda... i hate mushy reconciliations...



----

after the desperate attempt to hurt myself.. i discovered na... uy.. mag poprom na pla.. gagaling pa kaya toh?



stupid.



pero ngayon.. we're fine na.. we went out pa nga eh.. o.O

onga pla... we had our prom talk awhile ago... oh well.. didn't enjoy it that much... kasi it's the talk for people with dates.. hehe.. and i'm datelesss..



i'm totally pissed off with the table-mates thing... i don't want to be with people whom i barely consider as my CLOSE friends.. and they're putting me with them.. darn. is this the consequence of not having a date or what? i'm put-in on random tables just to FILL in a buttless chair?



we bought my prom shoes kanina! ok.. not really MINE coz my sister has to wear it first kasi she's having her JS prom THIS friday and we just went to shop for her gown last SUNDAY?... how much early is that?

and look... i have to use her gown next yr.. (if ever may gradball) like i have to use her previous gown this prom...



crap.



and her gown is FREAKIN' RED!

how are you supposed to put mocha in blood?



seriously... while RED is my all time favorite color, i wouldn't want to wear a freakin bloodyyy vamp red in the gradball... even though it looks good on me... ahahaaaa...



----

let's go off topic.. i'm currently browsing for harry potter fics... i'm looking for this certain fic having draco as a vamp.. uh... whatever..

it reminds me of my fic writing seasons... like.. i actually tore my first naruto fic because of guilt... coz I got COMPLIMENTED FOR MAKING IT A REALLY GOOD CLIFFHANGER AND THE MATURE scenes are DEPICTED WELL.



that made me feel faithless.

i mean... that's one helluva nice review.. but y'know. i'm guilty of all those SCENES i wrote.. that's why i tore the paper in half and threw it..



and now... im NOT writing naughty scenes anymore! yipeee.. but my story really got me hanging... bitin nga sha noh...ahaahahaaa... the whole nude sketching and the dreams... uhh... nvm.



----



it's quarter to ten... haven't changed my dress yet.. im still wearing the uniform

i remember something about ENVY...



i actually envy someone from class having her date as one of my all time crushes...-_-;; starting from the first time he appeared on mag.. i mean.. am i right? in the second edition of questor? with the monster rancher cover?



another thing...

i envy my sister for having really NICE feet! while mine has scratches and wounds and stuff...my sister's feet fits in all sorts of shoes (given the right size of course) and I am so conscious about my super tiny nails, my dark feet and the little scratches i got from playing...



and she too.. is envy of me? for one reason.. she wants to get slimmer..

hello? world to my sister? i'm not even slim.. or does she want the kind of figure that nothing else on your body expands when you eat aside from your stomach? oh... go figure.