two more days to go...

and torture week is over. would you believe... i didn't study last night for the tests tomorrow. right now i feel that i would flunk the test (all!). well at least i studied an hur for each subject... awhile ago i woke up at 3am.. studied english, computer and journalism... oh good thing they separated english from journ or we'll have to suffer the wrath of boredom brought to us by our english teacher.



our test awhile ago, eng, journ, and comp... is average although i graded the computer test 'let's cry'... with the reason: hehehe... no catch really... i just feel like it... anyway.. it's really hard especially that i didn't study those programming languages...

journ: kinda easy... kinda lng ah... the feature article used up all my time. i barely have 40 minutes left to finish computer....-_-

eng: it's ok.. but i still dont like it... i do not like constructing sentences....-_- with conditions of different sequence of tenses! they're so not my type of language... as if i'll have to learn that. can't wait for the tremendously LONG sem-break. which is. two holidays and two breaks. how bout that... 4 fucking days???!!!!?!?!



-_- and hey.. our test tomorrow includes chem! i hate that subject actually... but i really need to study... haayyy... good thing i got my mind cleared out for stoich or else... tsk. bad thing is... i have to memorize all the fucking anions at cations in the periodic table... coz i didn't do it last time...the charges are downright complicated and confusing. so.. that means i have to study... RIGHT NOW. but i can't.. aww... just look how attached i am right now to the computer... -_-... i'm too lazy to sudy.... guess 4pm's a good time... i guess... hehe.



so for now... hmm... i think i'll be doing some net stuff like hoppping to blogskins to find new layouts to base-edit...



so far... just wish me luck with my test...

presenting--- a week of torture

haayyy.. torture tlga... bukod sa i'm soo lazy to study pinoi.. iskipped studying geom last night... which results to a heavy guilt-filled head!!! grr... i wish i studied last night!! sana langgg!! grr tlga... di na ko mahilig mag-aral tulad nung gradeskul!!! haaayyy... sana makapasa ako kahit pano... ayoko na ng line of 7 sa card noh!... hmm...cguro mmaya.. meme time agen..



ay wait.. i'd like to share this story to you.. napaiyak nga ako dito eh..



In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I Have Liked". I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.



And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.

A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed".



The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read", "Lies I Have Told", "Comfort I Have Given", "Jokes I Have Laughed At". Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've Yelled at My Brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have muttered Under My Breath at My Parents". I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.



I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 16 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.



When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I Have Listened To", I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.



When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts", I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.



An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With". The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.



And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.



But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?



Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

meme time agen...

should i plug this? MEMEGEN!

Where Do You Fit Into the Harry Potter Universe? by caitiedid
Username
Age
House	gryffindor
You	rival harry potter in defense against the dark arts
Quiz created with MemeGen!

your harry potter lover (ansers are all male characters) by purple_flames
your first name?
sex?	femalemaleyes please!
age?
favourite colour?
you lover...	draco malfoy
Quiz created with MemeGen!

What do the Harry Potter Guys Think of You? by pervy_hobbit_fancier
Name
Age
Rupert thinks you	are well preserved
Dan thinks you look	like you're easy
Tom thinks that you need to	take a shower
Sean says you	are cute
Quiz created with MemeGen!

meme #1 and 2 are all lies! i made it all up accdng to my liking..

3&4 remain untouched.. ^_^

di ba obvious.. puro hp meme ung singot ko?

Willard - a rather freaky morbid movie

not exactly morbid.. but that's how i look at it... just watched it awhile ago on tv.. really gross...-_- willard is a man with a confused brain... he's like atlas from the myth who carries the earth... like a desperate usher when he told his confessions, like a rat... always tested to prove new ideas... yeah...



RATS! i hate rats! that's why i hate the movie... it has looootttsss of rats!!! oh gross...-_-



------



i used to hate usher too... but now i like him coz of his duet with alicia keys! and also because of the fact that he's a good ( a great actually) dancer... haha... i saw a glimpse of the mtv of 'yeah'... i'm impressed.



------



SIRA ANG DIET!



all because of these three deserts

leche flan

ice cream

cake...



what else can you stuff in my gut? i've got all the fats! the cholesterol! all the possible factors for acquiring a heart attack! highblood! even osteoporosis (i drink a lot of coffee)...



man...seems like i don't look lyk my age after all... you wouldn't think i'm 13 if u see me... i'm also mistakened as a college student!! TWICE! -- by nez's bro jao! and the jess lapid look-alike doctor in capitol medcen.-_- i hate looking old...



reminds me of tuck... everlasting.

i wish i could find a big old oak tree with a strange looking spring of water down being held by its roots... then discover that i'll be young forever!



yeah right.

meme time...

Your Years at Hogwarts by nevermindless
Name:
The Sorting Hat places you in:	slytherin (green and silver)
Subject you are naturally best at:	defense against the dark arts
Your favorite book:	modern spells by captain mcLatch-hook
Pet you bring to school:	silver owl
You are most known for:	trying to kill harry but ended up falling in love with him.
Quiz created with MemeGen!

What type of music are you? by Rachel
LJ username
First name
Year of birth
Favorite instrument
Favorite color
You are	acoustic
Quiz created with MemeGen!

huh? organ tapos acoustic? labo...

i think i just fancy updating a lot...

oh.. look at that.. i haven't opened a single notebook to prepare for the quarterly test...-_- lalalala... haha... posting tolerance should be required of me whenever i change my layout... haha... and it's actually fun to create and create new layouts... hihi... i wonder.. when am i going to get my own miscrosoft frontpage and adobe photoshop??? and my own PC??!?!?



grrr... malapit na magpasko.. i wish people would give me kahit isa lng dito:

1. a PC

- pentium 4

- with colored printer and flatbed scanner

- win OS - XP

- cguro mas ok kung flat screen sha...

- 40 gb RAM!

- may modem

2. a discman

- gusto ko orig! as in sony or philips or something..

- may fm at mp3 player

3. adobe photoshop installer

4. MS frontpage installer (i'm sick and tired of doing layouts in notepad!!! grrr...)

5. new rubbershoes

6. new wardrobe

7. a lot of RPG games... uh... don't include ragnarok and the sims please...



haha.. i know.. it's no use posting it here... sobrang demanding noh? as if my mabait dyn na magbi2gay sakin ng mga yan! haaayy... i need a miracle... kelangan ko ng maraming pera.. ngayon na!

------



i love music.. but because of poverty... i resort to illegal production of music... burning! muhahahaha... and now.. i have to suffer.. b/c our laptop has been infected by a virus and i can't open my kazaa...which means... i can't even burn... -_-



haayy... bwiset na trigo yan... our teacher gave us over a hundred problems to answer!!!! all to be passed b4 the exams.. w/c is NEXT WEEK! f*ck!



ay... wala lng...sobrang nakukyutan lng ako sa wallpaper ng phone ko... pinicturan ko ung dlwa kong stufftoy.. i made them look like kissing each other... sobrang cute!!! grabe... hehe



onga pla... i sooo like alicia keys! ang galing nya kasi mag piano eh.. idoL! pati voice... ok lng pero mas gusto ko ung piano skills nya...

nuff said... bye

RED AND BLACK ROCKS!

w8 nga...hmm... i think i 'll have to experiment with codes agen pra mapalabas ko ung title ng mga posts... haha... i like my layout.... my confession akong sobrang small deal...ung meme result sa harry potter quiz... pinalit-palitan ko lang kasi ayoko nung result... Lee Jordan daw...-_-.. yoko nga! haha...



currently listening to: track 5 of the 100% senorita OST (burned lng ni karlita toh eh.. hehe) -prang ang scary ata... hmmm...



kahapon.. may party d2 sa house.. for my parents' dear 1st anniv sa market operation.... haayyy... ok un.. dami food! tapos my ballooonnnnsss!! prang childrens' party! haha.. tapos inakyat ung organ sa kwarto ko kasi there's no space for the component system.. hehe... ang cute na tuloy ng room ko.. may guitar na.. my organ pa.. kulang na lng.. hmm... cguro electric guitar.. wag lang drums.. sisikip.. haha.. tapos kumuha ako ng limang magkakaibang colors ng baloons tapos inipit ko sa headboard ng bed! ang cuteee!! hahahahaha... tapos... dinner ko lng nun.. isang malaking cake at leche flan!!! waw!! puro sweets!!



nanaginip ako! haha... nakalimutan ko na nga eh...haha.. paggising ko.. ininvite kami ni momy na mag laro sa circle!!! himala!! and so we went there... tinawagan ko na rin c dear cousin dianne para may makausap akong di masungit!.. hmmph! haha,.. un lng.. nag potlock na lng kami ng food.. paksiw na lechon! grabe... sarap tapos may lumapit saming missionary... nagbebenta ng peanut brittle... shempre.. awa nman ako kaya bumili ako kahit mahal... 10 pesos.. pero ang liit.. ok lng.. it's for the LORD! ^__^



hay.. exam week na next wk... gud luck to me...