Day 30 - Your Highs and Lows of this Month

July high - WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
July low - i can't seem to run out of things to do and think about. >XO

natapos din. half-assedly but the what the heck. >:)
this has been a very interesting month for me so far. except for thesis. which is the least bit interesting. >:|

Day 29 - Goals for the next 30 days

My ultimate goal is to do well in ICON week and give just requital to my grades who just took a nosedive to hell.

sometimes i wonder if all of this happened because of too much curiosity and crap. sometimes i regret ever screwing with the timing, the plans and everything. Lord, what do you say in all of this? cos seriously, it's taking up a lot of my brain. >XO i don't usually worry about things like this because the lack of formality gives me literally no reason to assume further, and besides, they say i'm kinda dense and won't take an action for a hint. it was cool until 20 years later.

another thing.
i'm sleepy and i'm having a hard time accepting that there is in fact loads of work for me to do. tons of photoshopping and reading and writing and reviewing. blah.

Day 28 - Something that you miss

afternoon naps. definitely.

who would've thought i'd get some sensible input from one of the most unlikely guys ever. seriously! he's turning into one of my closest and it's a crazy big breather. thank you Lord.

Day 27 - A problem that you have had

how cool is this, i was looking for him all over facebook a month back and just earlier, he made me realize that we've been friends all along, and that he was the one who added me first because... i don't remember. he just told me he searched me up and added me cos he saw my name somewhere as some kindofan officer somewhere i don't remember. he resembles my best friend so much, physically. >:) this night was pretty cool. i was like, seriously we're fb friends?! and i accepted you?! who are you?! weow. >XD

uhm. okay. quite honestly, i don't feel comfortable blogging here anymore but i've grown so fond of this place and look, LOL, i have a pagerank of 1. it's so hard to rank nowadays you know! and i was wondering where most of my visitors came from so i checked my stats and saw quite an awful lot of chuck bartowski searches. hey guess what, search it up on google and see the "images for chuck bartowski" part on the web search page. the first pic directs to my blog. how cool is that. seriously. haha

another high ranking search is "how to turn off chat on facebook 2011". just LOL. i wish i could monetize this traffic. traffic is still traffic. no matter how small it is. haha

oh hi, where is my sense of urgency. >XO

all my midterms still suck but i'm working on it. why must this trimester be exponentially harder?!

my boss prompted me to this children's story writing contest. i'll look into it but srsly, hahaha. i'll also TRY to write something for that peace essay writing chorva. i joined and failed last year, so i wanna try again! bwaha. 

yesterday, the shanghai siomai girl from the food court was like this to terai, 

ss girl: parang kilala kita

terai: >8|

ss girl: ikaw yung nahablotan ng bag sa jeep noon

terai: >8O

ss girl: grabi yun! dun ako dapat uupo sa pwetan ng jeep e. grabe talaga takot ko nun. dahil dun natuto ako, hindi na ako umuupo sa pwetan. delikado na. 

terai: >XD hehe

galeng diba! how cool is it to be recognized like a celebrity! LOL di nga, at least someone learned from terai's mischief! odiba, galeng nung coincidence. haha

and now to a problem i've had:

by 'had' it must be imperative of something that has already been solved. 

uhm. problem. masyadong marami i dunno where to start. i think my greatest problems haven't been solved yet, i'm still facing them kasi hahaha. ewan. problema. ano ba. pera? ah yeah, the one with my good friend! it was a problem. and it was solved. friendship issues! it strengthens the bond i guess! i mean, after the dispute, everything was much better. super. ayun. that's it. 

btw, i feel sad that i can't open up to just anyone about my worries because. because. i don't know where their loyalty lies. have you ever felt like you were so keen on pouring everything out but you just can't cause the people around you don't seem interested enough in what you have to say or that they have a tendency to report it to someone else urgh and you feel friendless and lonely and crap. like no one's on your side and everyone's spying on you. jusme a. lalo na kung hindi naman tungkol dun sa gusto nila malaman yung ikkwento mo and in fact, makaka-spoil pa dun sa gusto nilang malaman. hay. nakakalungkot kaya yung excited ka magkwento pero parang hindi naman interesado yung tao so okay, nevermind na lang. chaka lamo yung, conscious ka na rin sa mga kinikwento mo kasi hindi mo alam kung pano nila ii-interpret yun baka isipin, nanggugulo ka nanaman or nagpapa-pansin or nagpapa-ekek porket alam mong si ganto ay ganto at yung kwento mo e masyadong ganto. sus. 

nowadays, it's so friggin hard to get someone to listen to you with all ears and no bias and who wouldn't think you're all about yourself and crap. oh come on.

Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you

more than looks, i'm more concerned with maturity, intelligence and sense of humor. someone who acts older, who's smarter, more reliable and is genuinely Christian. someone who reads, writes, draws, whatever. someone inclined to arts and philosophy. there's so much to talk about life and blah and i appreciate wisdom a lot. hello ideal guy! bwahaha someone sensible, aaaaand someone i can be childish around with. nakakasawa rin mag ate-atehan ah, that's why i love daddy and terai so much because they spoil me! joke. no, actually i just want to feel secured. iba yung may nasasandalan ka pag may problema e. yung talagang malalapitan mo with full comfort and no ilangness, yung di ka mahihiyang istorbohin parang si terai. aw, when it all comes down to it, i bet i never really had anyone like my sister. sabi ni terai sakin dati, gusto nya yung magiging boyfriend nya katulad ko kasi baliktad kami e, ako daw yung parang ate (until she started earning and the tables were returned in place lol). ako naman, ayoko ng boyfriend na katulad nya! wahaha sama ng ugali! gusto ko yung katulad ko (and more!), at kung gusto nya rin ng katulad ko sabi ko mag-aaway tayo nyan! pareho tayo ng type! no waaayyyy. bwaha

waha lumabo bigla.

actually, i'm sleeping soon and hoping that God is listening and working on my immediate prayers! thank you Lord for Wendy's yehey they gave me salad and super large iced tea, i'm starting to love the place hahaha! >:D I'm looking forward to a successful year! and please please please THESIS. >:S ayokonaaaaaaa

sabi sa horoscope ko ngayon, maging busy daw ako at maraming kukuha ng atensyon ko. natumpak ng Philippine Star.

Day 25 - Someone who fascinates you and why

it's hard to think of just someONE, there are tons of people who fascinate me but usually the fascination expires. anyway, there's probably only one group of people that will always always catch my fancy and they are the ARTISTS! yeahhhh >:D it's both inspiring and fascinating browsing at smashing portfolios over the internet! i particularly adore Bjornik and Wee Will Doodle cos they're style is maximalism at its best and it's soo frakking kickass.

oooh Google+ >:D

just signed up and is eager to give out invites! >:)

Day 24 - Your favorite movie and what it's about

JUNE 25 PA PALA TO. NAKA-DRAFT LANG HEHE

why do i feel like i work so slow? and that there aren't a lot of things to do. nubayan. the perks of being in such a  cooperative team. yehey! >:D anyway, after the GA, we have to work on the outreach and sponsors. and the tutorial thing. ayun. madami palang gagawin LOL. >:D

but for now, let me continue watching Vampire Knight! i'm on season 2, Guilty! >XD

vampires are such... romantic people! at least in fiction haha

my favorite movie? i seriously can't pick just one even though i'm not a movie person. i'm a fan of romance/tragedy! anything that touches my heart and makes me cry (not out of fear ha) is a good watch for me, i cry easily anyway. wahaha i've cried over AI, Bicentennial Man, City of Angels, Tuck Everlasting, Jane Austen, Wall-E, Click and blah. there's a lot LOL. oh i also like chick flicks! basta nakakakilig wahaha i dunno what my favorite movie is, but i have a major preference for anything Jackie Chan too. plus loads of tear jerkers. >:D

good night! tomorrow better be good!

Day 23 - Pictures of 5 famous guys you find attractive

it's hard to pick to just 5! >XD
anyway, in no particular order.

1. Chuck Bartowski
i put Chuck  instead of his real name, Zachary Levi, because it's his character that i came to adore more than the actor himself LOL.

2. Chad Michael Murray
for being Lucas on One Tree Hill. he has the most mesmerizing eyes grabeee ♥

3. Harry Potter
not Daniel Radcliffe, and specifically Harry Potter from the 3rd installment (Prizoner of Azkaban) because it's his last totoy look. On the fourth installment, he already hit puberty and became more manly. Eh wala lang, I prefer this look.

4. Ryan Agoncillo
my forever crush since grade 6, specially when he wears glasses and hosts Y Speak.

5. Usui Takumi
my ideal guy aka someone who most probably doesn't exist in real life. but still my ideal anime guy.

Day 22 - How have you changed in the past 2 years?

i think i never changed in the inside, my values, attitude and character is the same all throughout. what changed was the environment i'm in. i moved to a different college and exerted the same effort as i did before, and it gave me good (not to mention shocking) results. when i was in LB, i also did what i can, what i thought was my best, and every time it gave me a mediocre result, i get demotivated. i want dark chocolate. and from there i slack off and the rest is history. HAHA i would say i became more responsible, but that's only because i get good feedback with my efforts. i wasn't driven enough and i'm craving for carbonara.  i knew i had that certain sense of responsibility but it wouldn't come out cos back then everyone seemed more responsible, more fitting, smarter and every thing and you just have to settle being a good ass commoner and buy cheeseburger.

i'm so hungry. random phrases inserted everywhere. will make carbonara in a bit and probably buy kitkat dark! >XD gutom na kooooo!!! 

and wait!  my friend says i'm being Misaki-ish from Kaichou wa Maid Sama recently LOOL there are the similarities but 2 things are out: 1) i'm not loud and imposing and worst of all 2) i don't have an Usui. and i realized having an Usui around at school would be creepy, nakakailang, nakakairita at nakakabwiset. >XO maganda lang sa anime kasi anime yun. >:D otherwise, i'd be freaked out to hell. believe me, you wouldn't want a real life Usui.

me nagtanong, the one who says or the one who shows?
i don't believe in the saying action speaks louder than words. it's your assumptions that speak all throughout, feeler. and honestly, it takes a whole lot of courage to actually confess rather than drop hints and motives that are vague as hell. it gets tiring having to read between the lines, the human brain is degenerating per generation yaknow. so it's still better to let it all out, word per word, verbally, how you really feel about the world or a person in general. just like blogging. haha. and seriously, it's braver to confess fellas, it's like saying sorry to a person whom you've hurt so much. it takes so much pride srsly. and wait lang ha, i'm simply answering a question. another point here is, you can't count on one's feelings just because it shows. just like how you can't sue someone without evidence. words give much more assurance than actions. bow. eh yun lang naman. gutom na talaga ko.

Day 21 - One of your favorite shows

Chuck will always have a place in my heart. >X3 and Zettai Kareshi, One Tree Hill, Big Bang Theory, etc.etc.etc.

Why am i always sleepy?! WHY?!! WHY?! i am so sleepy and hungry and everything else. still caught up in planning.... and while it's every bit exciting planning for things to do, i actually want to see them happen. vision and action, come on! we can do this.

Day 20 - How important you think education is

i would have a lot to say about this but my main point would be that, to every youth, it must be their most valued achievement.



life is getting harder by the day! so many things to do, so little time! ashdfvbinabsdcasfdyucdssd
i'm getting really frustrated... at everything! i'm in this kindof in-denial, self-reassuring and delusional stage in life and and kahgsdasnsd. HAHAHA

ayun. i want to test myself. how well can i handle this? how does it feel to get burned out? yung tipong bibigay na dahil sa pagod. kasi minsan feeling ko hindi naman ako pagod, antok lang. and i'm still eating pa naman. so i'm not depriving myself in any way. i mean, i just bought a new phone pa nga e! yehey! haha siguro kelangan ko lang bumili ng uniform kasi ang dugyot ko na tingnan araw araw. haha

Day 19 - Disrespecting your parents

i wouldn't but of course, i have, many many times... and i only get either of the two, a bad scolding from mommy or a bad beating from daddy. ayun. >:)



for some reason, i'm itching to get a new life. out of school. new friends. new people. sometimes i'm thinking of shutting down all of my social networking chorvaness after graduation, and go incognito for a while. of course i'll spare this blog haha. parang ano, sarap umeskapo. daming kachorvahan sa buhay e!

anyway, pagod lang siguro. >:|
ayoko ngang pumasok bukas e. >:|

Day 18 - Your beliefs

i believe that there's a God who created all things including evil. or maybe you could jump to Day 4


yeah they're right. love is such a plague. i could really use a friend like now. joke. i mean, i've never been this emotionally unstable my entire life. one memory and i'm crying all over the place, or my desk whatever hehe. parang, anyare? bat ang lungkot? haay. i still can't accept it. hindi talaga. and the one person i know i could talk to about this is often unreachable, or basta ganun.

i'm trying to get it back together. like, i dunno. >:'(

parang ang lungkot. like. ang lungkot. ganito ba talaga pag nagka-lamat na?

divert divert!

Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year

that's 2010!

highs - grades! HAHAHA
lows - madaming puyat. madaming iyak. madaming selos. walang pera. and well, madaming panget. >:|




fuego. seryoso. buong araw syang nasa utak ko. hinahanap ko nga sa school eh, kahit look alike man lang. HAHA may crush na ko dalawa! yung isa kilala ko na! as in kilala na rin nya ko. last tri ko pa crush yun hohoho God is good! yung isa wala tinatanaw ko (pa) lang, freshman e. chinito lahat yesss! >XD and well, hindi ako sanay na may resource person pag nagss-stalk e kaso walang FB tong crush kong to e! tsk! kainis! at may girlfriend pa! hindi pwede! >:(

Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music

when i think of mainstream (as of 2011 2nd quarter) i think of lady gaga, katy perry, justin beiber and all those popular contemporary artists. i'm familiar with them but i don't really dig them. >:) the only time i enjoyed mainstream music was when it was jason mraz and linkin park on the spotlight. >:D

anyway, i think mainstream is just the same all throughout. i mean, The Beatles were mainstream during their time and now they're a classic. so you see, mainstream is just pertaining to the current popular music... and it changes. though i could hardly imagine lady gaga being a 'classic' after 50 years... yknow, by virtue of the conventional definition of 'classic' haha. >:)

with regards to music though, i enjoy jason mraz, a fine frenzy, yiruma, sungha jung, andy mckee, and instrumentals...and i grow easily fond of OST's (mapa anime, movie or series pa yan) hehe




this day was tiring. i was at school the entire day. awgahjvasdyudgihsidu hmmmmmm and we finally made up like crazzzzyyyyyy. or more like, i finally freed myself from all the guilt. JOKE. i even bought her chocolates, and i picked the one she mentioned before cos i know it's her favorite. peace offering ganun. well it can't be helped na naiinis parin ako paminsan minsan but at least, i'm trying to, hmm pano ba, look on the brighter side? mahirap kasi. i'm tying yknow. i'm tryinggggg. at kinikilig parin ako kay fuego. hay. haaaaayyyy jusme. nagpapantasya na nga ako eh! iniimagine ko na mag-eenrol sya sa fern at marerecognize ko sya as fuego at i-eentertain ko sya (well that sounded wrong haha) sa enrollment at magiging girlfriend nya ko at isasama nya ko sa isa nyang battle makikilala ko si anygma!!!! at makikita ko si abra!!! at si apekz!!! pero sya parin boyprend ko ang kapal lang talaga ng muka ko minsan no. oh well. wala pa kong tinitira nagi-ilusyon na ko. this is how i idealize men and get crushed when i finally get to know them for real, haha. iniisip ko kasi na may sense syang kausap at madami syang alam at magaling sya mag-english at matalino syang ka-diskusyon at corny sya. well muka naman syang corny e, ok lang tatawanan ko naman sya mahilig naman ako tumawa kahit di ko gets e. ayoko na nga kalokohan na to e!!!! >XS haaay Lord, lakas tama e! love knows no bounds na talaga. chossss!

uhm, i have one crazy professor. seriously, she's crazy. ewan ko ba, it's gonna be a harder trimester for me. simply because i have a lot of minor subjects and it's hard, as a senior stud, to give a good impression on these profs who don't know me. leche mahirap kaya magpa-impress amidst all the first years! first struggle is to get out of the stereotype that graduating dudes are delinquents. and yknow, the profs don't know our curriculum at all. they see seniors in a freshman class and they think these guys are second takers. le shiz. and our crazy prof is every bit annoying. she's not funny, though she's trying to be. and she's like, "why did you transfer? maraming kang singko ganon?" and i was like, "yeah" in all smiles pa ha, and her face just distorted like crazy. ang sarap isampal ng scholarship ko sa kanya e. sorry. sorry talaga.

anyway, it's just the first day. i'll have the entire tri to prove myself. i like her subject pa naman. pero narealize ko, wait lang haaa! parang na-take ko na tong subject na to eh! it's totally SOSC1 in elbi! bakit hindi ko narealize yon!! aaaaarggghhhhh. sayang pera! sayang units!!! >_<;

challenge accepted.
we'll see, we'll see.

good night fuego!

omgeeeh sorry hahaha

Day 15 - Your favorite Tumblrs

naah. i don't have any. useless entry! haha

classes will be starting tomorrow! can't say i'm looking forward to it, i just wanna see my friends na! yun lang! i'm probably killing myself with my schedule, 24 units plus 16 hours SA. but yknow, when you start working and earning moolah yer never lettin go of it. oh material attachment is such a sinful virtue. if there's one thing i learned in economics during highschool, it's that your earnings are proportional to your expenses. when you start earning bigger, you also start spending bigger. i purchase a lot when i have a lot. ohwell. >:| peraaaa. i need you.

yesterday was extra scary, my last task for the day was to post room schedules on the doors. 4th floor was the creepiest. i was hearing a weird bird with some weird chirp so to entertain myself i imitated it by whistling and blah. for awhile it was cool until the chirp got louder and the bird actually flew in front of me like an agitated bat. it scared the hell out of me so i ran. bwisssettttt. >:|

i got home really tired and when i was about to sleep my mom asked me if i already have a special guy or if anyone's courting me. i said none yet, then she suddenly went, "bulaga!" and being the ever nerbyosa girl, i was startled like crazy and she too was shocked! parang tanga talaga, we were laughing the whole time. she did that 4 times before she finally climbed to her own bed to sleep cos i was crying her out of it already. oh, she did me a bit of pep talk too. but the only things i got were, 'LOL why the limitations?' 'that's not gonna work!' 'that's useless yer never nvr gna have a bf' 'hahahaha you know nothing' thank you mommy you're far too kind! wait til i get a latin honor and you'll be thanking me for chucking boys out of the list. >:) i know it's in our genes. i'm so sure of it. i'm soooooooooooooooo sure of it. >:)

meanwhile, i'm tryna stalk some ROMAN FUGOSO aka FUEGO of FlipTop. stuff i have to confirm tho.. number 1 is if he's really from Ateneo (super plus points. it's the Ravenclaw of Philippines whatever), and his age. he was 19 during a 2010-uploaded fliptop battle. i dunno how old that video is so whatever. haaay ♥ it's devastating having to watch him in a losing streak but my regard for him never changes. i still think he's intelligent! + + + + points! ♥ ♥ he's cute when he smiles! dsfnakdsh actually he reminds me of one of my elbi crushes, sherwin. hahaha

Day 14 - Your earliest memory

that would be when i started kindergarten 2. i was 4 i guess. my k2 memories include having 2 close buddies, kelvin and jordan. kelvin was my classroom buddy, we like to tickle each other anlandi lang hahaha we were seatmates kasi. hehe jordan was my after school playmate, we would sneak into the classrooms and stamp ourselves with those star-shaped stamps so when we get home we'd look like bright kids hehe. we also used to play with the monobloc chairs by piling them up and climbing on top of them. i remember one time, jordan fell on one of those and had his forehead stitched. haha no one blamed me of course, i also don't remember how i reacted when he fell. >X| ayun, i have very few memories from kindergarten school. that's all i have. >:D



argh Wall-E >:''''(((( nakakiyaaaakk huhu

this afternoon, i did that err one step to reconciliation. i apologized. i know i couldn't do it personally cos i'm such a cow and on top of that there's still a bit of hate and insecurity in me that i couldn't bring myself to beat my pride. i wasn't really hoping for anything but when my phone vibrated, my heart rejoiced. i almost cried. i wanted to. but heck im pushing around a cart at puregold. so yeah. i want to see her and hug her and cry and give her cadburry fruits and nuts. asijdhgabsdsagd. it's not really a message of forgiveness or something but it's safe to assume we're fine now. i probably can't stand being in a dispute with someone for too long, either i try to bring back the friendship or if my resolve to break all connections is dead solid, i'll grow apathetic and let things be gray.

which is yknow, bad. i think so? i know there's still one thing i need to fix but everytime i think of it, i just want to forget about it. push all memories away and pretend nothing ever happened. i'm growing indifferent by the minute. and it's weird cos i feel guiltless. my guilt is my conscience... it's a flag of goodness for me. cos every time i feel guilty i confirm for myself that i'm still aware of my wrongdoings. which is good. it's one thing to still be able to distinguish good from evil after living 21 years in an evil world.

i have two friends. the left and the right. the angel and the devil. parang ganun pero hindi, i'd like to think they're both angels haha. when i'm in bitch mode i go to my friend by my left haha cos with her it's totally okay to bash people and be utterly judgmental. i enjoy being with her because i get to be honest with my feelings like toooootally. on the other hand, if i wanted to do the right thing i'll go to my friend by my right. well, it's also ok to fool around with him but i don't think he's tolerant of evil things so it's awkward for me to be completely honest with him. >:| too much goodness is toxic rin ano. humans are evil and to force yourself to be good is an injustice to human nature. it's good to be bad, once in a while. but generally you have to be good. haha ewan.

2 days ng masakit ulo ko. ang hirap magsorry a leche, hindi ko kasi hobby yun e. askgjskdhlasl

Day 13 - Somewhere you'd like to move or visit

i wanna visit LB! yun.

sakit ng ulo ko. asdjhatsdgasbhlasn

parang gusto ko nung Huawei IDEOS na yun! cheapest android i spotted so far. and and, the Huawei E5! pocket wifi router! Lord!!!! >XD owell, said ako ngayon. i'm helping out on daddy's hospital treatment expenses. >:| and i've got 2 bills plus one obligatory bill to pay so yes, gotta satiate myself with online window shopping for a while! i'll get my cyberzone fix when school starts. or yknow, whenever i get enough money. haaaay. i'm so very super much thankful cos even with our messed up finances, everything's going well. i just saved 18,000 worth of tuition because of my scholarship. amennnnnn!

hahaha! ewan ko ba why i always think we're out of cash, e hindi naman! siguro kasi sapat sapat lahat dala ko araw araw? ewan basta. mahirap talaga ang buhay ngayon.

loaded trimester ahead! i had to rearrange my schedule for the nth time just to maximize my working hours. they've omitted working lunches and it sucked a lot for me. from 18 hours, i was down to 12 hours, so i did a few changes with my schedule and now i have 16 hours. yeheeyyy! anyway, that's the best i could work on. sobrang haggard na nga nung 24 units with 16 hours SA eh, but we'll see. balak ko kasing patayin sarili ko e. hihi >:)

Day 12 - Bullet your whole day

• woke up at 7, ate breakfast, took a bath, went to school.
• it's the first day of enrollment. i had to be early so i could help set up the computer labs! i came 5 minutes early! oha! >:D
• LOL i dunno how to face her seriously but i thought i just had to ask her if she's angry. i did and it was cool. i could feel her assumptions were wrong but it's better that having to lie again yknow. i'm such a bad liar. i almost can't. not with friends yknow. 
• anyway. it was a bit awkward. but we carried on.
• as usual. there was a horde or students lined up at the enlistment rooms that we had to do some crazy crowd control. as usual.
• enlistment was faster this time. no dead locks. 3 computer labs were utilized so there's approximately 120 computers being used simultaneously for enlisting. yey. 
• it was good that they put the 3 heads and the TRF printer in the same floor just beside the enlistment room. it was easier for the students to inquire about stuff.
• it rained hard this afternoon so i called daddy to fetch me
• then we fetched mom at the hosp. she's getting rehabed for her hurting joints or something. >:|
• sweldo yeyyyy! >XD

Day 11 - Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up

no ipod. shuffling a random folder from the library instead

1. one step at a time - jordin sparks
2. viva la vida - coldplay
3. crazy for this girl - evan and jaron
4. unwritten - natasha bedingfield
5. mahal kita - gerald santos
6. what i've done - linkin park
7. ikaw lamang - silent sanctuary
8. geek in the pink - jason mraz
9. love song - sarah bareilles
10. lucky - jason mraz

suko na ko. bahala na bukas lol >:)