Holy Thursday

Just taking the the time to look back on the previous week as I've just uploaded a new vlog hehe

Thankful for mommy's successful operation. It took an entire day! She's now in the ICU under careful monitoring. When her state improves she'll be transferred to a pay ward. Praying for a speedy recovery!

It's a difficult phase for the family. I know I'm not too hands on about it because I don't live with them anymore so it's my dad and sister who does all the legwork. Between watching mommy and trying to collect funds and guarantee letters from charity institutions and politicians, I know it's been terribly exhausting for them. If money wasn't an issue, meaning we have at least 2 million lying around, then this wouldn't put so much stress on them. But the reality is, they didn't have much saved. We all don't. They had to sell one of their properties, and even that wasn't enough. So my sister has to run around chasing charities for guarantee letters to ease up the expenses a little bit. And my dad has to take a bank loan because the bills just keep piling. I'm immensely thankful for the both of them and every day I ask God to continue giving them strength. 

When I visited mommy in PHC I was told to drive the car back to the house because they don't have overnight parking in PHC, even the one along Matalino. You have to pay by the hour, and they're probably staying for weeks so that's gonna cost a lot. I was a bit worried about this little side quest because it's been almost a year since I drove the Vios and I'm always afraid of driving a different car. I wouldn't dare. But this time I had to.

As I stepped inside and sat down to adjust myself, it felt strange. There was no wave of nostalgia, no familiar feeling. It's finally sinking in. This car isn't mine. At least not anymore. It's daddy's car now, has been for almost a year, and it shows. I had to adjust everything to suit me. The seat, the mirrors, where I put my things. I can feel its age, with the tight steering and light brake pedal. I can see daddy's mess as he always leaves personal items in the car, much to mommy dismay haha. I was cautious not to gas too hard because I know it's not as heavy as our new car. But this car is new. It's new to me. There's no traces of my ownership left in this humble orange casing. As I stepped out of it and locked the door, I started to miss Vi, realizing that our bond has been long gone. I guess that's just the nature of ownership, if it's yours it will show.

Much like our relationship with the Lord. If you're His, it will show. And everyday it's a struggle.

May we all have a meaningful holy week. ✟

Aja mama!

In a few hours my mom will be on the table to get a complex procedure done. There's nothing we can do at this point besides pray for a successful operation and a speedy recovery. She's getting a triple bypass and two valve replacement (aortic and mitral) surgeries at Philippine Heart Center. Multiple open heart procedures that will take a day. Be strong mommy! We're all rooting for you! I'm very excited for her recovery! But I also pray for strength for daddy and Terai who's doing all the legwork to ensure a smooth experience for mama. From watching at the hospital to processing grant letters here and there. Ate Necie as well who's been essential in keeping the house in order and attending to mama when she's at home. I pray to God that when mama is back to her good health, we can all enjoy a nice and sweet vacation! 

On another note, we're on the book of Exodus on our daily reading and I'm at the point where The Promised Land started. It's funny cos the show helped me imagine what's going on in the Bible so it's easier to recall. The Israelites sure are a stubborn and ungrateful bunch. They would complain over and over to Moses and would say they'd rather be back as slaves in Egypt. Seriously! If I were Moses I would feel very defeated, forcing a nation out of captivity and getting resented for it. I mean, I don't know if I could blame them. The journey to Canaan was long and arduous and they were bored to death. They probably felt more productive in Egypt, even as slaves, than in the wilderness, free but with no direction. Well they wouldn't be without purpose if they just listened to God but they just had to be stubborn, losing sight of the goal. Oh well.

Health needs wealth

Mommy was rushed to the hospital again. She'll be staying in the ICU for a while then getting an angioplasty. It's been very challenging for the family, financially speaking, because she just got out of the ICU on Feb and it took selling one of their income generating properties to pay for part of the bill and save up for her upcoming major surgery. And now she's back at hospital. Hay.

While I don't worry about it directly because I'm not with them and I'm not obligated to contribute, I know we're a few emergencies away from getting zeroed from paying hospital bills. With no HMO, and no stable source of income, eventually the cost will come down to us, Jec and I specifically. And we don't have much saved for medical emergencies. Specially from both sides. At the same time! My mother-in-law is also in a midst of a health crisis right now and I could only pray it's nothing serious. Or at least not too expensive.

And me? I just had an ortho consult earlier, which confirmed that there's something wrong with my right knee the way it's getting twisted more frequently lately. Doctor said it's kind of loose and needs to be scanned. Will be getting an MRI and hope for the best. Hope it's nothing serious like another ACL tear. I know I have a meniscus tear there from way back in highschool. It doesn't really hurt right now, and I'm being careful about it. But yeah, really need to strengthen my legs. I don't wanna undergo another ACL surgery and lose another full range of motion. Haaay. And while I have HMO, I would need to pay for the implant out of pocket again. I'm screwed (pun intended).

Aside from my knee, I've been advised time and time again to get a bridge for the gap in my teeth. Somehow it's causing my front teeth to move now and eventually it's gonna look bad. I've had a molar removed over 10 years ago and I never really worry about it because it's at the back. But you know because I'm lacking a molar, I couldn't chew on the left side of my mouth. That's been the case for more than 10 years. My dentist this time was able to sales talk me into getting a porcelain crown. It will cost 45k to do, which I'm seriously considering but I don't know I need to prioritize my savings first. I guess I'll wait for my mom to finish her surgery to see if I have the capacity to spend any more money.

Hay Lord.

Ugly good

Let's start with the ugly things first because hay. 

✱ My husband just left to go out with his friends. Again. I mean he goes out with them every week. I let him because I have no good reason to keep him at home on a Friday night. On one hand, I get to have time alone to write this and probably do my review backlogs. On the other hand, I cannot get rid of the sadness I feel every time he leaves. What if he dies? Yeah seriously.

✱ One of my orders got delivered to the wrong address. Driver never communicated, and he has no number on the app. I had to get it from customer support, which didn't help because the number cannot be reached. Rider chat was closed even when I have not marked the item as received, which is weird. The only good thing he did was attach proof of delivery in the app, which confirmed that he left my item in the wrong address. A condo on the other side of town.

✱ Koomi has been vomiting bile quite frequently lately. We tried increasing his food intake because we thought he just needed to eat more but sometimes he wouldn't even finish them. I feel bad calling him a bad boy and delaying his dental treat whenever he doesn't finish his food. :( 

✱  I've been over ordering food, again, and it sucks. For merienda I had pancit, shanghai, rice, and biko. And I only finished the pancit, the rest I could't finish. Then dinner came and I over ordered again. I had pad thai, pork krapow, lemongrass juice, and thai milk tea. I only finished the krapow and the lemongrass juice. I had rice, pad thai, and thai milk tea left over. On the plus side, I had the rest of the biko for dessert hehe. So yeah, lots of leftovers, hay.

✱  I was so lazy today I literally didn't do anything at work. It's the Friday curse. I was productive 3 days so maybe that counts? haha

As for the good things... let's see if I get to 10...

✱ The trending ghiblify me prompt is so cute. Creatives hate it for good reason, but I really love the output. Just look at these...

✱ I finally got to try a camera filter for the iphone. I bought a cheap option first, a phone case with a 58mm filter mount then I got a CPL and a dynamic ND filter. Set me back 1.2k, which is cheaper than my original preference which is a magsafe filter mount which of course needs magnetic filters as well, and they're mooore expensive.

It's really cool BUT the camera takes longer to focus now because there's a lens that's very close to it. This is a major one for me because it slows down my point and shoot process. I guess I'll stick to my default setup, which is nothing haha.

This is the type I got:

✱ Other purchases that made me happy: a new strap for my watch and a wrist wrest for my keyboard. Hopefully I don't get rashes with the strap cos it's nylon and breathable. And as for the wrist rest, it comes off a bit too high for my low profile keyboard but it is comfy! ♥️

✱ Unilab set off fireworks three times this week and it's amaaaaazing. We had the best view. It's the closest fireworks display we've ever witnessed in our unit and I loooove it! Better than NYE! 

✱  I just ticked off a big to-do at work so I'm now ready to start on my other projects lol. Gotta learn Power BI! 

✱  I've been buying a lot of things lately. I bought a new set of clothes from Uniqlo, intended for active use. Hopefully we get back to working out regularly in the coming weeks. :)

Oh well, still a good list. Happy weekend!

Everything hurts

My left hand hurts. I maaay have carpal tunnel syndrome according to youtube haha or a pinched nerve. I really shouldn't be spending more time on the computer. But yeah, my hand hurts when you put pressure on my thumb. Like a pinched nerve that won't go away. I hate it. Everything hurts. I'm an old hag. I've been twisting my right knee more frequently. It's so painful, like something got dislocated. And the only way around it is to snap it back into place by slowly straightening it. It's freaking torture I have to endure. The other day was the worst. Happened twice in a day within 4 hours of each other. And the 2nd one was fraking hell. Felt 2 snaps when I was straightening it. I really should get checked.