A very personal blog

Keep faking it

Today.

Monday meeting got cancelled. Which means it’s another lazy day for me. To be honest I haven’t done any serious work in weeks, maybe months, and I’m just here raking in the money. I feel guilty but I’m just too lazy.

More like scared.

I’ve reached my first year anniversary in this company and I haven’t, for the life of me, learned anything substantial about the tool I’m using. The tech I need to stack in order to survive. I haven’t fully adjusted to how things work around here. Who to tap if I have questions, WHAT TO ASK (more importantly). I’m just here wasting my days putting off tasks that could’ve been completed in a week if I only had the courage to ask people around for what to do. You know, show a little vulnerability, exposing my stupidity.

It’s depressing.

I don’t know how long I can keep faking it.