A very personal blog

Frkn migraine


I’ve been having frequent headaches recently. Normally it comes a week before my period, I’ll have it for one whole day and it’s hell, but now I have one almost everyday, at random times, and I’m still on my period. I notice I get headaches when I get up too late, or when I’m hungry, or thirsty. So I’ll eat alright, have some coffee, and it’ll be gone for a while, then it’ll be back. Then I’ll take some mefenamic, then wait for it to take effect, but I don’t think it really works. I actually have a headache right now at this moment while typing this. And it sucks. Maybe it also happens when I eat too much? Is it my glasses? Hay Lord. The location of the pain is telling of a migraine; the first one in this photo:

Besides this fucking migraine I’m also battling some work induced anxiety lol. I’m feeling overwhelmed with my first task, everything here looks super advanced like I’m not properly equipped with anything they’re expecting me to do. There’s a freaking huuuuuge knowledge gap I need to fill in because huhuhu everything is so advanced nga. Makes me wonder how the heck I got this job when they’re looking for an expert. I was very honest with my interviews naman where I said I’ve never done unattended robots and have never used orchestrator, all my UiPath experience are UI based and manually triggered and now I’m realizing how so freaking basic that is.

Haaay. I wanna say this too shall pass but I know it will not pass me by idly, I have to really work on this which is freaking scary because I don’t know where to start??? I do feel like I know who to go to but I don’t know what to tell them or ask them or what specifically do I need from them. I feel like I need a lot of hand-holding in order to do this one job but I also feel hopeful that once I get over this first task I will be in a much better mental state hahaha. For now I’ve started working on the documentation, trying to piece together the actual scope of the project and the manual steps for the as-is process, just to put something out there. I wanna blame myself for being so freaking shy and procrastinating on a lot of things that require talking to people. Half the stress I’m facing right now could’ve been eliminated if I went ahead and talked to people to get help. But no, I’m too scared to reach out! Oh well.